But I Had Such a Fun Time! I Really Did!

This successful experience was brought to you by the grace of God, a stubborn will, and five units of Clinical Pastoral Education. 

I have preached in many contexts, not all of them pleasant. I have preached while pregnant, with painful Braxton-Hicks contractions rippling through my body. I have preached while in the throes of bronchitis (also pregnant, I should add). I have preached while a congregation glared poisonous daggers at me during the whole service (that was my next-to-last Sunday at St. John's). I have literally preached to the choir, when they were the only ones who showed up for a Maundy Thursday service.

However, I had never preached while suffering from the stomach flu. Until yesterday, that is**.

I woke up yesterday feeling kind of queasy and with some symptoms of mild stomach upset. I assumed they were due to nerves, because I had been putting myself under an unreasonable amount of stress about this sermon, service, etc. I ate some breakfast, got dressed, and headed to church.

The first service went well, but I was still feeling kind of queasy, so I ate a bagel and drank some water. It's a good thing I didn't eat the Hostess cupcake I received from a very nice gentleman who attended the 8:15 service (I still haven't eaten it, but I WILL, because I LOVE those things). I still felt queasy.

I went into the worship space for the 11:00 service to pray, re-read my sermon, and prepare for worship. Around 10:15, I began to have THAT FEELING. You know, when the queasiness turns into the I'M GONNA PUKE feeling. So, I walked very quickly to the ladies' room (which was mercifully empty), locked myself in a stall, and promptly expelled the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

I felt somewhat better, but found myself in a new predicament: was I sick, or was this just nerves? And if I was sick, then what should I do? My instinct was that I was coming down with the stomach flu, because I had NEVER EVER thrown up as a result of nerves. I also knew that James was not feeling great (and was, in fact, staying at home because he wasn't feeling well), so it was possible that I had caught whatever he had.

I did two things: first, I asked God to please hold off any further symptoms until the service was over and I was home. Next, I posted something on my Face*book status, asking others to pray for the same. Then I continued preparing for worship. After all, it was 10:30 by this point. I figured that as long as I could get up and down from the stage and stand to deliver my sermon, there was no reason for me not to finish what I had started. I had brought some mouthwash and used that, and sanitized my hands very very well.

And it worked. I compartmentalized the queasiness (hardly even felt it, really), did a reasonable job with the service, and headed home. Within an hour of returning home, I was shivering with a fever and unable to keep down even Pedialyte. That continued for the rest of the afternoon and evening. James (who was also miserable, as was Susanna) went out and bought some Gatorade and ginger ale. The Gatorade stayed down, and I began feeling better.

We're all better today and even eating solid food again. And I really really enjoyed preaching yesterday...I had forgotten just how much I missed it.

**Really, I wasn't THAT sick during the morning hours. It didn't get bad until I got home. But "I preached with the stomach flu" sounds good, doesn't it?

Three is (not so much) a Magic Number

I included the above video so in case you've never heard the song "Three Is A Magic Number" by Schoolhouse Rock, you can be properly educated. My tenth grade English teacher used to play this for us frequently. Why? I don't know. He just did.

So, Susanna has been Three for almost three months. I have heard many conflicting reports about Three. Many of my friends warned me about how awful their children were at Three, even worse than at Two. Still others assured me that Three wasn't that bad because you can REASON with a three-year-old. And many people told me that it was a really fun age. Based on these varying reports, I had no idea what to expect.

They were all right.

There are many wonderful, wonderful things that I'm enjoying about having a child who is Three. First, Susanna's speech has improved by light years in the past four or five months. She can easily carry on a conversation, regularly uses four or five-word sentences, and appears to add new vocabulary on a daily basis. She's started to sing songs she learns in church, at school, or that she hears on the radio/TV. Second, her imagination has just taken off in the past few months. She loves to dress up and engage in pretend play. One of the games we play (I've dubbed it "Showtime") involves us taking turns performing for each other. She also likes taking turns singing "Happy Birthday" and blowing out imaginary candles on a cake made out of Play-Doh. Third, she is much more aware of the world around her, and is beginning to have (somewhat) significant relationships outside of our family with her teachers, classmates, and others. This may be unique to Susanna, but she's also been very affectionate with us and with Greg. It's kinda cute.

But then there are the negative aspects of Three, and these negative aspects make me glad that I have nine guaranteed Susanna-free hours a week. First, she is extremely stubborn and always wants things done HER way. If she doesn't get her way, then there is Great Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth. Or, she simply refuses to do what we ask her to do, regardless of the consequences. Exhibit A: dinner. Our rule is that she needs to eat at least two bites of her dinner (which is exactly what we're having for dinner, no exceptions) if she's going to watch TV later. However, she keeps on refusing to eat and THEN throwing a temper tantrum when she asks for "Elmo" (aka "Sesame Street") and we tell her "no" because she didn't eat. Second, she seems to think that everything is hers, and we constantly hear the word "mine" be applied to things like my iPhone, James' iPad, Greg's toys, etc. Any correction to the contrary is met with Great Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth. Finally, she is alternately independent and dependent, both to great extremes. One moment she is insisting that she brush her teeth (badly) without assistance. The next moment she refuses to go down the stairs without me by her side and holding her hand. And again, any time I try and either help her/encourage independence (depending on the situation), there is....(all together, now) Great Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth.

