Coming Out of the Closet

With apologies to any of my GLBT friends...I'm coming out of the personality closet and claiming my true identity...

Hi, I'm Patti, I'm 34 years old, and I'm an extravert.

I've always claimed to be an introvert for two reasons: first, I'm fairly shy and quiet in new situations, second, I've always shown up as an introvert on personality profiles. Therefore, I accepted that I was an introvert, and functioned accordingly.

However, I've been doing some self-examining recently, and I realized a few things (Side note: keep in mind that the definition of an introvert is someone who gains energy from being alone, while an extravert gains energy from being with others). First, I love being with people, meeting new people, and conversing with people. I may be kind of shy and quiet at first, but that has more to do with self-confidence (and a lack thereof) than desire. Second, I've found that I become excited and energized after interacting with people. I am happiest when I have a chance to interact with people (besides my family) on a regular basis. I was lonely while serving St. John's because I felt so isolated and had to seek out other people. I love hospital ministry or the thought of doing ministry in a larger congregation because there are people around me with whom I can interact.

So, I did an experiment that lasted a few weeks. First, I paid close attention to how I felt before and after interacting with a lot of people, especially on Sunday mornings. On March 13, I was the liturgist for the 8:15 service, attended Sunday School, and then went to the 11:00 service. On the way home, my emotional energy level was higher than it had been four hours prior. The big test was this weekend, when I had an all-day Church Council retreat on Saturday and another long morning on Sunday (I was again the liturgist for 8:15). A lot of interaction with people, including some heavy discussions. I felt intellectually tired at the end of Saturday's retreat, but my energy level was still high. Ditto for Sunday morning. That sealed the deal for me.

So, I'm an extravert. Or, at the very least, a borderline extravert/introvert. It's pretty amazing to realize something like that when you're in your mid-thirties. But I think it will help to inform my future ministry, and how I function in ministry.

Sermon Responses: What Preachers Like to Hear

As a preacher, I essentially have two audiences, for lack of a better term. First and foremost, I need to be faithful to God and God's Word. God is the one that I want to please, to whom I want to bring glory and honor. However, I also preach to a congregation (right now my limited preaching experiences are at Oak Grove), and they need to be part of the equation, also. The main purpose of my preaching is to move individuals and a congregation into a deeper relationship with God and move them to action as a result of that deeper relationship with God.

You know what comment I HATE to hear after I preach? "I really enjoyed your sermon." I understand what the person is trying to communicate, but I don't spend hours praying over scripture and preparing a sermon so they can ENJOY it. A good runner-up  is "nice sermon". I don't want my sermon to be NICE, I want it to be effective. I imagine most preachers feel the same way (fellow preachers, feel free to comment).

So, here are some alternative comments to give to your pastor as you shake his/her hand on Sunday morning:

• "That sermon gave me a lot to think about/pray about."
• "I felt God speaking to me through your sermon."
• "Your point/story/quote about ___________ really struck a chord with me." 
• "My toes feel kinda sore" (meaning the sermon hit a sore spot with you)
• "My heart feels strangely warmed" (it's a Methodist thing...you felt God's love in a powerful way)
• "I guess I should have worn body armor this morning, huh?" (something I said to my pastor a month or so ago
• "Your sermon made me cry" (I've said that to my pastor, too)

And if you REALLY want to make your pastor's day, call or e-mail him/her later in the week and share some details about how the sermon impacted you. Or ask to meet with him/her so they can help you process what you think God is telling you. I'm telling you, we preachers eat that stuff up!

What a preacher most wants to hear is that the Holy Spirit worked through their sermon to touch your life somehow. That's really what makes a sermon effective...not simply excellent Biblical interpretation (although that's part of it), great delivery, or fantastic illustrations. Those can make a "nice sermon", but as a preacher, I want to know that God is using my sermons to touch peoples' lives and draw them into a deeper relationship with Him.

What if the sermon really didn't do much for you? Then I suggest not saying anything about the sermon as you shake your pastor's hand. Instead, wish them a great week or make some other comment. That week, you can give them a call and offer more specific feedback. Constructive criticism can be helpful, to us, as long as it's done in the right spirit:

• "I wish you would have spent more time exploring ______________"
• "Your sermon seemed a bit disorganized" (and then give examples)
• "That sermon wasn't up to your usual standard. Is everything OK?"

So, people of the congregation, next Sunday, don't tell your pastor "nice sermon."  Give them a little bit more than that, OK? 

Sermon for Ash Wednesday

Would you like to read the sermon I preached yesterday at Oak Grove's Ash Wednesday service? My pastor was kind enough to let me preach. He was at the service, but still let me preach. Now that he's heard me preach, we'll see if he'll let me ever preach again. (:  The sermon is after the jump.