To Churches: Do You Really Want New People?

In seminary, I took a class titled "Ethics of Hospitality." It was awesome, and really challenged and changed my view on Christian hospitality...inside and outside the church. Trust me, this stuff goes beyond coffee and donuts and being friendly. A great book on this subject (actually written by my professor) is Making Room by Christine Pohl.

Anyway, today my husband, daughter, and I visited another congregation. Our friends' son was being baptized, and we went to support them and celebrate with them. The actual baptism was lovely, but the rest of the experience left much to be desired. Upon arriving, we followed signs around the outside of the building directing us to the sanctuary. Upon arriving at that entrance, we found that the door was locked. It was 10:45 and the service began at 11. OK...so we went around to another entrance and found it unlocked. We walked through a very long hallway to the sanctuary door. There were no greeters and we hadn't seen any bulletins (when I asked a few minutes later, I found a few on a table in the hallway. Apparently the rest were in the narthex...right near the locked door. And yes, I did tell someone the door was locked.

There was very minimal interaction with the rest of the congregation (which was small---about 60 in attendance). We got a few comments on how pretty our daughter is, but that was it. No introductions or attempt to get to know us. The pastor merely shook our hand and asked us to come again...and that last part was muttered.

It was a traditional service and very subdued. I have nothing against traditional worship, as long as it doesn't feel like a funeral. This did, which is extremely sad since today was Pentecost. There was also very little attention paid to this day in the church calendar, which slightly annoyed me. They did celebrate the 55th anniversary of their church's founding, which apparently occurred the last Sunday in May.

I took my daughter to the nursery when she started fussing. There was an attendant in there with one other child, but she pretty much sat in the chair and made no attempt to actually engage Nora. There was no sign-in sheet or anything along those lines; just drop your kid and leave. I wonder if this church has a hard time finding volunteers for the nursery; many older congregations do, even though they keep saying how much they want young families.

This church sits on the corner of a major intersection in a medium-sized metropolitan area. Visibility is not an issue. They just don't seem to be making much effort towards extending hospitality towards outsiders. If I had been an unchurched seeker, then this experience may have very well turned me off when it came to church.

I've learned a lot over the past year, being a congregant instead of the pastor. The little things really do add up...it's not just a matter of inviting people to church (which is important), but it's also a matter of creating a space and an atmosphere where all are welcomed when they come through the doors. And of truly celebrating the risen Christ with joy, instead of a quasi-funeral service every week.

On the positive side, we visited my mother-in-law's church over Easter, and it was an entirely different experience. We were welcomed and drawn into conversation, the nursery was staffed and Nora was engaged, and the service (traditional in style) was joyful and vibrant. We felt a part of the worshiping community, focused on praising the God we all serve. This was a small, older congregation, but the feeling was entirely different.

OK, I'm stepping off my soapbox. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Susanna at (almost) 21 months

Susanna will be 21 months old on Friday! She's growing so fast (26 lbs last time she went to the doctor) and learning so much. She's becoming her own person, and it's bittersweet to watch it happen. She's still not walking on her own, but is able to "walk" 50 feet or so if you hold both her hands and walk with her. She has a ride-on toy that she loves to use, and we just won a 3-month family membership to the YMCA and I hope to get her in the water more often.

She is very vocal. She talks constantly, although we don't always recognize what she's saying. Here are some of her words:
-milk
-juice
-cheese
-book
-dog
-Mama
-Dada
-uh-oh
-bye-bye
-more
-shoes

There are at least 20 more, but I can't think them all off the top of my head.

She can totally feed herself now, even with stuff that requires a spoon (like pudding). She loves food and will eat almost anything, although she doesn't seem to really like strawberries. She likes to be held and cuddled, but usually only for a few minutes at a time. She and Simon are the best of friends and she sometimes feeds him her food before we catch her.

Susanna LOVES music and even "dances" sometimes. It's really cute. She's just barely beginning to have an interest in TV, but does seem to like Sesame Street. She likes being around people and is generally very happy. We do not have to worry about her ever suffering silently; we know when she's happy and when she's unhappy and she's getting much better about telling us what she needs/wants.

She loves bathtime and I usually have to take her out of the water before she's ready. She had her first haircut about two weeks ago (I'll post pics later, or check my Facebook page). Her hair is still very very curly and blonde and her eyes are still blue, although they occasionally look more hazel, depending on the day.

We're very blessed that she's been pretty healthy overall. This year, she's had a few colds, a mild case of bronchiolitis, a stomach bug, and four ear infections (one of which was really bad and caused her to run a fever). However, it could have been a lot worse, especially since she's in daycare.

Basically, Susanna is an amazing kid and we feel very blessed to be her parents. Keep praying about the walking; her MRI and bloodwork were clear, so the issue mainly seems to be low muscle tone. She's still receiving physical therapy once a week and we see the neurologist again on June 18.

RevGalBlogPals: Vacation Post

1) What did your family do for vacations when you were a child? Or did you have stay-cations at home?

We almost always went to the beach, specifically the Outer Banks in North Carolina. When we lived in Hawaii (for two years; my dad worked for a government contractor) we visited Kauai, Maui, and the Big Island. Once we went to Florida and spent 10 days on the beach and then two days at Disney World. Every other time was a different location in the Outer Banks. We would rent a beach house and do virtually nothing for a week.

2) Tell us about your favorite vacation ever:

We rented a house on Ocracoke Island, NC. It's very remote-only accessible by ferry. My dad rented a boat and went fishing every morning. I rented a bike and roamed the island. My brother played Nintendo. My mom and I checked out about 50 library books and we read them all. My dad read books when he wasn't fishing. We went to the beach each day. Extremely relaxing. I think I need to make Harry take me back there.

3) What do you do for a one-day or afternoon getaway...is there a place nearby that you escape to on a Saturday afternoon/other day off?

I personally love the beach (can you tell?) and I'm blessed enough to live about 30 minutes from the Atlantic Ocean or Chesapeake Bay. I occasionally make a solo trip to an outlet mall about 30 minutes from my hospital, and as a family we enjoy going to a very nice theme park about an hour from my house.

4) What's your best recommendation for a full-on vacation near you...what would you suggest to someone coming to your area? (Near - may be defined any way you wish!)

I live near a resort area, but I'd actually recommend Chincoteague Island, which is maybe four hours and a bridge/tunnel trip away. It's so relaxing, has a beautiful beach, and is much less congested than the big resort area that's so close to me. Plus, it's where my husband and I honeymooned, so it has sentimental appeal.

5) What's your DREAM VACATION?

I really want to go back to Hawaii. We lived there for two years (on Oahu, the main island) and left when I was 10. I'd like to fly into Honolulu and spent a few days on Oahu at the beginning and end of our vacation, recovering from jet lag and then seeing my old haunts. Then, I'd like to spend maybe two or three weeks island-hopping (Maui, Big Island, Molokai, Lanai, Kauai), with at least several days spent on Kauai, my favorite island. Of course, there are the beaches, but there's so much more to see and experience; rain forests, fern grottoes, the "grand canyon of the Pacific", waterfalls, volcanoes, etc. If I was really dreaming big, I'd include a week in Australia/New Zealand and go to Hawaii afterward. OK, I might as well admit it; if I won the lottery and money wasn't an option, I'd take a year off and travel the world. Since I don't even play the lottery, that's not likely to happen.

Handy Husband

If you've read James' post, then you know about our new heating/cooling system that was installed on Tuesday. It's one of many updates we've done in the house, but so far cost the most. We're enjoying it, though. I'll enjoy it even more when we get our next electric bill and see that it's actually saving us money.

James decided to take off this entire week, since he has the time and felt like taking a break. He's kept himself busy. On Monday, he cleaned the downstairs for me. On Tuesday and Wednesday, he did some fancy wiring for our surround sound system (he'll have to explain it to you, but there are no more loose wires and four little plugs in the wall). Yesterday, we went to Home Depot, picked out paint and a new faucet for the powder room, and he painted the room (a light beige, which looks much better than the boring white) and installed the faucet. Today, he was planning on moving everything back into the bathroom and also installing new fixtures (a towel ring and toilet paper holder) as well as hanging a painting we bought. Several months ago, we bought new decorative accessories (lotion holder, rug, wastebasket in a palm tree motif and some green hand towels) and have been using them, but they'll look even nicer with the new paint and fixtures.

