Deep cleansing breaths...

James is teaching a summer class on Monday-Thursday evenings, which means he has Fridays off. So, for the next few weeks, guess what my day off will be? Anyway, on Friday we headed up to Lynchburg to a shop called Mother Goose to order nursery furniture. We had picked out the collection (Young America by Stanley) and finish (Serenity) that we wanted and knew what the prices were going to be. We decided to get the "Built to Grow" crib and a four-drawer dresser that can double as a changing table. Of course when we added the crib mattress (Colgate Classica I foam) and toddler/full bed conversion rails, it was a little bit more than we were expecting. But, as we keep telling ourselves, this is high-quality stuff that should last for years.

After a brief break at home to nap and let "the boys" out, we headed to Greensboro to Babies R Us to look for a glider (Lynchburg doesn't have a Babies R Us, and the shop we got the furniture from doesn't sell them). The good news: we found a comfy glider that we both like (important since James is 14" taller than me) and they're having a big sale (20% off). The bad news: the glider is "a little bit more" than expected and we'd have to special order it in order to get one in a matching finish. And of course, the sale price doesn't extend to special orders. Nor does it apply to ottomans. I'm debating between going ahead, saving the money, and getting the glider in a "sale" finish OR going for broke and special ordering the glider in a finish and fabric that will match the nursery. The sale ends tomorrow, so I need to decide soon.

This baby thing is expensive...and we haven't bought any "gear" (car seat, Pack n Play, bathtub, changing pad, diaper bag) yet. My cousin Lieu gave me some stuff (stroller, breast pump, exersaucer, etc) which definitely helps. And of course, some things we won't need right away...we can wait several months to buy a high chair, baby gate, solid feeding stuff, etc. I'm currently scouring yard sales and secondhand shops in the hopes of finding gently-used items. However, it's amazing what people will charge for clothes with stains on them, filthy/ancient bassinets or high chairs, etc.

I still have 10-14 weeks! At least Susanna has someplace to sleep, a place for her clothes, and (soon) a glider to be rocked in.

Surgeon General Nominee: Jim Holsinger

OK, this is kinda cool. An ATS graduate has been nominated by President Bush to be the new Surgeon General!! Dr. James Holsinger received a master's degree from Asbury Theological Seminary. He has also served on our Board of Trustees, is president of the Judicial Council (the Supreme Court of United Methodism), and has been a delegate to the World Methodist Council. Naturally, he's a medical doctor with degrees from Duke and was the Chancellor at University of Kentucky Medical Center for years. His wife is in charge of the Supervised Ministry program on Asbury's Kentucky campus.

Woohoo! Yay for Dr. Holsinger! Another person putting ATS on the map!

Here's the link to the story in today's Lexington Herald-Leader:
http://www.kentucky.com/454/story/79500.html

Oh, the joys of pregnancy...

Not much to blog about these days, but I didn't want to keep seeing Bill's obituary as the most recent blog entry. So I thought I'd share about some of the good and bad aspects of pregnancy. For those of you who have "been there, done that", you can remember your days as the Goodyear blimp. For those of you who haven't, this will give you a good idea of what happens to some of us.

First, the good stuff:

• I usually get first preference for the bathroom if there's a line.
• I had a great excuse to buy a whole new wardrobe.
• I can blame mood swings, food cravings, and voracious hunger on the baby.
• I'm constantly amazed at what God is doing and has done in creating this child.
• I got to register for gifts again...even though almost none of them are for me. :)
• People are very solicitous and concerned about whether I'm getting enough rest, how swollen my ankles are, how stressed I am, etc.
• Feeling Susanna (the baby) move inside me is INCREDIBLE.
• We made our mothers and my maternal grandmother happy.