So, I think the best description for Three comes from Charles Dickens: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Here's hoping Four will be better...

Pack The Knife - Capitol Steps

I'm tired and don't have much energy for posting, plus I have cleaning to do. Enjoy this video, especially if you're traveling by air this holiday week. This video is from 2008, but it's still funny...

Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Pastors

Hysterical cat video

You have to check out this video from YouTube. It features a cat getting a bath in a "PetSpa" machine-sort of like a washing machine for pets. James and I were dying of laughter while we were watching it. I wouldn't consider it animal cruelty, but it's obvious that the kitty didn't enjoy it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smwh1_XbnLo

In other news, Simon had an "orchiectomy" on Tuesday. That is, he got neutered. They sent him home with a list of admonitions for the next week or so. My favorite, "no strenuous play, running, or jumping." Great...he's a four month old puppy with a canine brother, and I'm supposed to prevent him from strenuous play? Sigh...

Harry Potter # 7...the title is finally revealed!!

I've been a huge Harry Potter fan for about five years now, ever since I went to see the movie to decide for myself whether or not the books are "bad." I own all four DVDs and all six books, which tells you what my decision was on that matter. So I've been anxiously waiting for JK Rowling to announce the title of book #7, which will be the final book in the series. The "magical" event happened today. The title for the seventh book is:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Sounds ominous, doesn't it? Now that we know the title, we have to wait for the announcement of the release date. A lot of people have suggested July 2007 as a possible release date, but the likelihood of that happening is getting slimmer and slimmer. Come on, Jo. We've been waiting for two years! The suspense is killing us.

Once I know the release date, the second thing I'm doing (after I pre-order the book from Amazon) is scheduling a couple days of vacation in order to read it...about three times!

Did AARP lower its age requirement???

For the record, I am 30 years old. Three decades. I was born in 1976. I have 20 years before I hit 50. Last time I checked, that was the benchmark age for AARP. So you'll understand why I was a bit disturbed with this letter I received today from AARP:
"Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible..."

This included an application for membership.
What crack are they smoking?? Are they doing early recruitment or something? And why the heck didn't James get one of these...he's ten months older than me!!!

Ha! I knew it!

About three years ago, I took a Spiritual Formation class in seminary. As part of the class, we had to read the book Your Personality and the Spiritual Life by Reg Johnson. I soon figured out that I was an INFP. So today I took a personality test and guess what I came up with...

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's" Your Personality Type?

300 Million Americans!

The Census Bureau announced that as of this morning (October 17), the U.S. population passed the 300 million mark. Of course, that's an estimate, but it's probably fairly accurate.

Woohoo! Go and do something to celebrate.

Some Things About Me...

My friend Kylee sent this to me. I thought it would be fun to fill out...

4 Things About Me: Patti

Things you may not have known about me.....

A) Four jobs I have had in my life..

1. Chick-Fil-A cashier
2. Temp agency employee
3. Librarian
4. Pastor

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. "Anne of Green Gables"
2. "Anne of Avonlea"
3. "Harry Potter and ____" (you name which one)
4. "Lord of the Rings" trilogy

C) Four places I have lived:

1. Villa Park, Ill
2. Memphis, TN
3. Haleiwa, HI
4. Boca Raton, FL

D) Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. "Family Guy"
2. "Desperate Housewives" (sad, I know. My dad got me hooked)
3. "Judging Amy"
4. "Everybody Loves Raymond"

E) Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Kaui, Hawaii
2. France
3. Chincoteague, Virginia
4. Heidelberg, Germany

F) Websites I visit daily/ or frequently:

1. http://www.registerbee.com/
2. http://www.gmail.com/
3. http://www.textweek.com/
4. http://www.myspace.com/

G) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Pizza (either homemade or from a good pizza place)
2. Thai
3. Indian
4. Cajun

H) 4 places I'd rather be right now:

1. Bed (what can I say? I like to sleep...)
2. Taize, France (most peaceful place I've ever been)
3. Hawaii
4. Snuggled on a sofa, reading a novel

I) Four things I¹d like to do before I die:

1. Have children
2. Go on a cruise
3. Live in one house, in one town, for at least five years (has not happened in my adult life)
4. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary with James

25 "Accomplishments" in 12 months

I "stole" this from my friend Tamara. Thought I'd give it a shot...

1. Got job a Chick-Fil-A after realizing that no one would hire me for only ten months (and with a liberal arts education to boot!)

