The Decision God Made For Us

Greg was a complete and total surprise.

We were somewhat open to the idea of a second child, and had discussed it. But, our discussions sort of had the same tone as when we discuss replacing the flooring downstairs...someday, but not right now. I figured it would be six months to a year before we were going to being "trying", if we began trying at all. Meanwhile, I was on birth control and since I took it faithfully, I figured we were "safe". I was wrong.

There were several reasons we were still in the "one child or two children?" discussion phase. First, James was an only child, had loved it, and said he'd be happy with just one child. Second (and the biggest reason for me), my brother has a rare genetic disorder and I do not know if I am a carrier for it. It's a recessive gene, so both James and myself would have to be carriers in order to have a chance of passing it on to our children. Even then, I think there's only a 25% chance of one of our children having SSADH (the specific condition my brother has). I've never been tested because insurance won't cover it and it would cost us upwards of $3K to get tested.

Anyway, I just didn't know if I wanted to "gamble" on having a kid with SSADH. As much as I love Bart and as much of a blessing and joy he is, I have seen what a strain a child with special needs can place on a family. And I know how hard it can be for the typically-developing sibling of a child with special needs. Neither James nor I believe in abortion, so even though a prenatal diagnosis is possible, we would certainly NOT terminate a pregnancy. So in our minds, we only had two options: have a second child and take the risks of him/her having SSADH or stick with one child.

Well, in the midst of all this discussion, God decided to intervene somehow and Greg was conceived. We found out on Father's Day 2009. He's healthy, happy, and a wonderful addition to our family. I think he's the best surprise I've ever received.

Yes, having two children is stressful sometimes (I am in awe of my friends who have 3, 4, 5, or even more children!), and the first few months of Greg's life were very tough (what with the newborn, the toddler, and the mother with breast cancer. Oh, and let's not forget the (milder this time, but still present) postpartum depression. I don't think that James and I do very well with the newborn period. However, watching how Susanna loves her little brother, and seeing how she can elicit such a joyful smile from Greg, makes it all worth it. There will certainly be sibling rivalry later on, and they will fight and all that stuff. But I hope, and I believe, that as they grow up and move into adulthood, that Susanna and Greg will be friends. I dream of them being in each other's weddings, spoiling each other's children, and their children (our grandchildren) becoming friends and playing together. In other words, I hope that their relationship will contain some of the elements missing from my relationship with Bart.

I've found that what everyone says is true; every child is different, and so is your relationship with them. I think Greg is much attached to me than Susanna was at this point (it's not that she wasn't attached, but she rarely cried when we left her anyplace, and Greg does.) and he has this way of giving me adoring smiles that convey that he thinks that I'm the best thing since sliced bread. I look forward to seeing his personality develop. He is very much like his sister in that he loves to smile and laugh, and also enjoys being around people. And the physical resemblance...my gosh! I need to post some "comparison" photos for you. It's crazy how much he looks like Susanna as a baby.

Thanks God, for going ahead and making the "one child or two children" decision for us. Best. thing. ever.

I'm Not in Kansas Anymore and I Don't Want to Go Back!

Since August 2009, I have been employed by Bon Secours Hampton Roads, which is part of the Bon Secours International health system. It was founded by Catholic nuns (the sisters of Bon Secours) and has kept the life and teachings of Jesus Christ as part of its mission for 100+ years.

When I began working for BSHR, I had to attend a new employee orientation, which lasted all day. By and large, hospital orientations for new employees are extremely similar, and Bon Secours was no exception. However, there were a few key distinctions at this one that quite pleased me. First, nearly everyone who presented material highlighted the mission of Bon Secours and its status as a faith-based organization. Second, BSHR actually has an administrator whose main role is Mission. She's the one all the Spiritual Care departments answer to, and although I've only met her that one time, I was quite impressed. Third, we (meaning all employees, not just the chaplains) are not just permitted, but encouraged to PRAY with patients if they ask us and/or seem amenable to it. Wow. There are prayers said over the PA system twice a day, and at DePaul we even announce the newest babies each day (first and middle names only, never last names).