We have owned this house for a year now, and while we love it, we're beginning to realize just how much of an investment home ownership is. We had an inspection and did go in with our "eyes open", but have had some surprises. The house is 15 years old, and most everything is original. Plus, the owners seemed to like to do things cheaply/badly and from all appearances, didn't do a lot of upkeep. And in our humble opinions, they had horrible decorative taste. Since buying the house, we've probably spent $15,000 on repairs/updates/equipment, most of them absolutely necessary. Here's a list off the top of my head:
-Redid half of shelving in MBR closet (our first week, a bunch of shelving fell out of the wall during the night).
-Painted Susanna's room (not necessary, but it looks nice)
-Replaced hot water heater
-Replaced garbage disposal
-Replaced thermostat
-Bought lawn mower, weedeater, and tiller
-Installed doggie door for Simon
-Replaced heating/cooling system (the biggest expense to date)
-Installed wood blinds (the house came with no window coverings)
-Replaced ice maker in fridge
-Bought carpet cleaner (not essential, but the carpets hadn't been cleaned in ages)
-Painted downstairs bathroom
-Replaced faucet in downstairs bathroom
-Replaced hardware in downstairs bathroom
-Bought new furniture for family room and dining room (I got our dining room set-table with six chairs and a china cabinet- for $500 on Craigslist!)

I'm sure James can think of more that I've forgotten. We still have lots more to do, some of it essential, some optional. On the "wish/need" list:
-Replace roof (it hopefully has five years left)
-Replace siding and trim
-Replace windows (the gas seal has already broken in them)
-Paint master bedroom, family room, master bathroom, and Susanna's bathroom.
-Replace all flooring (We want engineered hardwood downstairs; carpet on the stairs and upstairs, and tile or nice vinyl in the upstairs bathrooms. It's currently a mix of ugly vinyl, plank flooring, and carpet.)
-Replace vanities in all bathrooms.
-Replace hardware/faucets in other two bathrooms
-Renovate kitchen and replace all appliances (we want black appliances, updgraded countertops and cabinets, and a new sink). This project will be even more $$ than the heating/cooling system, so it won't happen for a while...like 5-10 years.
-New deck/terrace/patio in back. It's currently poured concrete and I'd like to upgrade to brick, flagstone, or maybe a slightly raised deck area.

Yeah, so once all that's done, we'll pretty much have the house of our dreams, which means that we'll have to move. That's what always happened with my parents, anyway...

Our next project? Painting and decorating the master bedroom. I got a great deal on some paintings at a gallery in Roanoke, and can't wait to make our bedroom a nice "getaway" for us.

New Heat & AC today

Well, the guys from 7 Services just started the heat and AC replacement. We're getting a new Carrier Infinity System with the air purifier. This should be a drastic upgrade from our alleyway-drug-deal model the prior owners(who should rot in hell for all their cheap choices!) bought original to the house. It's amazing the units lasted as long as they did, and we've had no major trouble over the past year. However, the AC leaks like an old VW Bug, and there is rust all over the place. In addition, the system doesn't work very well at heating or cooling in general. (It's slightly under-sized! Imagine that!)

We're getting the Infinity heat pump 16 SEER model, and a backup furnace for the cold winter nights that is 95% efficient. In addition, the unit is a multi-stage which saves more energy, and the blower is variable speed, saving us some more dough and keeping upstairs/downstairs a more consistent temperature. The thermostat control will almost make your breakfast for you. It control's temp, humidity(big bonus around here!!!), air quality, etc. Of course this all comes at a high price tag, but hopefully we won't have to replace it for another 20 years. In theory, we'll save $1000 this coming year in natural gas and electricity costs, so it will pay for itself in less than 10 years. In addition, there is the $1500 tax credit we'll get to claim that makes it that much more of a deal. (From my estimates, it will pay for itself in 5-7 years!) It comes with a 10 year warranty (w/labor included).

I'll report later tonight on the finished product.

Our little girl is growing up so fast! Here's a pic taken about six weeks ago. I have plenty more, but need to download/post them. Susanna has lost her love for the camera and tends to look away instead of look at the camera. It's made getting ultra-cute pics much harder.

Susanna Goes to the Neurologist

This afternoon, I took Susanna to her neurology appointment at CHKD (Children's Hospital of the Kings Daughters). James had a meeting, so he couldn't go with us. :( I was very impressed with the neurologist, Dr. N. He observed Susanna, examined her, and took a history of my pregnancy, her birth, and her development. His conclusion was that most likely, Susanna doesn't have anything that needs to be "fixed" (such as through surgery) or any major disorder. He basically diagnosed her with a developmental delay in gross motor skills...which we already knew about. He gave me two options: wait a few more months and see if she improves OR go ahead and have some diagnostic tests done to be "on the safe side." I chose option B. We've been waiting nine months already and she's had four months of physical therapy. I want to make sure there's nothing major going on, just for peace of mind.

So...he ordered a whole bunch of bloodwork (looked like every test you can have) and a MRI of her brain. The bloodwork we can do anytime; the MRI is scheduled for April 6. Since she's so young, she'll need to be sedated. We're also going to continue with her physical therapy and working with her at home. She appears to have a strong will, so maybe she's just not ready to walk, yet. I didn't walk until I was 21 months old or something like that, so maybe it's also a genetic thing. Who knows?

Regardless of her lack of mobility, she is an absolutely delightful, intelligent, and happy child. James and I feel very blessed to be her parents.

She's huge!

Susanna turned 18 months old on Sunday, and on Tuesday I took her for her 18-month check-up. She got a clean bill of health and weighs 24 lbs (50th percentile) and is 34" tall (95th percentile). Clearly, she is taking after her father in terms of height. That's fine, because I don't want her to hear short jokes for the rest of her life.

I love her pediatrician. She's easy to get along with, knows her stuff, and seems to be on the same wavelength with me. I came prepared to ask for a neurology referral, since Susanna is still not walking, even after three months of PT. However, her pedi beat me to it. As soon as I mentioned that she wasn't walking yet, the pedi said, "has she seen neurology yet? If not, I think it would be a good idea." The office called and set up an appointment right then, and we see the neurologist at CHKD (Children's Hospital of the Kings Daughters in Norfolk) next Thursday!

You may be asking, "why a neurology referral for delayed walking? Why not a developmental pediatrician or an orthopaedist?" Well...Susanna's main issue (according to her physical therapist, who I just love) is low muscle tone. And low muscle tone is a neurological issue. As far as we can tell, her bone structure is just fine. And a developmental pediatrician (while probably a good idea at some point) would probably just do an assessment and refer to neurology anyway. So...to neurology we'll go on March 12.

In other news, I'm sick again. I have a sore throat, a dry, hacking cough, and sinus congestion. Actually, James and I have been sick about 80% of the time since November. I'm blaming a big part of it on Susanna being in daycare and bringing germs home. My spending lots of time in the ER might have something to do with it, too. You know what the funny thing is? Susanna will get a minor case of the sniffles, and two days later James or I (or both of us) will come down with a cold/bronchitis/sinus infection. Or, she'll have a few messy/explosive diapers and a few days later, James/me/both of us will come down with a GI bug that kicks our butts. This is NOT FAIR. However, I am thankful that Susanna has been mostly healthy. With the exception of two ear infections and a minor case of bronchiolitis, she's been healthy this winter. Except, of course, for the sniffles and messy diapers, but I don't count those as being "sick."

Five "Forks" In the Road

I guess I was supposed to do this on Friday, but I didn't have time then, so here goes. This is something I got from RevGalBlogPals:

For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

#1 My decision to attend my undergraduate alma mater. It was during my college years, under the mentoring and influence of several friends and professors, that I sensed and answered the call to ordained ministry. It was

Welcome to Lent!

Today is Ash Wednesday, which traditionally marks the beginning of the Christian season of Lent (the 40-day period before Easter). If you are so inclined, I encourage you to read Chris Howlett's excellent blog posting on the true meaning of Lent.