Next is the not-so-good stuff. Before I get to this list, all0w me to say that I know several people who, for one reason or another, have not been able to conceive a child. I am very aware how blessed I am to be able to get pregnant, and to do so fairly quickly (five months after ending birth control). I know there are many women who would give all their limbs to be in my position. I also believe that Susanna is worth all the following symptoms/drawbacks and more. Having said that, there are some drawbacks to pregnancy:

• It's hard to find maternity clothes, especially if you're not a size S (small) or M (medium). I'm currently trying to find a dress for Brent & Kylee's wedding, but not having much luck. There's literally nothing in my size...
• People are just plain inconsiderate/rude sometimes. They think they have the right to make comments like, "You're due in September? Is it twins?"
• My boobs have gotten ENORMOUS. James, of course, loves it. I don't. I was perfectly happy with my pre-pregnancy chest size; I've now gone up TWO cup sizes. By the time I give birth, I'm afraid that I'll be wearing a ZZ cup or something...
• Stretch marks. 'Nuff said.
• Braxton-Hicks (aka "practice") contractions. They began about three weeks ago, and are sometimes downright uncomfortable. Not painful, just uncomfortable.
• My sheer bulk...and it will get worse. I can no longer squat down without needing help to get up and rolling over in bed is tough.
• I find myself constantly worrying over every little symptom and what it could mean. At first, I was scared of miscarriage. Now that she's viable (barely), I'm scared of premature labor, stillbirth, or other complications. Of course, once she's born I'll be worrying about her for the rest of my life. No relief on that front...
• I feel like an invalid sometimes. I used to be able to run around all day and not feel really tired for eight hours or so. Now, if I'm active for more than a couple hours, I get winded. I also can't stand up for more than 30 minutes before I feel the need to sit down.
• HORMONES. I find myself crying or getting mad at the drop of a hat sometimes.
• No roller coasters for me this summer. :(
• No trip to Zurich, Switzerland this year. James was going to present a paper at a conference, and I was going to tag along. Maybe in a couple of years...

After Saturday, just 14 more weeks to go! Hopefully this weekend we'll be able to go up to Lynchburg and order our nursery furniture. It can take up to ten weeks to arrive, so we want to order it soon. Our plan is to use a Pack 'n' Play with bassinet for the first few months, so she can sleep in our room. But I would like to have the nursery set up before she arrives.

Bill's Obituary

From the May 14 edition of the Indianapolis Star:

William E. Elick 83, Indianapolis, died May 12th at his home. He was born in South Bend, IN the son of Victor H. and Bernice E. (Scheuerman) Elick. He retired from the U.S. Army in 1972 after 29 years of service; he was a Sergeant Major. After retirement, he worked as a supervisor of the Overpayment Benefits Division at the Indiana Employment Security Division for 16 years, retiring in 1993. He was a member of American Legion Post # 276, Beech Grove, IN. Survivors: wife, Nina (Ladd) Elick; daughters, Kaye (Jackson) Sturgis, Patricia (Ronald) Danforth, and Diana (Kevin) Yutmeyer; sons, William (Judith) Elick Jr. and Victor (Marilyn) Elick; step-daughter, Diann Fulton; step-son, James (Patricia) Money; sister, Roberta Wray; 21 grandchildren; 15 great-grandchildren; and several nieces and nephews. He was preceded in death by his first wife, Ruth, in 1992; brother, Floyd Elick; brother-in-law, Ernest "Buddy" Wray; step-son-in-law, William Fulton; and granddaughter, Autum Danforth. Services will be held at 11 a.m. Wednesday, May 16 at Flanner & Buchanan Washington Park East Community Life Center. Visitation will be from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday, May 15 at the community life center. Entombment will be in Washington Park East Cemetery. Contributions may be made to AMVETS.

Grief and Surrealism

Bill died this morning at 8:50. He had a couple spurts of alertness last night and early this morning. Apparently, around 7am, he became so still and his breathing so shallow that everyone was positive that he had died. However, when the hospice nurse arrived to pronounce death, she heard his heart still beating...very faintly and slowly. That continued for another hour or so, before she stopped hearing a heartbeat and pronounced him dead.

Nina was present when Bill died, as were many other family members. He died in bed, knowing that he was surrounded by people who loved him. Now our focus has turned to Nina and supporting her as much as possible in the next few days. Please keep her in your prayers, as well as the rest of the family.

I'm discovering that there is a surreal element to grief. There are times when it just seems like nothing's changed and then all of a sudden it hits me that Bill will never poke fun at me again or make us pancakes in the morning. I went into the bedroom and saw his body, and instantly knew that Bill was no longer there. All that was left was a shell, and I really had no attachment to the shell. I took a peek and ducked out of the room. But when the folks came from the funeral home (they came in a minivan with the seats folded down, btw) and took him out on the gurney, suddenly it hit me what that shell meant; that I'd never see Bill again. I desperately wanted to see him alive again, just once more. At that point, I broke down and sobbed in James' arms.