2. Served as a foster parent for three months to a very needy purebred Labrador Retriever named Terra.

3. Underwent a "Level 2" psychological evaluation for the UM ordination process.

4. Received approval from my District Committee on Ordained Ministry to proceed as a candidate for probationary elder.

5. Survived a Christmas season at Chick-Fil-A.

6. Submitted all my papers, videos, forms, etc for probationary membership.

7. Won an award for highest sales among full-time employees at Chick-Fil-A.

8. Lost 5 lbs in February (due to the stomach flu, but I still lost the weight...)

9. Traveled to Blackstone, Virginia for probationary interviews. Approved by two committees (Call and Personal Growth/Development) and "continued" by two others (Theology and Practice)

10. Got the flu for the first time since childhood. Spent three days in bed, went back to work, and got bronchitis. Spent month of April feeling like a 90 year-old chainsmoker.

11. Appointed to serve St. John's UMC in Danville, Virginia as a Licensed Local Pastor.

12. Listed first-ever house with realtor; had contract within three weeks.

13. Moved from Lexington, Kentucky to Morrisville, North Carolina with a scared dog and a husband recovering from food poisoning.

14. Successfully completed 10-day Licensing School, passing everything with flying colors.

15. Sold first-ever house and broke even on the sale.

16. Attended Annual Conference for the first time ever. Licensed as a Local Pastor.

17. Moved 90% of stuff from Morrisville, North Carolina to Danville, Virginia.

18. Began first full-time ministry job as the pastor of St. John's UMC.

19. Signed up for exciting benefits like Life Insurance, Retirement, Disability, and Accidental Death & Dismemberment. Our financial future is fairly secure.

20. Discovered that God was right all along; I love being a pastor, and am good at it.

21. Celebrated fifth wedding anniversary

22. Went to Chincoteague on first vacation in four years; Woody went on vacation to Lucky's Pet Resort.

23. Learned to operate a riding lawn mower

24. Made it to the age of 30 without breaking a bone, having surgery, or contracting a major illness (knock on wood)

25. Completed three full months as a pastor (as of September 28) and still love my job and my congregation!

Happy Birthday, Alade Tokuta!

He's not as famous or as old as "W"...but he still has a birthday today, July 7. Birthday wishes go out to Dr. Alade Tokuta, chair of the Math & Computer Science Department at NCCU. Yes, he is James' boss. :)

I'm off to Durham this morning to get some more stuff from the apartment and then meet James at NCCU for err...SOMETHING at 1:00 p.m. Then we head back to Danville, because tonight we have the orientation for new clergy on the district.

Tomorrow I have to finish up my sermon...producing something wonderful every week is TOUGH!

Guess who's 60 today???

That's right! Today, July 6, is President Bush's 60th birthday.

Happy Birthday, "W"!


It's funny...15 years or so ago, 60 seemed really old. However, now that both my parents have passed the 6-0 mark (and my dad will hit 70 in September!), 60 doesn't seem old anymore. In fact, it actually seems somewhat young.

Name Game???

OK, my friend Tamara had this on her blog, and I thought it was hysterical. So here goes...

1. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite candy) : Marjorie Snickers
2. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME (first initial of first name followed by izzle", first two or three letters of your last name follwowed by "dizzle") : Pizzle Modizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color, favorite animal) : Cranberry Dog
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice) : Pat-Ett Woo Woo
5. SUPERHERO NAME ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive) : The Cranberry Camry

The above was based on my name. Now let's try James', just for fun:

1. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite candy) : Viola Crunch
2. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME (first initial of first name followed by izzle", first two or three letters of your last name follwowed by "dizzle") : Jizzle Modizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color, favorite animal) : Blue Dog
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice) : Jam-Add Woo Woo
5. SUPERHERO NAME ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive) : The Blue Escape

Woody Goes to College!

Woody made a visit to NCCU this weekend. He guarded James' office door (left), sniffed around the office, and even sat in a chair to learn some important math/computer science concepts!

Happy Aldersgate Day!!

As a United Methodist pastor, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that today is the anniversary of John Wesley's (the founder of Methodism) "Aldersgate experience." Read the following excerpt from his May 24, 1738 Journal entry:

"In the evening, I went very unwillingly to a society in Aldersgate Street, where one was reading Luther's Preface to the Epistle to the Romans. About a quarter before nine, while he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death."

Before the above experience, Wesley was just any old Oxford don and Anglican priest. After that experience, he became a phenomenal preacher, leader, teacher, and administrator. He founded the Methodist movement in England, which eventually moved across the ocean to America. Many scholars have said that the Methodist movement prevented England from having an equivalent of the French Revolution.

NEVER, NEVER underestimate the power that God can work through a human life!!!

Patti's Hawaiian name

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Kalea Mily

What's" your Hawaiian Name?

I've always liked her...

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

Yeah! I'm a U.S. Citizen!

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?