Guest Post From Greg

Hi people,
   This is Gregory James, James and Patti's younger child. Also known as: "Greg", "Greggie", "Greggie James", "His Lordship", "McScreamy"...you get the idea. I thought I'd tell you about my day.

    Mommy may have told you that I'm not the best sleeper in the world. Well, I tried to be nice to her and I slept for over ten hours last night. It's the last time I do something nice for her, because I just got mistreated all day...First, Mommy gave me a bath this morning. Normally, I like baths, but Mommy didn't let me play around in the tub for very long. Then, we headed to church. I saw Nani, Granddad, and Uncle Bart when we got there, which was a pleasant surprise. That was the last nice thing that happened for a while...
    Mommy and Nani took me away from everyone else and put me in a DRESS. A dress, people. Sure, they called it a "baptismal gown" and gave me some spiel about how my great-great-grandfather was baptized in it in 1879, but it was still a dress. Next, Mommy and Nani wouldn't let me go see my "girlfriends" in the nursery but made me go into the church service wearing this ridiculous getup. That was embarrassing enough, until I realized that Mommy was carrying me UP FRONT, ONTO THE STAGE. A few minutes later, I heard Mommy and Daddy make a bunch of promises about faith, church, being Christian, whatever, then next thing this guy I don't know very well (Mommy calls him Randy, and says that he's our pastor) poured some water on my face. Dude! I already HAD a bath today, thankyouverymuch. Then he held me up like some sort of prize on display. Finally, we left the stage, Daddy came to my rescue, changed me into some proper little boy clothes and let me go see my girlfriends in the nursery. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought it was over.
      Well, after that ordeal I really wanted to go home and take a nap. But Mommy and Daddy apparently disagreed with that assessment, because they (along with Nani, Granddad, Uncle Bart, Grandma Nina, and our friends Joel, Melissa, and Josh) all went out to lunch and dragged me along. I let them know how displeased I was. Eventually I went to sleep, waking up after a bit to eat some pureed food. They were all taking too long to eat, so I began voicing my displeasure. They were clueless! Here I was, a tired little boy with a soiled diaper who had been subjected to incredible humiliation and on top of all that, MY TEETH HURT! No wonder I was screaming. I was so ticked off with them I wouldn't even smile for any pictures.
     Eventually, we left the restaurant and went home. I got a clean diaper and within minutes was in the comfort of my crib, fast asleep. It will take a while to get over today, though. I mean, really. A dress? Public humiliation? A second bath? Denying me time with my girlfriends? No nap? How much can one little boy take?

Mommy had better watch out tonight. It's payback time, woman.