Once I began actually working, I noticed other differences. The Spiritual Care departments are much better staffed than at most secular hospitals. Both Maryview and DePaul have at least one chaplain (usually two during the week) in-house seven days a week, 365 days of year. Both hospitals have on-call coverage 24/7, and Maryview has (due to the resurrection of its CPE program) resumed offering 24/7 in-house coverage Monday through Friday. With that sort of staff, every patient is visited (or at least we attempt to visit them) at least once during their stay. We visit patients in critical situations more, of course, and are always available via the pager system for emergencies and other requests.

Next, the hospital staff, especially the doctors, nurses, CNA's, and other staff who directly care for patients, clearly value the chaplains and see us as a key part of the "team." That is not always the case at secular hospitals. I've also been impressed by the way the staff cares for patients and families when we're delayed or (rarely) not available. One time I arrived at the bedside of a recently deceased patient only to find that the family had already left (I guess they had been present when the patient died, and didn't feel like waiting for me to drive half an hour from Chesapeake). The staff on the unit assured me that the family had been "fine", and told me what they (the staff) had done to comfort them; prayer, listening to stories, offering support, etc. Basically, lots of what I would have done for that family. It was nice knowing that others had stepped up to the plate when the chaplain wasn't present.

I will also say that I believe that patient care is superior here than at many secular hospitals in the area. True, the facilities at other hospitals may occasionally be nicer, but if I had to choose between competent staff who exuded caring and a really fancy facility, I'd pick the latter in a heartbeat.

Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Pastors

The Danville Years: My Own September 11 Experience

For two and a half years, I have struggled with how to adequately and succinctly describe my time at Saint John's, and how to respond when someone says, "was the local church tough for you?" Until recently, I couldn't really think of an appropriate description without giving a 30 minute blow-by-blow account of everything that happened, or simply saying "yes", which usually leads people to believe that it was all my responsibility and I'm "just not pastor material", which I don't think is true. So, "tough" is not adequate for describing my time in Danville. Heart-wrenching, yes. Traumatizing, yes. Devastating, yes. 

However, a few weeks ago, I thought of a good analogy that is brief yet infinitely more accurate than "tough." So here is what I can (and may) say in the future, when someone asks me about my experience in Danville:

"To say that my experience in that particular setting was 'tough' would be like saying that September 11, 2001 was an 'unfortunate event' for the United States of America."  In other words, my two years in Danville (particularly the final six months) were to my professional and persona lives what September 11 was to this nation: absolutely devastating, life-changing, and innocence-shattering.

Before anyone gets extremely offended by what I just said, please understand that I don't mean any disrespect to those who died as a result of 9-11, who lost family members in that tragedy, nor am I trying to make light of that horrible day. I am merely trying to use it as a comparison to my own experience, because I think it is an accurate comparison to the impact Danville had on my life and my family. I ran it by James almost as soon as I thought of it, and he (who walked with me, supported, defended, and loved me through the whole experience, and was also wounded himself) totally agreed.

Here are some of the similarities I've thought of:

• The 9-11 attacks totally blindsided the US; their success was a result of our defenses being down and us not expecting (and not being prepared for) anything of that scale. I had no clue what was going on "behind the scenes" at Saint John's because I was inexperienced and (for the first year at least) they put on a very good front.  
• The 9-11 attacks also shattered our innocence (whatever innocence a 225 year old nation has), damaged our ability to trust others, and left us feeling rather bruised, battered, and grief-stricken. By the time I left St. John's in May 2008, I felt so bruised and battered that it took me ten months of reflection and sharing with my CPE colleagues and supervisor before I had reached the place where I could forgive certain church members, the congregation as a whole, and even myself for what happened. 
• In the aftermath of 9-11, we felt that other nations were not supporting us. Remember how we appealed to various "allies" for help in tracking down Al-Qaeda (sp?) and many of them turned us down? Remember the story about "freedom fries" instead of "French Fries" in Capitol Hill cafeterias? While I did have several clergy colleagues who reached out to me during my experience and after I left, I felt abandoned by the Annual Conference. My marriage was suffering, my self-confidence was at an all-time low, I was seriously questioning my calling to ordained ministry, and I was constantly beating myself up over what happened, but all I sensed from the Annual Conference was...recrimination, for lack of a better term. 
• While we may have healed from 9-11, we are forever changed and things will never be the same. I don't think this is necessarily all bad, but it's a shame that we have to go to these lengths to protect ourselves. Think of how air travel has changed...I feel like I have mostly processed through things and have experienced healing. However, if I ever return to the local church as a pastor, I will take certain measures to protect myself and my family so we're not so vulnerable again, and so I'm more aware of potential "bombs."
• Although it's possible that September 11 might have been less catastrophic with a little more diligence on the part of the U.S. (some of the things we do now, for example), it was by no means "our fault." Likewise, I've come to realize that accept that while I certainly hold some responsibility for the whole Saint John's debacle, there were many aspects that were out of my control and/or a result of pure circumstance (inexperience, being naive, losing my father-in-law, having a baby, being in a long-distance marriage, have postpartum depression, and my dog dying, among others). 