Also, Joel 2:12-13 is a great passage that goes along with this day. Be sure and attend an Ash Wednesday service sometime today! Most liturgical (Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran, etc) churches will have one this evening. I'm on call tonight, but hoping that the pager will "behave" so I can go to a nearby service.

In non-sacred news, we got new blinds yesterday. They're wood and match our window sills perfectly. We only bought five (5) this time, and have 11 more to purchase. We currently have blinds in the living room, dining room, and master bedroom. We still need blinds for the kitchen, family room, Susanna's room, office, and guest room. My mom lent/gave us a few honeycomb blinds when we moved in, so our windows haven't been completely bare for the past nine months...but we've have no window coverings at all downstairs.

I think I want to decorate the master bedroom and bath with our tax refund money. We're still looking for a dining set (table that seats at least six and maybe even a china hutch) on craigslist, but will only buy one if it's fairly cheap (under $700) and in good condition.

Now I just need to find an interior decorator. Anyone know of a good one?*

*That's a joke. In case you don't know, my mom was a decorator for years. She may be retired (and therefore not have her samples and suppliers) but she still have a great sense of style, which is what I need the most. I did not inherit her gifts in that area.

Thought-Provoking Reading

I was doing some "blog surfing" yesterday and came across a blog (and a post from that blog) that very much intrigued me. I've included the link below so you can read it if you so desire.

http://locustsandhoney.blogspot.com/2009/01/on-abnormality-of-church.html

I found the post very thought-provoking. It also had a lot of truth in it. Sure, it's a little one-sided and I disagreed with parts of it (or saw it from another perspective), but I found myself agreeing with a lot of it.

I am currently committed to remaining in the United Methodist Church and in the ordination process. The denomination would have to do something really major for me to leave. The UMC is my theological home; where I feel most comfortable. I am also very committed to remaining in the local church in some sort of role. However, I am fully aware of the many major flaws in both my denomination and in the local church (regardless of denomination). There are many times when I get so frustrated and angry with either or both of the above institutions and the people in them. That's why I found myself agreeing with some of what John said. I've been hurt by the church, also. However, I still stick with the UMC/local church because I believe in God's redeeming power working through individuals and groups. No one and nothing is beyond God's redemption, but it takes faithful and receptive individuals for that redemption to occur. Simply put, I feel called to be one of those agents of God's redemption, even if I have to wait until heaven to see the fruits of my labor. Is it painful? Yes. May I change my mind later (and leave the denomination and local church altogether? Possibly, although I hope not. Is it worth the pain and frustration? Yes, and that's why I'll keep working for and praying for redemption and transformation. The day when I say, "it's not worth it" is the day that I'll turn in my credentials and start a house church. However, I sincerely hope that day never arrives.

Clinging to the Rock in the Midst of a Storm

Above is a picture (that I now know is by an artist named Jean Guichard) that my husband and I have been drooling over for some eight years now. We keep seeing it at Christian bookstores, framed very nicely and fairly expensive (which is why we haven't bought it yet) At the bottom of the picture is a verse from Psalm 27: "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?" Of course, the next verse in that Psalm is, "the Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?"

I give God all the credit for getting me through my parish experience, and for bringing me to this place of healing. In the darkest times, when I felt so very alone and couldn't reach any of my clergy friends (for I had several who really encouraged and strengthened me), I imagined God holding me and keeping me safe in the midst of the storm. The thought of God being the Light who would show me the way, and the Rock on whom I could cling when all else failed, kept me going.

I'm very blessed in that I haven't experienced a crisis of faith as a result of my parish experience. I supposed I should clarify and say that my faith in God has not suffered. My faith in God's children certainly has...and I'm sure I'll talk about that at some point. However, I seem to have been gifted with a strong faith that is not easily tested. I am supremely grateful for that gift, because it has gotten me through many a tough time. Since I am only 32, I imagine that I will experience more difficulties in life, and my faith may be tested in new and different ways. I hope that the images I've mentioned here will continue to sustain me in my faith journey.

Heading for the B.O.M.? Check this out...

If you're a UM Elder or Deacon (or aspiring to be one), then check out this link and tell me what you think about it:

http://adventures-in-revland.blogspot.com/2009/02/unofficial-guide-to-candidates.html

See Our New Poll!

James and I are expecting to receive a nice chunk of change from Uncle Sam via our tax refund. Of course, a good part of it will go into savings, since that's the smart thing to do (esp. given the economy). However, we want to use some of it towards home improvements. James suggested buying a new appliance (such as a refrigerator or oven) but I'm leaning more towards decorating a room. I'm torn between the master bedroom/bath (an oasis for us) or the dining room (so we don't have to be embarassed when friends come over and we break out the folding chairs).

So, I've added a poll on the sidebar, and I ask you to vote for your choice. I'll take that into account when deciding. For James' sake, I've also included the kitchen (although we can only afford to replace an appliance and maybe get some decorations; we can't afford a total redo). If you want to explain your vote, then you're welcome to use the "comments" section of this post.

You have two weeks to vote!

Moving on UP!

Susanna has been promoted to the toddler class at daycare! She's still not walking, but the program director agreed with us that the transition would benefit her. So, she's now in a room with kids her own age (about 14-24 months) and almost all of them are walking. She gets to do lots of fun things now, like coloring, fingerpainting, and playing outside. So far, she's adjusted pretty well. The only wrinkle has been that she's not taking long enough naps (they have a two-hour naptime, but she's only been sleeping for an hour or so). Hopefully that will change in the next week or so.

You know what we like about the promotion? Her tuition has gone down $14/week. Yay!!!

The doggie door arrives...

Earlier this week, I brought Simon his doggie door for the house. We went with a PetSafe In-Wall unit that is pretty much the standard in dog doors. The location of the dog door was somewhat a problem. The wall by the back door would be the ideal location, but there is an electrical outlet and the natural gas shutoff value for the fireplace right next to it. Hence, no dice. OK, so the next option was the kitchenette area. Well, I initially ruled it out due to the stud placements and initial checking. (The dog door is supposed to fit between the studs and is about 12" wide. The studs in the kitchenette seem to be about 8" apart.) So, we had finally thought about it and were going to put it in the dining room. Well, after I ordered the unit, I decided and hashed a plan to get it back to where I wanted in the kitchenette.

To get it there under the window, I removed the siding and foam insulation (cheapo builder!). Well, the window is narrow and already had one supporting stud, and I decide to remove the extra one in the way. Then I reinforced the window with two new studs on each side that would allow the extra clearance for the dog door. Then I put plywood on the outside instead of insulation.

After that, the installation was pretty straightforward according to the instructions. Here's a couple pictures of the final result.



One thing to note is there is about a foot between the door, so I'm going to build a platform and ramp for Simon and some of his smaller buddies. I can imagine Charlie, who is a 20lb beagle might not want to make that leap in and out.

Susanna at 17 months

Isn't she adorable? She got this outfit from Grandma Nina.

Twilight Saga...

Some of you may have heard about Stephenie Meyer's series called Twilight. There are four books in the series, and it's about vampires. That's all I'm going to tell you, so I don't ruin it for those who haven't finished/read it yet.

I began "reading" (listening on CD) these books because a) they're incredibly popular and b) two of my KY friends (hi Alyssa and Stephanie!) have raved about the books on THEIR blogs. I wasn't sure what to think, especially with the vampire element. But I'm open-minded and willing to try new things, so I checked out the first book on CD from my library (I'm frugal; I rarely buy fiction books unless I know I'm going to read them again and again and again. These books qualify, but I haven't bought them yet) and...

Oh. My. Gosh. These books are good. There's Twilight, then New Moon, then Eclipse, then Breaking Dawn (the final book). I just finished Breaking Dawn. It's taken me almost three months to get through the series because I keep having to wait until the book on CD version is available at the library (I was on the "hold list" for the last book for about two months). Then it takes two weeks of commuting to finish the book. If I had read them the traditional way, I could have been done within a week.