I'm trying to view my grief in the proper perspective; I've known Bill as a daughter-in-law for six years. Nina has known him since she was four years old; first as a sister-in-law/friend, and later as a wife (long story there---it's kosher, though). James has known him all his life, first as an uncle by marriage and later as a stepfather. Bill's five children, 20-some grandchildren, and 15 or so great-grandchildren haven't known a life without him. In other words, I haven't known Bill for very long at all. If my grief is so painful at times, what must they be feeling?

In short, this is teaching me what an absolute novice I am to the intricacies of dying and grief.

Bill Update

Right after I posted the previous entry, I got a call from James. Bill is not just declining, he's NOSEDIVING right now. The hospice nurse has highly advised the family to get to his bedside ASAP. After contemplating my options, I decided that it would be better if I bought a one-way ticket from Raleigh to Indianapolis, since James is already out there and I didn't want to have to drive through the night. I'm leaving at 6:00 a.m. and arriving at 9:30 a.m. Please continue to pray for Bill and Nina and the rest of the family. Especially pray that I, along with all of Bill's children and in-laws, will have a chance to say good-bye to him. He is a very loved man.

I'm thanking God for my church leaders...everyone has been so supportive, loving, and accepting of the fact that I'm having to leave town on such short notice, especially on a Friday. I was able to get everything covered within an hour. The only thing left is the bulletin, which I'll do once I finish packing.

I still haven't done a funeral...but I think that's going to change very soon.

Prayer Request and Reflections

Please keep Bill (James' stepdad) and Nina (James' mom) in your prayers...fervently. Bill has been fighting cancer for over eight years now. Over the past week, we (meaning the family) have had to accept the fact that the battle is nearing it's end. In other words, Bill is dying. He is receiving Hospice care and from my conversations with him over the years, he's ready to die whenever it's his time. Our prayers at this point are focused more on him "dying well" (meaning peacefully, with little pain, and surrounded by love) than on any hope of healing. Of course, James and I are worried about Nina and her grieving process. James is actually in Indiana right now and will drive home tomorrow. Please pray that Nina will receive strength and comfort from God in this time...whether that comfort comes supernaturally or from fellow humans.

We've known this was going to happen for years...and God has granted Bill (and us) several extensions on time. The best one...and the true miracle...began in fall 2003. The doctors found a cancerous spot on Bill's lung and gave him 18-24 months. While we were up for Thanksgiving that year, we went to a worship service and people laid hands on Bill and prayed for him. We also began talking about Bill's wishes for the funeral, and his desire to see James get his PhD. The cancer didn't spread. In fact, the doctors couldn't detect it...although they knew it was in there somewhere. It lay dormant for over three years...until this winter, when it began to rear its ugly head again. A round of radiation did nothing to stop it...and Bill and Nina deciding to stop fighting and focus on the time he has left. He's starting declining so rapidly; just two weeks ago we were wondering if he'd still be alive when Susanna arrived. Now we're wondering if he'll be alive for the planned family reunion over Father's Day weekend. Only God knows; we're just staying ready to dash to Indiana when the time comes.

The awesome thing is...that three-year "reprieive" has allowed Bill to see so many things happen in his family. Two weddings have taken place, three babies have been born, and one (Susanna) is on the way. James defended his dissertation and received his PhD. Children have grown older and been impacted greatly by "Uncle Bill/Grandpa". Most importantly, Bill has been able to see God working in powerful ways in his life, and gives Him all the credit.

So, please pray...for Bill, for Nina, and for the rest of his family, including me and James.

Those Goats Aren't So Bad After All...

My younger brother, Bart, is involved in a ministry for individuals with disabilities called Capernaum. It's under the "umbrella" of Young Life, and Bart absolutely loves it. Anyway, the leader of the Capernaum Hampton Roads group (that Bart's involved in) wrote a cool story about Bart on his blog. Check it out:

http://koehlerville.blogspot.com/2007/05/bart-goats-milk.html

The title of this blog will make more sense when you read the story. :)

I'm Biblically Literate...

...which is a good thing for a pastor to be!

You know the Bible 100%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

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