I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the gist. I haven't talked much about St. John's since I left, but I may write the occasional post about what happened and how I've grown/processed since then. I confess that I still have some anger/frustration towards certain groups and individuals who I feel "dropped the ball" at one time or another. I've forgiven, but I'm still struggling with "letting it go."

Part 2 or The Part Where I Share My Feelings

If you know my mom at all, you know that she did not simply tell me, "I have breast cancer. I'm having an MRI tomorrow and major surgery right around your due date, bye!" Of course not, because my mom is much more...maternal and selfless than that. After giving me some details and answering some of my questions, we spent at least fifteen minutes discussing something else, namely how the heck James and I would handle the whole childbirth, hospital, and first few days at home since our plan had now been shredded to smithereens.

I have no doubt that Mom was upset/worried about the deadly disease coursing through her body, and that her birthday had been RUINED (she had just heard from the oncologist that morning). However, outwardly she seemed much more concerned about how we were going to cope and about brainstorming ideas, most of which involved calling James' mom as soon as I knew this was "it" and hiring someone else to stay with Susanna until James' mom arrived here (she lives 4-5 hours away). We also discussed me pleading with my OB to induce a week early.


We ended the conversation not really resolving anything, but agreed that we had plenty of time AND I kept reminding her that LOTS of people give birth without having families nearby to support them. If they could do it, so could we.


So, in my mind, my thoughts for the next few hours sort of went like this (interspersed with crying jags, of course): "My mom has cancer...she's having major surgery right when I'm supposed to have my baby...this isn't fair, I want my Mommy...calm down, Patti, it's just a few weeks, you'll get through it...right, after all, I can get through this...it's just temporary. Gotta think of the long-term, put everything in perspective...Stop being so selfish...After all, she's the one with cancer and facing major surgery...HOLY CRAP! My mommy has cancer! People die from cancer! She might die! I can handle her not being around for a few weeks, but what if she DIES? MY MOM CAN'T DIE! (Ignoring the fact that I have a husband and numerous friends who have already lost a parent) My children have to know her! Deep breaths...calm down...this is breast cancer which has a much lower mortality rate than say, pancreatic cancer. Mom had a clean mammogram in August, this was probably caught early. She'll have the surgery, maybe chemo and radiation, and chances are that by this fall, it will all be over. Right. Be positive." What also helped (and continues to help) is the knowledge that Mom is no weak sister. She is a fighter, a survivor, and if breast cancer does kill her eventually, it will not be without her fighting it with all she has in her.

By the time James got home several hours later, I was mostly in control of myself. The next day, we found out that Greg would be coming two weeks early, anyway, so that issue was resolved, and Mom's exclamation of "God is good!" when I told her that news was priceless.

So, the spring was kind of sucky (most of all for Mom, since she was the patient) because it was (in my eyes, anyway) a roller coaster of good news, bad news, and the accompanying emotions. Mom has the rarest, most aggressive kind of breast cancer possible. It's actually highly irregular for a Caucasian woman in her 60s to get this type. But Mom's always been an achiever, and our family tends to be "health care trendsetters", anyway. She had four surgeries in three months (I'm going to respect her privacy and leave out the details) and began chemo in June. She's responding well to the chemo, and is part of a clinical trial for a promising new chemo drug. Things aren't the same as they were a year ago, but I'm adjusting to the "new normal" and thankful that between God's grace and healing, the miracle of modern medicine (and the gifts of her oncologist), and Mom's own strength and determination, there is s a very, very strong possibility that Mom will be around long enough to see my children grow up and most importantly, for them to know her, make memories with her, and remember her when she does die, whenever that may be.