It's an incredible series, and very "clean" in terms of morality and ethics. It's marketed for young adults (teenagers) and written by a Mormon, which are two possible reasons. I'd rate the books at PG-13 because there are some hints of violence and teenage hormones. There are some very strong themes and messages that run through the series...love, loyalty, self-denial, family, etc.

If you liked Harry Potter at all, you will probably like this series. I'm very sad that I've read all the books...I guess I'll just have to re-read them for the fun of it.

For those who have read the series, I was fairly happy with the ending, although I can think of a few spin-off possibilities...

Miscellaneous

OK, so posting every six weeks isn't that bad, right? Right???

Allow me to provide a few updates:

• Christmas was fun, and I think that Susanna really enjoyed it. She's really not into the gift thing (yet), which took the pressure off of us. We spent Christmas Eve with my parents and James' mom came down on Christmas Day. Our gifts to each other were exceptionally domestic; I got a laundry sorter and crock pot, and James got a quesadilla maker and cookware.
• With great fear and trembling, I am putting myself up for an appointment this year. I've been working on some of my own issues that contributed to the SJ debacle and also much better informed on how to handle a "problem church." I think that the local church and I deserve to give each other another chance. I'm just terrified, which may be a good thing. At least I won't be cocky.
• I am LOVING my residency. I love my fellow residents, my supervisor, and the rest of the Pastoral Care staff. I also like Riverside. I hate the commute (40 miles each way) but at least I get to listen to lots of books on CD...the residency ends on August 31.
• Susanna is still not walking. She is standing fairly well with support and is developing more muscle tone, which is key. She's still working with the PT, and will do so until she reaches our goal (able to walk/run easily) or her third birthday, whichever comes first. Apparently I didn't walk until I was about 22 months, so this may be a genetic thing.
• Outside the walking issue, she is still clearly the most adorable, intelligent, and personable child alive. James and I are absolutely enthralled by her, and she charms everyone she meets. She's been sick more this year, with two ear infections and a recent bout of bronchiolitis (thankfully, no ER trip this time!), but her daycare is larger and she's not getting "mommy's milk" anymore. However, she's still pretty healthy, which is a relief. Last time we checked, she was about 31" long and weighed about 23 lbs. She has a smattering of words and lots of unrecognizable sounds. She likes bananas, quesadillas, green beans, and chocolate chip cookies.
• Simon is enjoying his life as a suburban dog and likes barking at the other dogs in the neighborhood. His closest "friend" is Charlie, whose parents are Joel and Melissa (good friends of ours who live in Hampton). He is incredibly gentle with Susanna, who calls him "Dog dog" and likes to pet/hit him. We have yet to see him snap or growl at her. He just gets up and moves when he's had enough. Simon is still extremely cuddly and likes sleeping in bed with us.
• James is doing very, very well at work. He's already gotten a big, fat raise and a performance award. He likes what he's doing, which is a nice change from those last few months at NCCU. Job Satisfaction + Job Success = Happy Husband.

And...I think that's about it. I'll try and post some pictures soon, so you can see how absolutely cute our daughter is.

Tossing a bone...

Life is crazy with both of us working and keeping up with Susanna and the house. Here's a picture of her, taken yesterday, when she was out with Nani (my mom) on a house tour. Susanna is now 15 months old, weighs 22 lbs 9 ozs, and is 31" tall. She is an absolute delight. She's not walking yet, due to low muscle tone. We're working with Early Intervention, and she's receiving physical therapy on a weekly basis. She should be walking with ease by late spring at the absolute latest. I'm personally hoping that she'll be walking by the 18 month mark.

The good news? The Early Intervention team evaluated EVERYTHING, and she is either on target or advanced in every area except for gross motor skills (50% delay) and fine motor skills (30% delay). In other words, we caught this early enough that it shouldn't affect her on a long-term basis. Her cognitive, speech, and social skills are fine, and those are what matter most to us.

Week 6 Reflections

Contrary to my beloved husband's statement, I have not abandoned this blog. I have, however, been very busy. To help you stay connected, I thought I'd begin posting my weekly reflections. Each week I am required to write a one-page journal of sorts about any major relationships, events, or realizations from the week. My supervisor is the only one who sees this reflection, but I'll share it with you. However, if there is information that I deem too personal, I'll edit it out before posting.

FYI, we're all assigned a few floors, where we do rounds every few days among the patients and staff. Mine are: Labor/Delivery, Mother/Baby, NICU (neonatal intensive care), Pediatrics, Hematology/Oncology (Hem/Onc), 4 West (oncology), and 5 Annex (orthopedics).

This week I’ve felt like I’m making progress with the Labor & Delivery staff. I’ve now received three referrals for pastoral care, including one on Wednesday evening. A young woman had miscarried at 14 weeks gestation, and was still holding the fetus in her hands when I arrived. It was so tiny (about the length of a credit card) and very red, yet was fully formed. The more death calls I attend (whether they be for a 14-week old fetus or an 87-year old adult), the more I realize that pastoral presence, prayer, and words of scripture are the best gifts that I can offer a family at the moment of death. Anything else seems so trite.
Now that I’ve been doing my rounds for over a month, I’ve realized that 4 West and 5 Annex pretty much compete for the majority of my time. In general, I can visit all my other floors within 90 minutes, because there are either very few patients who need my attention or (as in the case of Hem/Onc) the patients either don’t want visitors or are sleeping. This week I was able to have some very meaningful visits with patients, including two women dying of cancer. One had just been told that her cancer was untreatable and all they (meaning the medical team) could do was make her comfortable. She went home on Wednesday. The other one is still a patient (according to my census, since I haven’t made it to the floor yet) and has pancreatic cancer. She knows that the disease is terminal, but she has gone to amazing lengths to stay alive and be with her family as long as possible. She currently has a feeding tube and can’t eat solid foods. She has not been home since April, when she was diagnosed. She’s been in and out of several hospitals and has been staying in a nursing home. I wonder what her quality of life is and if I would go to those lengths to stay alive.
Among other reasons, I wanted to do a residency program so I could figure out what was "wrong" with me and fix it (in a manner of speaking). Even four months ago, I felt like a failure in many areas of my life, especially professionally. My learning goals and early experience in this program have been shaped by my experience in the parish. While I still think my learning goals are good ones, I am gaining perspective on my parish experience and am realizing that it was not ALL my fault, or even mostly my fault. Was I partially responsible? Of course, but a lot of it had to do with dynamics of the system and factors beyond my control. My interactions with patients, staff, and colleagues have been very encouraging and affirming. I’m not perfect and can certainly grow in some areas, but neither am I a total loser. As I’ve slowly begun re-gaining my self-confidence, I’ve had the exciting realization that I am not a failure and definitely have many gifts for ministry. Furthermore, in my next ministry setting (wherever it is) I have confidence that I will be able to use my experience and knowledge to become an effective minister.

Hijacking the blog for some cooler vibrations...

Well, since apparently my wife has abandoned this blog like yesterday's underwear, I'm going to make some use of it. Since we've moved into the house, I've been slowly doing repairs each weekend. Today's adventure was the thermostat, which is an old crusty 1970ish style model that is original to the house. You can see what I mean below:

Since I was already at Home Depot today to get an air filter, I stopped by and surveyed the programmable thermostats and got a significant upgrade. This model allows you to program it for 4 different time slots per day and each day can be controlled independently. It's also nice since it will also support a heat pump with backup heat supply, which we'll probably be having to do in a year or so(The A/C and heat are about 14 years old and original to house as well). It took me about an hour to install it, mainly testing it to make sure it was working properly and to program it. The final result is shown below:



Maybe by next weekend I can have the doggie door delivered and installed for Simon. I"m planning on installing an in-wall unit from PetSafe at this point unless I can find another alternative. He can really annoying about going in and out at times and I want to leave the back door closed as much as possible.

Surrounded By Boys...

In the past two weeks, three of my friends have had baby boys, and another couple just found out that their baby (in-utero) is a boy. So congrats to Alex (Andrew and Tracy), Robert (Amanda and Jack), and Ty (Alyssa and Andy) who entered this world last week. And then I can't wait to meet Joshua (due in February) whose excited parents are Joel and Melissa. Woohoo!

