Random Ramblings, Fifth Disease Edition

• Susanna, we are pretty sure, has Fifth Disease. She started seeming feverish and congested on Thursday and woke up after her nap on Friday with this red rash on her cheeks. Kind of like someone slapped her, and that's a trademark sign of Fifth Disease. The rash is still present and she's still very weepy and snotty. 
• Greg got sick yesterday, with congestion and a fever. He barely slept last night and has been cranky and snotty all day today. I'm hoping that the combination of bath (with VapoBath), steam treatment, and a vaporizer in his room will ensure a slightly more restful night for both of us. 
• My husband went to Target, drove through Wendy's, and brought back a Frosty for both of us!
• My mom had a VERY SIGNIFICANT birthday on Thursday. It was really a victory, since this past year has been so hard and so long for her. And for us...but mostly for her. She's done with chemo, is now in radiation, and should be DONE in a month. We are fully expecting the score will be Mom 1, Cancer 0. Thanks be to God. 
• I am currently planning Greg's first birthday party. He'll be a year old on February 9. I can't believe that my baby is almost one!

Who I Am, Where I've Been, and Where I'm Going

Yesterday was the Sunday we celebrate the Baptism of Our Lord-when John baptized Jesus in the Jordan River. As part of the sermon, my pastor included a video from "The Lion King" on Broadway, using it as an illustration for God being within us, and reminded us who (and Whose) we are through our baptism. It was powerful, although if it had been me I would have used the above clip from the movie. BUT, he didn't ask my opinion and the Broadway clip definitely "worked" and may have been more relevant for other people. After all, there were several hundred others in attendance, and the Broadway show just had a one-month run in Norfolk.

What my pastor does not know is that I have used specific clips from "The Lion King" to illustrate my continued healing from Danville-gate. Go, Holy Spirit.

God is definitely doing a new thing within me. Even as recently as two months ago, I was actively searching for chaplain jobs and using the phrase "if I ever go back to the [local] church" as a pastor, with a big emphasis on the "if." And since my main focus in searching for chaplain jobs was fulfilling service requirements for ordination versus actual vocational fulfillment, I was sort of hazy and unfocused in regards to my future. I'm really not convinced that I'm cut out to be a SAHM for the long-term (more on that another time), but at that point (only two months ago) I had no interest in going back to the local church as a pastor.

Then, God started nudging me each Sunday through my pastor's sermons (that Holy Spirit can be really pesky). Then, in early December, the opportunity to preach last week pretty much fell into my lap. As I prepared the sermon, I began to remember how much I enjoyed it. And on, and on, and on. Finally, I knew what I had to do. I made an appointment with my District Superintendent (who oversees all the clergy on the Norfolk District) to discern/discuss the possibility of me becoming a pastor again. Together, we agreed that I'm not quite ready this year (Greg is still very young and I also think I may have presented myself as more fragile than I am), but that by next year (July 2012), I should definitely be ready to once again be Pastor Patti.

My plan over the next year is to remain on family leave, do whatever I can to finish healing, to gain more experience, to increase my confidence, and to basically do whatever necessary to begin my next appointment 100% ready to be Pastor Patti. I'm fairly certain that our current church is a good place in which to do that, and of course I have other resources available to me, as well.

The above video pretty much illustrates what I've been experiencing over the past six weeks and where I am right now.

And someday, hopefully 18 months or so from now (NOTE: the United Methodist system works on annual appointments from July 1 to June 30, so unless something literally falls into my lap, it will be 18 months. I've already mailed in my forms for family leave), I will once again be a pastor and once again be shepherding the people of God. Or, to keep using "The Lion King", I will be climbing Pride Rock and roaring:

Happy Epiphany!

This is a video of one of my favorite Christmas songs ever, and one that's fairly obscure. My college choir sung this back in the fall of 1997, and I fell in love with it. Enjoy!

But I Had Such a Fun Time! I Really Did!

This successful experience was brought to you by the grace of God, a stubborn will, and five units of Clinical Pastoral Education. 

I have preached in many contexts, not all of them pleasant. I have preached while pregnant, with painful Braxton-Hicks contractions rippling through my body. I have preached while in the throes of bronchitis (also pregnant, I should add). I have preached while a congregation glared poisonous daggers at me during the whole service (that was my next-to-last Sunday at St. John's). I have literally preached to the choir, when they were the only ones who showed up for a Maundy Thursday service.

However, I had never preached while suffering from the stomach flu. Until yesterday, that is**.

I woke up yesterday feeling kind of queasy and with some symptoms of mild stomach upset. I assumed they were due to nerves, because I had been putting myself under an unreasonable amount of stress about this sermon, service, etc. I ate some breakfast, got dressed, and headed to church.

The first service went well, but I was still feeling kind of queasy, so I ate a bagel and drank some water. It's a good thing I didn't eat the Hostess cupcake I received from a very nice gentleman who attended the 8:15 service (I still haven't eaten it, but I WILL, because I LOVE those things). I still felt queasy.

I went into the worship space for the 11:00 service to pray, re-read my sermon, and prepare for worship. Around 10:15, I began to have THAT FEELING. You know, when the queasiness turns into the I'M GONNA PUKE feeling. So, I walked very quickly to the ladies' room (which was mercifully empty), locked myself in a stall, and promptly expelled the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

I felt somewhat better, but found myself in a new predicament: was I sick, or was this just nerves? And if I was sick, then what should I do? My instinct was that I was coming down with the stomach flu, because I had NEVER EVER thrown up as a result of nerves. I also knew that James was not feeling great (and was, in fact, staying at home because he wasn't feeling well), so it was possible that I had caught whatever he had.

I did two things: first, I asked God to please hold off any further symptoms until the service was over and I was home. Next, I posted something on my Face*book status, asking others to pray for the same. Then I continued preparing for worship. After all, it was 10:30 by this point. I figured that as long as I could get up and down from the stage and stand to deliver my sermon, there was no reason for me not to finish what I had started. I had brought some mouthwash and used that, and sanitized my hands very very well.

And it worked. I compartmentalized the queasiness (hardly even felt it, really), did a reasonable job with the service, and headed home. Within an hour of returning home, I was shivering with a fever and unable to keep down even Pedialyte. That continued for the rest of the afternoon and evening. James (who was also miserable, as was Susanna) went out and bought some Gatorade and ginger ale. The Gatorade stayed down, and I began feeling better.

We're all better today and even eating solid food again. And I really really enjoyed preaching yesterday...I had forgotten just how much I missed it.

**Really, I wasn't THAT sick during the morning hours. It didn't get bad until I got home. But "I preached with the stomach flu" sounds good, doesn't it?

I Brought The Word, and a Side of Stomach Flu

Both services went as well as I could have expected them to go. Thank you for your prayers.

I came down with the stomach flu this morning, fought off the worst of it, and succumbed within an hour of getting home.

Feel Like Reading a Sermon?

My sermon for this Sunday is after the jump. Read at your own risk. Due to unforseen circumstances, I am now preaching at both the 8:15 AND the 11:00 services. Please pray for me tomorrow. I'm well-prepared, I've done this before, and I know the Holy Spirit has my back (and my front, and all of me), but there's a certain nervousness that comes from a) not having done this is 18 months and b) not having preached in this setting. I have a feeling that a number of people at the 11:00 service are going to be thinking, "huh? Her? I thought she was just some boring housewife. Wait...she's a PREACHER?"

So, please pray, especially that I will be able to focus first and foremost on pleasing and glorifying God, and not anyone else.