I will probably continue to write about this from time to time. Keep in mind that I'm writing from MY perspective, so I'm not speaking for my mother (I can't do that, since I'm not her). My posts will likely be about my thoughts, feeling, and experiences, and will have very little actual details about Mom. If you want details, ask my mom. Ditto for wanting to know her perspective on things. I'm not planning on giving any blow-by-blow accounts of her condition without her express permission.

Of course, Mom covets your prayers, as does the rest of my family. Prayers are always welcome.

So what if my day was ruined? It was her BIRTHDAY (Part 1)

It was January 27, 2010. My mother's birthday. I was 36 weeks pregnant with Greg, and had a hankering for Taco Bell. So, I loaded Susanna into the car and drove through Taco Bell to get a double decker taco with guacamole and no tomatoes. I was pulling out of the drive-thru when my phone rang. I saw from the Caller ID that it was my mom. I answered, wished her Happy Birthday, and she asked if I was home. I said no, that Susanna and I were out and about. She asked me to call her when I got home. I agreed, and we hung up.

Immediately, my brain went into overdrive. My mom and I frequently talk on the phone while in the car, so her wanting to wait to talk until I got home meant that SOMETHING WAS UP. I latched onto the real possibility that she had bad news to tell me, and spent the next fifteen minutes (as I drove home and then put Susanna down for a nap) wondering what was wrong. Obviously not an emergency involving her, my dad, or my brother. If that had been the case, she would have told me immediately so I could head right to...wherever. My dad would probably be the one of call me if it involved him. Was something going on with Bart (my brother)? One of my aunts or uncles or cousins? A close family friend? I didn't really think about the possibility that what my mother had to share involved HERSELF. After all, she was in great health, exercised, ate well, and looked and acted like someone 10-15 years younger than her true age. I had no doubt that she would live well into her 90s and be around to watch my children grow up, maybe even be able to see Susanna and Greg get married to their respective spouses and meet her future great-grandchildren.

Within five minutes of calling my mom back, those expectations were suddenly and excruciatingly colored with doubt. Mom told me that she had breast cancer and was scheduled for an MRI the next day and a mastectomy on February 25, which just happened to be the day after my due date.

Once we hung up, I spent the next hour sobbing uncontrollably, and even once I calmed myself down, I cried on and off for the rest of the afternoon.

(To Be Continued)

Seven Quick Takes Friday, Long Overdue Edition

1. Hi out there (waves and smiles guiltily)! OK, so it's been a while since I've posted. Probably all of my readers have stopped checking the blog and given up on me. But I'm back! And I have at least three future posts brewing! And maybe more! So, there. Come back, blog readers, come back!

2. Part of the reason that I haven't posted in so long is that I now have two children. And as those of you with two (or more) children know, 1+1 DOES NOT = 2. No, it's more like one plus one equals 20, or something like that. I had no clue how EASY my life was with only one child. Just like I had no clue how easy my life was before I had children.

3. In case you're curious, we are DONE with the procreation thing. I love Greg and Susanna, thank God for them every day, and am so delighted that we had two children. However, James and I mutually decided that for us, two children was enough. And that decision was made final in June at a urologist's office in Virginia Beach. (:

4. My children are very similar in some ways, but very different in others. They clearly resemble each other, are both somewhat stubborn, and have excellent appetites. But there are plenty of differences...An example is the sleep issue. Susanna was sleeping eight hours at night by the time she was six weeks old (don't hate me, please). I did not expect Greg to do THAT, because it's pretty rare. He did show promise, though; he was sleeping ten-hour stretches at three months. However, that screeched to a halt at the four-month mark, when he decided that it was way cooler to sleep for only two or three hours at a time. He's gotten better since then (we regularly get at least a 5-7 hour stretch each night), but I spent most of the summer in an exhausted haze, chugging Coke like it was water and craving sleep like an addict craves their next fix. It's a good thing he's cute and smiles adoringly at me several times a day. He's a happy baby, although his first few months were tough due to infant reflux. He still takes medicine for it, but it seems to be much more controlled now.