So, I have a request. Would someone PLEASE have a girl? I have all of these cute little girl clothes that I would love to lend to someone. And Susanna wants a girl friend to play with...boys are great, but there's nothing like girl time!

Pastoral Care at Riverside: The Cast of Characters

So now that you know what I'm doing, I thought I'd give you a snapshot of who I work with:



Doug is the Director of Pastoral Care and our CPE Supervisor. He's been at Riverside for as long as I've been alive, but he was probably younger than I am when he started. Doug is one of those people who is always surprising you; just yesterday I found out that he drives a Mustang convertible. Anyway, he is the primary reason why I applied to Riverside. He has a reputation as a great supervisor. Plus, he's United Methodist and went to this GREAT college in southwest Virginia. Teeny little place called Emory & Henry...



Judy is the staff chaplain and basically does all the morning and early afternoon work so that the residents and interns can be in seminars and supervision. She gets here at 5:30 a.m., prays with all of the people going into surgery, and then does rounds of the ER and ICU, and takes any pages until noon. She usually goes home around 2:30 p.m. Judy is very thoughtful; she's the sort of person who remembers birthdays (she even got mine!) and provides "survival kits" for us

Helen is the Office Coordinator, and as she put it, "I'm your Mom." She knows a lot about chaplaincy, the hospital, and how the department works. She's pursuing a call to vocational ministry, and plans to take seminary classes eventually. Helen is very cool and is much more than an adminstrative professional. In fact, if a disaster were to happen, she would be leading one of the three chaplain teams!

The other two residents are:

M is in her late twenties, is single (and very attractive, if any of my single male readers are interested), and originally from Dallas (although, thank goodness, she is not a Cowboys fan). She was in the Air Force for several years after college. M is very down-to-earth, thoughtful, and puts people at ease quickly. However, she's also the kind of person you'd love to hate, if it weren't for the previous qualities. She always looks put-together and stylish, even after 13 hours on-call. I'd kill for her wardrobe, but she's about five sizes smaller than me, so it wouldn't do any good. :) She's Baptist, and will finish seminary in May.

S is in his late thirties, is married with a toddler, and originally from Cincinatti. He's a very friendly and welcoming person and currently pastors a church part-time (yes, both my co-residents are masochists). S graduated from seminary a couple years ago and is also Baptist. He's also a Bengals fan, but I'm trying not to hold that against him.

We also have five pastoral interns, who are doing their FIRST unit of CPE. They're mostly here on Mondays.

We all (so far) get along very well, and I can't see that changing much. The staff tends to eat lunch together every day and we have a staff meeting most mornings. We also gather for devotions in the morning, and take turns leading that. It's a very diverse group (although we're all Christian), which is pretty cool.

OK Patti, WHAT Are You Doing This Year???

For the next twelve months (until August 31, 2009) I will be doing what is called a "residency in Clinical Pastoral Education." What the heck is that, you ask? When I'm pressed for time, I simply tell people that I'm a hospital chaplain. It's simple and it's fairly true. However, I'm not pressed for time now. I'm on call tonight and am killing time on the computers in the doctors' lounge (to which we have access, strangely enough).

Those of you who have known me a while may remember the work I did at Hospice the summer of 2005. That was my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education. Simply put, it's clinical (hospital, hospice, nursing home, etc) work combined with supervision, seminars, and reflection. You do pastoral care in a clinical setting, you reflect on and receive feedback regarding your work, and then you put into practice what you have learned. Most denominations either require or recommend a unit or half unit for ordination, and most people do that first unit and move on to bigger and better things.

So that's CPE in a nutshell. I love it, but there are times when it's really emotionally draining. As part of our reflection process (which is mostly done through "verbatims", or accounts of patient/family visits), we have to pinpoint any "hot buttons" that the visit may have touched. For example, if someone had a difficult time providing care for a dying alcoholic because his/her father was an alcoholic and the visit brought back painful memories. That sort of thing. With the right supervisor and the right peer group, CPE can turn out to be a very powerful and healing force in someone's life and ministry.

So...that's what I'll be doing until next August. I'll actually be completing FOUR units of CPE. It's a full-time program, so I work from 8:30-5:00 Monday through Friday, plus four on-call nights a month. I actually get to go home early the day after my on-call shift, so that's kind of nice. When I'm on-call, I stay at the hospital and take pages from 5:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. I still have to be at work at 8:30, HOWEVER, I usually leave after our seminars are completed, around 10:00 or 11:00 a.m.

It's a paid position (although considerably less than I was making as a pastor) with benefits. Once I'm done, I can either return to the local church or seek a position as a chaplain somewhere. I don't know what I'll do yet...it's too early to decide. I really love it so far, although there have been some tough times. Example: last week a fifty-something man was brought to the ER in cardiac arrest. He was from out of state, and had collapsed while playing in a tennis tournament. I took the page, so first I had to comfort his three friends (one of whom had been his tennis partner for 20+ years), then return four hours later to comfort his wife when she arrived. I also got to act as a liason between the ER staff and the family, like finding out when and where they could view the body and stuff like that. It was pretty rough. However, it's also very rewarding to be able to provide care for someone and be "Jesus with skin on".

We're alive...just busy!

I started my chaplain residency program two weeks ago...on September 2. I'm loving it, but of course things have been rather crazy. I leave the house at 7:00 a.m. in order to clock in at 8:30. I leave at 5:00, and usually arrive home about 6:00 p.m. I have one on-call night a week, so I have to stay at the hospital that night and come home the next morning. And then we have all the household chores...James and I spent today cleaning the house and doing laundry. At least it means that tomorrow we can have some fun!

We have Susanna in a great daycare that's actually on my way to work. The daycare is in Chesapeake, so it's close to home. I drop her off in the morning and James picks her up in the evening. So far, Susanna is really enjoying it.

I'll post more later...about Susanna's first b-day party (including pics), more about my program and what I'm doing, and Susanna's 12-month appointment.

Look Who's Turned One!

Susanna's first birthday is today. It's bittersweet for me. On the one hand, I'm celebrating her life and looking forward to many more years. On the other hand, I'm a little sad that my little girl is growing up so fast. Above is a picture of Susanna just moments after her birth. Here is a picture of what she looks like now:

It's amazing how much she's grown! We feel very blessed to be her parents.

Who's the kid?

This past weekend, we headed up to McLean so I could preach at my home church. We stayed in a hotel (that's another blog post entirely), but we spent a lot of time with our friend Paul. We also got to see our friend Mike, which was great. Anyway, on Sunday afternoon Paul and Susanna got a little silly. It was fun to watch, and I had to capture it on video. Turn your sound on to get the full effect!

Seven years!!!!!!!!

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary. I can't believe it. Time sure does fly when you're having fun. James and I had our "anniversary date" on Friday. We went to a local seafood restaurant and to see "Dark Knight" (which is very good, by the way). It was the first time we had been to a movie theatre since Susanna's birth! My mom and dad kept Susanna overnight, so we were able to sleep in the next morning and spend some extra time together (Have I mentioned how great it is to have my parents living less than 20 miles away?). We picked Susanna up around 12:30 on Saturday. We missed her, but it was great to have that time alone.

We are very thankful for the seven years we have had, and the many blessings that God has given us (one of whom is sitting in our La-Z-Boy, nursing a bottle). We've always joked that we signed up for the sixty-year marriage plan, so seven years down, fifty-three to go!

Happy anniversary, honey!

My new toy

I've had a love-hate relationship with our stroller for a while. It's this huge contraption that weighs at least 30 lbs and even folded takes up a huge amount of space. However, we've been using it for almost six months because it was a hand-me-down and therefore free.

For the past three months I've been researching strollers and deciding what would be best for me (James had no complaints about The Mothership, as I call it). I've read various reviews, tried some out at Babies R Us, and asked my friends. My major requirements were that it be a reasonable price (under $200...there are strollers that cost $500), weigh under 20 lbs, have a fairly compact fold, and be well-made. I didn't want a cheap-o umbrella stroller because their handles are too low, even for me. And since Susanna seems to be determined to stay at the top of the growth charts, I wanted the stroller to be comfy for her as she grows.

So after much deliberation, I decided that the Maclaren Triumph was my top pick. It meets all my requirements, has a very good reputation, and is an absolute breeze to fold and carry. Plus, it came in a nice selection of colors.

Of course, the biggest challenge was convincing James that this was the stroller for us and that he should let me buy it. Through a strange turn of events last night (we were having friends over for dinner), he told me I could go out and get it. So, my friend Melissa and I looked at each other, and drove off to Babies R Us (which is now only 15 minutes away). Less than an hour later, we arrived home with the stroller pictured above. I'm very excited. Thanks, Honey!

Meet Clyde!

My parents have a new dog! His name is Clyde and he's three years old. My dad adopted him from a shelter. He's a Doberman mix, but don't hold that against him. We met him on Friday night, and he's a very nice, friendly, gentle, and loving dog. He was very good with Susanna. Simon can't wait to meet his new "uncle", although we're going to wait until Clyde's a little more settled before we introduce them.

Welcome to the family, Clyde!

Rest in Peace, Rocky

David Rockfish "Rocky" Sufficool
November 7, 1997 to July 17, 2008

My parents' dog, Rocky, died very suddenly this morning. My dad said that Rocky had a massive tumor that suddenly bled out. My dad took Rocky to the emergency vet, and they had to put him down. We got him when he was six weeks old; I was halfway through my junior year of college. I took Rocky on walks and took him to obedience school (which he failed miserably, mostly because he was the largest dog by about 30 lbs and I didn't practice with him enough). Although I haven't lived at home in seven years, I still thought of him as partly "my" dog, because we had so much history together.

Rocky was a wonderful dog, full of character. We'll all miss him, but I think his death will be the hardest on my dad, because he and Rocky were very close.

I like to think that Rocky and Woody are playing happily together in doggie heaven, munching on treats to their hearts' content.

Our Little Giant

Susanna had her nine-month checkup today. Yes, I know it's six weeks late. However, that's what happens when you move and have to find a new pediatrician. When I called the last week of May, July 16 was their first available "well child" appointment.

Anywho, I love her new doctor. She took time to listen and answer all my questions in a very thorough way. Susanna of course got weighed and measured. She is 29.5 inches tall (which puts her in the 90th percentile) and weighs 20 lbs, 13 oz (which puts her in the 75th percentile). And those percentiles are for a 10 month old, not a 9 month old baby.

We have a large child, folks. I think she'll surpass me in height before she enters middle school. Sigh.

Back from Florida!

We returned from Florida last night, after a four-hour long delay in Charlotte. Mom and I now know the Charlotte airport very well. We highly recommend the BBQ place in the main terminal. :)
Anyway, a great time was had by all, and Susanna proved to be a very good flier (with the exception of the Norfolk-Charlotte leg, but that's another story). I've posted a few pictures to wet your appetite, with more to come. The first is a professional picture from our photo sitting. We thought it would be a nice idea to have a picture of all four of us. The second picture is after church on Sunday morning. The gentleman in the photo is Piet (known to Susanna as "Opa"), my grandmother's companion. Piet has rapidly become a member of the family. The third picture is of Susanna enjoying her first swim. She is obviously my daughter, because she LOVED swimming in both the pool and the Gulf.

Look How She's Grown!

Our little girl...


...isn't so little anymore. At 10 months, she is beginning to look less and less like a baby and more and more like a little girl. We're almost positive that her eyes will permanently be blue, since they haven't changed yet. Her hair is getting longer and kind of curly. It seems like every day she's developing some sort of new skill. It's wonderful and exciting, but kind of sad, too.

Susanna and Simon are becoming good friends, as you can see in this picture. She pets him and tries to grab his collar. He puts up with it, and licks her lovingly. It's very cute.

Fourth of July Fun!

Last night, we went out on my parents' boat to celebrate the 4th of July. We cruised around the Chesapeake Bay for a few hours and saw most of the city's fireworks displays. It was great; no crowds, no mosquitoes, and at times we could see four or five different fireworks shows at once. Here are a few pictures of Susanna and James. She's wearing a life vest, per USCG rules. She really didn't like it very much, as you can tell from the picture. We think her expression says, "Oh my gosh, these people are unreal. Look what I have to put up with." She didn't have to wear the life vest in the cabin, so she spent a lot of time in there.

Annual Conference 2008

Susanna and I went to Annual Conference last week. We left on Sunday afternoon and returned Wednesday evening. It was in Roanoke this year (they alternate between Roanoke, Norfolk, and Hampton) so we got to stay with James' mom. We had a lot of fun, although it was pretty busy and tiring.

Here's Tuesday's schedule, to give you an idea:

7:30 a.m. We wake up, eat breakfast, and get dressed.
9:45 a.m. Arrive at the Civic Center (about 15 minutes from Nina's apartment)
9:45 a.m.-12:00 p.m. I listen to the various presentations and participate in worship while Susanna looked around, napped, and played on the floor with Chloe, Anna, and Carson.
12:00 p.m. We eat lunch with Dave, a former pastor and family friend.
1:30 p.m.-5:00 p.m. Susanna and I stroll around the exhibit area and the Expo
5:00 p.m. Young Clergy dinner at a local restaurant
7:30 p.m. Back to the Civic Center for a worship service, "Celebrating the Ministry of Young People"
9:30 p.m. Back to Nina's apartment.

Can I just say how amazing Susanna is? She was SO GOOD all week. Sometime she got a little bored and then got fussy, but for the most part she was happy to be strolled around, play with her toys, play with other kids, and take in everything that was going on around her.

This year, the Annual Conference's focus was on Young People. It was pretty neat. Most of the music was contemporary (including at the ordination service, which apparently ticked some people off), the lyrics and liturgy were projected onto screens (although also in the worship book), and all day Tuesday there was an Expo with tons of exhibits to give churches ideas about how to better reach young people.

It was great to see my fellow clergy friends, some of whom I hadn't seen in a year. It was also great to see some friends from Charles Wesley, the church I grew up in. I love Annual Conference, because it's a big reunion and also a great time for refreshment, new ideas, and getting reconnected.

I've posted some pictures for your viewing pleasure. The first one is of Susanna and some friends (a.ka. "the childrens' delegation") playing on the floor during a session. The second is of Susanna holding the Book of Reports, our agenda and guide for all of the sessions/presentations.

What a messy eater!

This morning, James decided to let Susanna feed herself breakfast. She took that to mean "grab spoon with one hand, put other hand in jar and go to town." The end result was slightly messy. However, she did have a blast doing it.

Needless to say, she received a very thorough bath after breakfast.

New skills are always good...

Since I am a stay-at-home mom until September 2, I have the wonderful privilege of cooking the bulk of our family meals. James is a much, much, better cook than me. He's really a natural at it, and usually makes Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. However, I'm the one at home during the day and with (supposedly) more time on my hands, so I've been given the fun task of cooking dinner. For the past two years, while things were so busy, my meal preparation involved a lot of packaged stuff and minimalist meals (slab of meat + canned vegetable = meal). Now that I have more time and less stress, I've resolved to work on my cooking skills.

So far, things are going well. Last week, I made some yummy pork chops in a cherry sauce with fresh green beans (cooked with onion in chicken broth). Tonight, I'm making chicken curry with basmati rice. I also experimented a little and discovered a way to make pot roast positively scrumptious (onion soup mix, cream of mushroom soup, and red potatoes). At some point I'm going to try and make craw fish or shrimp etouffee, because we're simply dying for some good Cajun food (I miss Joe's OK Bayou in Lexington!).

I've realized that I kind of enjoy cooking when I have the time and energy to plan and prepare a yummy meal. My new hero? Rachael Ray and her 30-Minute Meals. Granted, some of her ingredients are obscure/expensive, but there's a Harris Teeter around the corner, and it has virtually everything I need. I figure that with a few exceptions, it's cheaper to make a gourmet meal at home than buy it in a restaurant. The ingredients for tonight's chicken curry may have cost $30 to buy (that's including the big bag of chicken), but a) what I fix tonight will last us for two meals and b) the ingredients I bought should make another 3-4 batches of curry, easily. Definitely cheaper than buying the prepared product in a restaurant. At least I may have found one domestic task that I may wind up liking and being good at!