5. Besides the two children thing, this winter/spring/summer has been somewhat emotionally stressful for me and my family because someone I love dearly was diagnosed with a MAJOR HEALTH ISSUE in January. Two weeks before Greg's birth, as a matter of fact. I'll talk about that later, in much more detail. Don't worry; no one is dying (as far as we know).

6. I'm still doing my very very part-time chaplain gig for Bon Secours Hampton Roads. I love the work, I love the chaplains in both Spiritual Care departments (I work at two hospitals), and I love the hospitals themselves. The facilities are not nearly as nice as those at Riverside, but I've found that the staff is friendlier, more caring, and generally has a much higher view of chaplains than at Riverside. I'm seriously considering staying in the chaplaincy field and not going back to the local church. Problem is, the job market for chaplains is kinda tight, especially if you want to stay in one geographical area (which I do).

7. Susanna turned three at the end of August and started preschool a week later. She's attending a preschool run by our church, and we've been very pleased so far (and she loves it, which is also important). She is talking a blue streak and it seems like her vocabulary doubles every day. She is still not potty trained, but we're working on it and know that it will happen someday, and hopefully that someday will be soon! My parents say that she is the "spitting image" of me when I was her age. Susanna is, however, much much taller than I was. She has never gone below the 75th percentile for height, and at her three-year checkup was 39.5" tall and 36 lbs (both 90th percentile). She wears size 4 clothing easily and we're probably going to have to convert her bed from the toddler bed to the full-size bed (she has one of those convertible cribs that is currently in the "toddler bed" mode) within the next year.

And that's all for now, folks! Have a great Friday!

To Make Up For Seven Months of No Posts...PICTURES!

Greg at seven months old!

Susanna on her first day of preschool!

Susanna riding a tricycle

My two beautiful children!

My second wedding (as an officiant)! Me with Kris (groom) and Laura (bride).

Gregory James

Greg arrived at 2:07 p.m. on February 9. He weighed 6 lbs, 15 oz and was 19 1/4" long. Labor and delivery were quick (six hours from when they started the Pitocin to delivery) and largely uneventful. We had a little scare with jaundice and weight loss (he lost 12 oz in three days), but a weekend of nursing/pumping/supplementing with pumped milk helped him gain some of that weight back. At his two week checkup, Greg weighed 6 lbs, 12 oz, so he had gained back most of what he lost.

Susanna is doing well with being a big sister. She has her jealous moments, but largely seems to love Greg and shows concern for him. She likes to go into his room and visit him.

James took three weeks off (his company gives two weeks paternity leave, and he took a week of vacation), which was a huge blessing. He went back to work yesterday, and I'm adjusting to being alone with them during the day.

Breastfeeding is going much better this time than with Susanna, largely thanks to the incredible lactation consultants at our local hospital. I'm using a nipple shield and still pumping 3-4 times a day, but at least he's nursing most of the time. I rented a breast pump for the first month, to make sure that my milk supply would be well-established. It is...my freezer is rapidly filling up!

Tomorrow's the Big Day

I saw my OB this morning and had our third non-stress test, which Greg passed. I am about 2-3 cm dilated and "somewhat" effaced (I guess this OB doesn't do percentages). We're to report to L&D before 7am so the doc can come in and break my water. Then they'll hook me up to Pitocin (and many people who have been induced tell me that I'll soon be screaming for an epidural) and hopefully a baby will come out "the usual way" by dinnertime, if not sooner.

I would rather have gone closer to 40 weeks and would rather go into labor naturally, like I did with Susanna. But this extra fluid has me fairly uncomfortable, poses risks for Greg, and my doctor has assured me that with the additional factor of Greg being potentially larger than Susanna, inducing me at 38 weeks (according to my original dates) is best for both of us. So I'm OK with the induction.

We covet your prayers tomorrow, and I'll update as soon as I can. Almost everyone who reads this blog is either on Twitter or Facebook, so you may hear about the birth multiple times. Of course, there will be the isolated person (on Twitter, Facebook, and the e-mail list that I'll send out) who, two weeks from now says to me, "Oh, I didn't know you had a baby..." Sigh...

Also pray for Susanna. Her world is about to be rocked, and I don't think she (despite all the preparation) has a clue.

Well, That Was Unexpected...