However, I wouldn't count on me ever saying that I like cleaning or ironing. Never, ever, ever.

I'm so excited!!!!

In less than a month, my mom, Susanna, and myself are going down to Florida to see my grandmother! We're going for free/extremely cheap thanks to frequent flyer miles. This will be the first time my grandmother will meet Susanna. It will be lots of fun.

I can't wait!!

Patti-1, Icemaker-0

James and I are rapidly learning about the joys of home ownership. This is the second home we've owned, but the first was a brand-new townhouse, so there wasn't really a big worry about something breaking. Our new home is 14 years old, and pretty much everything (refrigerator, stove, roof, a/c unit) is original to the house. It all works fine now, but we're budgeting and planning for some major work in the next five years.

Anyway, our fridge is one of those side-by-side models that have an in-door ice dispenser. Very nice, especially for an ice addict like myself. There's a little problem; the icemaker is very slow. As in, it makes about five (5) cubes a day. I'm not exaggerating. It's been quite frustrating.

So, I figured out a solution. I made a few trays of ice cubes, and tossed the ice cubes into the ice storage bin. Voila! The ice tumbled oblingingly into my glass. I may have to be an ice-making machine for a few days, but hopefully we'll have an abundant supply of ice before long.

James spent this weekend working on our master bedroom closet. A few days after we moved in, half of our closet shelving fell down in the middle of the night. Apparently the previous owners (or the builder) hadn't placed the proper supports on it. Grr....Now half of our closet is redone, and we could probably swing from the rods and not have it collapse. The other half of the closet will be redone probably sometime this fall---after I've started work and have received a paycheck.

How to Transform Your Life in 30 Days or Less...

This blog post will either be very, very long or be split into several parts. I've been very busy for the past six weeks, which is why I haven't posted anything. So, I have a lot of news for you. Let me give you a brief synopsis, so you know what to expect and will stop chomping on your respective bits.

1. As of May 17, I am on family leave ad interim until June 30. This means I am no longer the pastor of St. John's. My last Sunday in the pulpit was May 4, and I took my remaining vacation time, through May 16. My District Superintendent totally supported me in this., and it was something that I needed to do, for a variety of reasons. I'm not going to go into those reasons here; you can e-mail me privately if you want details.
   
2. I've been accepted to a "Residency in Clinical Pastoral Education" at a hospital in Newport News. I begin on September 2. It's a paid position with benefits, and lasts for one year. After that, I may return to the local church or I may get a chaplain position. Only God knows!
   
3. We closed on our new house on May 16. The packers came to Danville on the 19th, they loaded on the 20th, and unloaded in Chesapeake on the 21st. We have about half the house unpacked, including our room, the kitchen, the family room, and most of the living and dining rooms.
   
4. Susanna turned nine (9) months old last Thursday. She has five teeth, number six is poking through, and we're hoping the teeth seven, eight, et al will wait a little bit. She's occasionally miserable, and so are we. Thank God for teething biscuits! She's sitting up by herself, scoots around on her back and tummy, and is making lots of new sounds. This includes "Da-da", which both James and I decided referred to him, since she was looking at him when she said it. Therefore, the kid has her first word at 9 months, and is looking to be as verbal as her mother. I'll post pictures soon, I promise.
   
5. The movers killed James' plasma TV. Thankfully, we had full insurance, so it will be replaced. However, in the meantime, we're back to the 10 year old 20" TV James bought in college. It's better than nothing, but we'll be glad when we have another nice, big screen TV again.
   
6. This stay-at-home mom thing is way harder than I thought it would be. I don't think I'm cut out to do this long-term. I love taking care of Susanna, but I'm not that great at domestic stuff. However, I think I will learn to be a better cook in the next three months.
   
7. James still loves his job. He's splitting time between Norfolk and Suffolk, and works what I call the "schoolyard shift" (between 6:30-7:00 a.m. and 3:30-4:00 p.m.) so he can beat traffic and spend more time with us in the evening.
8. It is so, so nice to have our family together again. It's also nice to be closer to my parents (who live less than 20 miles away) and some of our friends. We can actually have a social life now. Woohoo!
9. I feel peaceful and stress-free for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long. My marriage is better than it has been in a long time, and I hope that the next year will bring healing and wholeness.
   

Rocky Update

Yay!! Assuming he doesn't throw up within the next hour, Rocky will be going HOME tonight! My parents are thrilled about this. They knew he was doing much, much, better when the vet called and said that Rocky was pulling them around on the leash. That's our boy!

Prayers for Rocky

Please pray for Rocky, my parents' black Lab. He's 10, and has been diagnosed with pancreatis. He is currently an inpatient in the "doggie hospital", and will probably be there for another day or so. He'll hopefully be fine (although my parents' bank account may not!), but it's still kind of worrisome. We got Rocky when he was a puppy and I was in college, so he's sort of been "my" dog, too.

I really hope he gets better, because I don't think I can handle losing two dogs in three months.

Housekeeping

Now that my blog is 2+ years old and has over 200 posts, I've decided to make it easier for my readers (since I keep running into people who tell me that they read my blog) to access older posts. On the sidebar, you will see a list of categories...Family Life, Vocation, Furry Children, etc. Slowly but surely, I am going through all my old posts and giving them a "label", or a name that describes the content. I'll also start doing this with all future posts. That way, if you want to read a post (or posts) on a certain topic, you can click on the label name and it will show you all posts in that topic. You can also still search the archives by date, if you so desire.

It's going to take a while...I started yesterday and am only up through July 2006.

Product Reviews: The Indispensable, the Useful, and the Useless

I've been a parent for almost eight months now. Oh my gosh, that seems like a very long time. When I was pregnant with Susanna, I read books, visited websites, and viewed lists that told me WHAT TO BUY FOR YOUR BABY. They were very authoritative and convincing; some even made it sound like you were a horrible parent and were sacrificing your baby's future if you didn't provide him/her with the suggested items. After all, how was Baby going to get into Harvard if he/she didn't have a play mat with lights AND music AND nice, bright dangling things??? Truth be told, I fell for it all, hook, line, and sinker. Thankfully, James is a little more skeptical than I am, so he was able to reign in my fanaticism. Another reason why he's the best husband for me!

I'd like to prevent other people from being sucked into the same vortex as I was, so here's a list based on my experience of items that are either Indispensable (I'd rather give up a kidney than lose it). Useful (sure makes life easier, but not totally necessary), or Useless (don't waste your money). All of these things are frequently used sometime in the first six months. Keep in mind that this is just my opinion, and based on my experience.

Indispensable:

-Infant car seat: In those early months of life, when babies fall asleep at the drop of a hat, can't hold their head up well, and can't sit up by themselves, the infant seat allows you to carry/stroll them anywhere without disturbing them very much/at all. They can go from house to car to restaurant to stroller...you get the idea. The height/weight limits on most of them are high enough (29"/22 lbs) that they can be used until Baby is 6+ months old...some even up to a year old. Once Baby is too heavy to lug in the carrier, you can still keep it in the car and use as a car seat until they grow out of it. We used this infant seat from Graco, but in a different pattern.

-Stroller frame: Skip the bulky travel system and spent $50-60 on a stroller frame like this one. Heck, look on Craigslist or scour the classifieds for a used one and save money. It's lightweight, folds up easily, and has a nice-sized basket and cup holders. You can use it as long as Baby fits into their infant seat...usually anywhere from 6-9 months old. By the time you need to buy another stroller, you'll have a better idea of what you need/want, and Baby will be able to ride in an umbrella stroller, if you so desire.

-Play yard/travel crib with bassinet feature: I know a lot of people who forgo a traditional crib and use this instead, especially in a small home. Our initial plan was to use this for the first six months so Susanna could sleep in the room with us, and THEN transition her into the crib. She wound up sleeping in her crib from the beginning. However, we have used her Pack-n-Play a LOT when traveling, for nap times, and occasionally just to let her play in it. Since our new house is two-story, I'm planning on placing it downstairs so I can put her down for a nap/playtime without carrying her upstairs.