I had an OB appointment today. They did an ultrasound to check the level of amniotic fluid and Greg's estimated size. It's common with this practice. Anyway, Greg is a little on the large side. He is currently estimated at 7 lbs 2 oz. He also has a lot of amniotic fluid, which while not a HUGE deal, could cause "cord issues" because he has more room to maneuver.

So, Greg and I will be going in for non-stress tests every Monday and Thursday to make sure that he's doing OK. Then, I have a scheduled induction on February 9. That's a Tuesday. That's TWELVE DAYS from now.

Yeesh!!

Flakes of the World, Unite!

On a day when I REALLY needed a laugh, I stumbled upon this:

The Complete Flake's Guide to Getting Things Done

The first few paragraphs are what made me laugh, because it describes me perfectly. Anyway, enjoy if you're a flake or love someone who is a flake.

Same Mommy, Different Pregnancies

In general, I've found my pregnancy with Greg to be much, much easier than my pregnancy with Susanna. There are a few possible reasons for this. First, I've carried him mostly through the fall and winter and not in the heat of summer. Second, I have less stress in my life this time around (I'm not a pastor and while my grandmother's death at week eight made me sad for a while, it affected me less than Bill's death did when I was 24 weeks pregnant). Here's a breakdown of what's different and the same with my pregnancies so far:

Different:
-Greg made me throw up for most of the first trimester. With Susanna, I only threw up twice; the rest of the time I was simply nauseous.
-I've only gained 17 lbs so far with Greg, so anticipate my total weight gain to be somewhere around 20-22 lbs. With Susanna, I gained probably close to 40 lbs. Of course, I wasn't chasing around a two-year-old then.
-My blood pressure has stayed well within normal range this time. With Susanna, I had elevated blood pressure from week 20 on, and I'm pretty sure that I was borderline pre-ecclampsia towards the end.
-No swelling whatsoever with Greg (knock on wood), but with Susanna EVERYTHING was swollen (ankles, feet, hands) from the third trimester onward. Again, I think the heat had something to do with it.
-I had to take the three-hour gestational diabetes test with Susanna, and it was VERY CLOSE to being positive. With Greg, my one-hour test was well within normal limits.
-I feel less cumbersome and have more energy this time than with Susanna, although I think the weather is a big factor.
-I think I'm carrying Greg lower than I did Susanna. Or at least differently. Maternity pants that fit fine last time don't really fit this time...they pretty much fall down. On the other hand, my pair of "fat pants" still fits...at 35 weeks. It's hard to describe, but it's been sort of frustrating, because I have about three pairs of pants that I am comfortable in, and the rest require constant adjustment.
-I have now had two UTI's with Greg, and had none with Susanna.

Similarities:
-I had bronchitis in the third trimester with both of them.
-I was exhausted during the first trimester with both of them.
-I'm craving corn nuggets and other nutritious food (HAHA) with both.
-Tons of Braxton-Hicks contractions from about 26 weeks onward.

It will be interesting to see how Greg's labor compares with Susanna's!

The Second Kid Gets the Shaft, Indeed

Greg is due on either February 24 (according to my dates) or March 3 (according to my ultrasounds). He'll come when he wants to, but he's coming soon. The good news? Right now, he does have someplace to sleep...a nice Pack and Play with a bassinet that his loving sister is handing down to him. The bad news? He doesn't really have a nursery right now. His nursery is our office, which is still fairly full with my desk and bookshelves, all of which need to be moved downstairs, where our new office/living room is located. The nursery situation will change very soon, because Greg's furniture (ordered YESTERDAY from Babies R Us) should arrive within two weeks. It's this pattern: http://www.babiitalia.com/html/bi_pts.html

Thanks to an awesome sale and a coupon, we were able to buy the crib, combo dresser/changing table AND a five-drawer dresser for the same price as just the crib and the combo dresser (our original plan). And even once we throw in the bedding (not purchased, but we know what sort of theme we want), mattress, and bed rails, we will have spent SIGNIFICANTLY less than we did on Susanna's furniture (we didn't get as good of a deal with her stuff). We're moving the glider from her room to Greg's room, so didn't have to worry about that.

I'll confess to feeling slightly guilty that here I am, 34-35 weeks pregnant, and just beginning to put the nursery together. At this point with Susanna, we had everything set up (for the most part), clothes were washed and put in drawers, and I may even have had my hospital bag packed. However, I also wasn't chasing around a two-year-old while in my third trimester of pregnancy. And since Greg doesn't really have many clothes yet (we've bought him two outfits; our friend Shelly bought him a couple cute 3-6 month outfits), it's not like it's a big deal that we have no place to put the clothes. Our friends Joel and Melissa (the ones we went to Disney with) have graciously offered to loan us their son's clothes (he's about a year older than Greg), but we need to pick them up. Which we'll do in the next few weeks. They also have a few things that we lent them and a few items of baby equipment that they're lending us.

Things we still need to buy:
-changing pad cover
-breast pump (I may rent one for the first few months...still deciding)
-Non-pink washcloths and towels
-bedding
-mattress
-Dreft
-Diapers
-Paint (and paint the room)
-A double stroller (I want to buy a Sit and Stand), but that can wait a few weeks. I've been looking for one on Craigslist and at local consignment shops, but have had no luck.

I could also use a new baby monitor, because...well, I just want a new baby monitor. Susanna's technically works fine, but the second parent unit died a while ago and I can't make it work with batteries, so it has to be plugged in all the time. We shall see. A new monitor is not as important as some of the other stuff I've mentioned.

Regardless of our lack of preparation, we are very excited to meet our little guy in a few weeks. I have an ultrasound on the 28th to check his size and the level of amniotic fluid, and I can't wait to get to "see" him again. I guess this time, we realize that Greg isn't going to care if he doesn't have a perfect nursery from day one, or if he has to use his sister's hand-me-downs. And I definitely don't think either of the above will affect his acceptance into Harvard. :)

Reflection on Disney Trip

Overall, we had a really great time at Disney, and do plan on returning sometime in the next few years. The company was great (thankfully, we are still friends with Joel and Melissa, which is a relief) and it was nice to go with people who knew the ropes, so to speak. While it's certainly possible to just show up, buy tickets, and do Disney for a few days, it's even nicer to have a strategy, avoid the peak crowd times, and have nifty experiences like Ohana and the character breakfasts (which often require reservations months in advance). I was pretty impressed by the overall customer service, the quality of the food, and the cleanliness of the whole complex. It really is a pretty amazing place and they do a phenomenal job of crowd control without appearing obvious. While it is expensive, I do think you get a lot of bang for your buck, if you pick and choose carefully.

The negative parts of our experience were largely outside of human control. First, the very hot and humid weather sort of put a damper on things. We had planned the visit for late October in order to avoid the heat, but basically wound up arriving during a heat wave. We had expected 70s and low 80s (and wouldn't have been unhappy with 50s or 60s), but wound up with high 80s and equally high humidity. Second, there were the stomach issues the men had for most of the trip. It's no fun being on vacation and being sick to your stomach. Third, Melissa and I each came down with something on our last day. Mine was just a bad cold, but as she found out upon returning home, hers was H1N1, and Josh wound up getting it, too. Then Susanna came down with an ear infection and James' stomach thing came back along with a sinus infection...so it took us about two weeks to recover from Disney, health-wise. Our friends have been passing back flu and colds and whatnot for the past six weeks, so we actually haven't seen them since getting off the plane. We're hoping to see them next weekend.

The bottom line? We had a good time (I had a great time, but James' experience was marred), are thankful for the experience (and to Joel and Melissa for their DVC points, because otherwise we either wouldn't have been able to go OR would have had to stay off-site), and hope to return sometime in the not-too-distant future. I definitely want to experience more of the parks (particularly Epcot and the Animal Kingdom, since we didn't see much of either), James wants to go on another Segway tour, and we both want to go back to Ohana and Biergarten (and I want to take James to Boma, since he missed out). Next time, I won't be pregnant (we've decided that two kids is enough for us) so I can go on roller coasters and we're thinking about aiming for a mid-December/early January trip to avoid crowds and hot weather. And if we can afford it, then I'd like to be able to spend a few more days...to have a couple of "resort/chill" days built in, where we simply enjoy the resort, rest, play mini-golf, go shopping, etc. And we would love to take a day or two and go to Sea World and Universal Studios.