-Vibrating Bouncy Seat: I bought our bouncy seat for 1/2 price at a children's' consignment shop. It saved our sanity for the first month or two. I'm not kidding; we would place Susanna in it, turn on the vibrations, and she would calm down. As she got older, she became more interested in the music and light show that played. She grew out of it by five months, but it was really, really great while it lasted.

-High chair: Our is another hand-me-down from my cousin (God bless Lieu!). Even before Susanna started on solid foods we were using it at meals. We'd strap her in and roll her up to the table so she could be with us. Now that she's eating solid foods, we use it about three-four times a day. Look for one with a "sub bar" that's attached to the seat (keeps baby from sliding out) and that reclines. If finances/space are a major issue, consider trying this, which is cheaper, takes up less space, but still reclines.

Breast pump: If you're planning on breastfeeding, buy a double-electric breast pump. Buy one even if you're going to be a stay-at-home mom, because you will want/need to leave Baby with a sitter/relative/friend at times. Buy it BEFORE Baby is born; don't wait to buy it. Why? Because if for some reason you have trouble nursing (with latch, inverted nipples, whatever), you can still pump to build your supply and provide your baby with breast milk while any issues are being corrected. A manual or single electric pump won't be adequate to build/maintain supply. And if worse comes to worse, you can pump exclusively, which is what I did. For six long months. My breast pump (another hand-me-down from Lieu) was the Medela Pump in Style, which I highly recommend. Yes, it's expensive. However, formula is more expensive, and not nearly as good for Baby as "Mommy's milk." Even if you buy a breast pump and breastfeed (by nursing, pumping, or a combination) for just the first six months, you've probably saved $400 more than if you had only fed baby formula during that time (assuming you're using a brand-name formula with DHA and ARA).

Useful:

-Swing: Ours was a hand-me-down from my cousin and the style resembles this. I've heard a lot of people like cradle swings like this, too. Anyway, for now the swing has replaced the bouncy seat as the "soothing device" for Susanna. Who knows what we'll do when she outgrows the swing (very soon) and gets fussy/inconsolable? And for the record, we do hold, rock, talk to, and walk with Susanna when she gets fussy. I don't want anyone thinking that we just plop her someplace once she starts crying. No, we put her in this stuff AFTER we've tried consoling her ourselves, to no avail. It gives us a sanity break.

-Play gym: Beginning around 2-3 months old, this has amused Susanna very, very well. Even at almost eight months, she's discovering new things about it (like the cute baby in the mirror) and is becoming much more interactive, rather than just staring at the nice hanging things.

-Exersaucer: Another hand-me-down from my cousin, ours resembles this, without the arch thingy. It amuses her, it entertains her, and it exercises her legs. It also gives her a safe place to "hang" while Mommy and Daddy take showers and get dressed.

-Baby carrier: We use the Baby Bjorn, which we like and is useful for keeping Baby close to you and your hands free. James has used it in church, so he doesn't have to keep juggling her while getting up and down. I've also heard good things about the Ergo, slings, and some of the lower-end carriers (like the Snugli). It's nice when a stroller is impractical and you need to transport Baby.

-BundleMe/Car seat cover: Great if Baby is a fall/winter baby, because you can zip this baby up and keep them warm without worrying about loose blankets or a coat. Costs between $20-40, but I thought it was well worth it.

-Baby Monitor: Ours is a hand-me-down that we really don't need right now (the parsonage is a ranch, so we can hear Susanna easily unless we're outside/in the basement). I mostly use it at night and keep the receiver on my nightstand. However, we will be using it a lot more once we move since we'll be in a slightly larger house that has two stories. If I was going to buy a monitor, I'd buy this one because it has two receivers and is rechargeable.

I think I'll save the "useless" items for another post. This has gotten way too long.

We found a house!

Last week, Susanna and I met James in Chesapeake to go house-hunting. Over the past two months, James has been working with a realtor and looking for homes in Chesapeake and Virginia Beach. He probably looked at 50+ homes and narrowed it down to about eight that he liked and thought that I'd like. We spent Thursday looking at all of these houses. James had done a great job; I wouldn't have minded living in any of them! However, we did settle on a mutual favorite and wrote out an offer for it. The sellers sent back a counter offer, so we sent them our own counter offer. Finally, Kim (our realtor, who is simply amazing) called us this morning to tell us that our offer had been accepted! Yay!

The house is one that we'll hopefully stay in for a while. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, and is in the best school district in Chesapeake (very important now that we have Her Highness). It has a nice yard for Simon and a lovely master suite for Mommy and Daddy. We're hoping to close shortly after Memorial Day. It will be so nice to be homeowners again; we've already begun thinking about improvements and landscaping.

Been to the Emergency Room

I don't think you've fully experienced parenthood until you've made a middle-of-the-night visit to the ER with your child.

Less than four hours after I wrote Thursday's post, I woke up to hear Susanna sounding like Darth Vader over the baby monitor. When I went to check on her, I could hear her wheezing from the doorway of her room. The on-call nurse had told me if her wheezing got that loud that I needed to take her to the ER. So...in the next thirty minutes I did everything possible to avoid doing just that. I fed her some Pedialyte, ran the shower for 20 minutes, and kept her upright to help her breathe easier.

Why did I want to avoid the ER? No, it wasn't for financial reasons. Nor was it laziness. It's because the ER at Danville Regional Medical Center is legendary for being S L O W. I've heard of people waiting FIVE HOURS in the WAITING ROOM, giving up, and heading to another ER (there are about three others within an hour's drive). I didn't want to take her there unless it was absolutely necessary.

Alas, none of my measures worked, so I got dressed, bundled her up and off we went. Please note that I had the presence of mind to write down her Social Security # before we left. We arrived at 1:50 a.m. Thankfully, we were taken back to a room within 45 minutes, saw a doctor almost immediately, and within 30 minutes Susanna was receiving a breathing treatment. She was still wheezing a bunch after her first breathing treatment, so they gave her a second one. Thankfully, the second one did the trick...mostly. She wasn't breathing normally, but was showing enough improvement that the doctor said she didn't need to be hospitalized. He wrote a few prescriptions and told me to take her to the pediatrician that day (Friday). The diagnosis he gave us was: bronchiolitis (click on the link if you want more info).

Thankfully, she's doing much, much better. She's sleeping through the night again, is wheezing very rarely, is coughing less, and has regained her appetite. I'm keeping her home with me for the next few days until she's fully recovered. In the meantime, several times a day we "drug her up" with Amoxocillin (for the ear infection), Albuterol (for the wheezing), and a cough syrup.

I'm hoping and praying that she stays healthy for the next two months. I can't handle too many more weeks like this past week. Of course, I'll deal with it if it happens again. But I'm hoping that it doesn't.

Mama's Girl All the Way!

I am so freaking tired, yet I can't go to sleep. Don't you hate that? I haven't gotten a full night's sleep all week. Susanna is sick. She developed a cough over the weekend. Monday night, we woke up about three times because she kept coughing. Tuesday, I kept her home from daycare "just in case." On Wednesday, a church member had surgery in Winston-Salem, so I took her to daycare, so I could go down there. She seemed to be a little better. When I got back on Wednesday night, she was much worse. She hadn't eaten much at all, she was extremely clingy, and her cough seemed worse. So, I took her to the urgent care clinic. Turns out that in addition to her cold (or whatever it is), she has an EAR INFECTION.

That's where the "Mama's Girl" comes in...I had tons of ear infections when I was little. My very first one ocurred when I was about Susanna's age. Amazingly enough, Amoxocillin hasn't changed in 20+ years...I recognized the smell as soon as I opened the bottle of oral suspension liquid. They also gave her another cough syrup, and I'm running the vaporizer whenever she's in her room. She was sounding sort of wheezy/raspy tonight, but she's asleep now. I'll probably call the doctor in the morning if she's not better.

It's very difficult to get work done while taking care of a sick child. Thankfully, she slept more than usual today, so I was able to get some things accomplished. I'll probably keep her home with me tomorrow, because I don't want her spreading anything to the other kids (or getting another bug). Hopefully she'll be right as rain by Monday!