By the way? While Disney is very family-friendly, it's also a fun place for adults, too. So if you don't have kids, I still highly recommend it as a way to get in touch with your inner child.

Disney Trip Day 6: Magic Kingdom, Trip Home, and Even More Illness

On Friday morning, we woke up early (thanks to our pint-sized alarm) and began packing up the room. Our plan was to check out, load up the van with our luggage, and spend time at the Magic Kingdom before heading to the airport around 4pm.

The night before, I had begun feeling the beginnings of a cold, and by morning it was coming at me full force. I was still feeling well enough to do stuff, and wasn't about to waste our last day at Disney. Melissa had woken up with a low-grade fever, so she wasn't feeling that great, either. We ate breakfast, got the van packed, checked out, and took the boat to the Magic Kingdom.

The crowds were worse on Friday than they had been our entire visit. The main reason for this was our bad timing that day; the MK was the park with "extra magic hours" that day. Basically, anyone staying in a WDW resort could come an hour early and/or stay three hours late. Melissa had designed our "touring plan" so we'd AVOID going to a park on the day it had extra magic hours. However, things had gotten mixed up between illnesses and such, so there we were. It wasn't horribly crowded, but more so than it had been on Tuesday.

Our first stop was the Monsters Inc Laugh Floor, because a) it was air conditioned and b) Susanna and James hadn't experienced it yet. After that, we headed over to Frontierland/Adventureland. I had us stop at near the castle to have one of the Disney photographers take a picture of James, Susanna, and me (it's the one on the blog). Melissa and Josh waited for us while we did that (it took maybe five minutes). Once we were done, Melissa said that they had to go back to the hotel, because the heat was just too much. We agreed to meet back at the hotel later that afternoon.

The heat, and James' still-recovering stomach, proved too much for us, too. We didn't do much after that; James went on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and all three of us went on the Pirates of the Carribbean ride (not the best choice for a two-year-old, but it was at least air-conditioned). Then we decided to look for lunch...and discovered that there was pretty much nowhere in the MK (or at least, near us) where James could find bland food. So...we decided to call it a day and head back to the resort. We ate lunch at Roaring Canyon, and Josh and Melissa joined us about halfway through the meal (she had eaten already, but had a drink). Then, we decided to drive around the WDW complex and look at Disney Vacation Club properties from the comfort of the van (James and I were, and still are, contemplating DVC ownership, but can't afford it right now). Then, we headed to the airport. Several long lines later (it took us almost an hour to get through security with an infant, a toddler, two adults, two car seats, two strollers, and several carry-ons), we arrived at our gate, boarded the plane, and finally arrived back home.

Tomorrow I'll provide a brief reflection on our Disney experience and share some of the aftermath (health-wise) of our Disney vacation.

Disney Trip Day 5: Animal Kingdom and Cape May

We started off Thursday pretty early, taking the bus to the Animal Kingdom. We had reservations at 8:05 for a character breakfast at Tusker House in the AK. For some reason, the AK doesn't open its parking lot until right before it opens...at 9am. Therefore, we had to take the bus, which wasn't a bad experience at all. James didn't feel like waking up that early (the only reason Susanna and I went was because she was WIDE AWAKE at 6:30 am), so he stayed at the resort with plans to meet us later.

It was, however, a very very very hot day, possibly the most humid day of our trip. I was sweating by the time we got to the restaurant. The meal was delicious and the characters were dressed in safari gear. Susanna began to warm up to the characters, and even managed to not scream or cry when we took a picture with Donald.

After breakfast, we touched base with James, who was awake and getting ready to head to the park. The rest of us did a few things to amuse ourselves while waiting for him. First, we went on the Safari ride. It was awesome, and while there were signs saying pregnant women shouldn't go on it, I saw no justification for those warnings...at least for those of us with normal, healthy pregnancies. It was a great way to see a bunch of animals, and fairly tame. After the safari ride, we headed over to the kids area and went to the Lion King show. Susanna loved that, because she loves music and dancing, and there was plenty of that. Once the show was over, James called me and said that he was at the front gate. Susanna and I went to meet him, while Joel and Melissa took Josh to meet some characters.

Side note: I should mention that Melissa made Susanna and Josh each three creative autograph books, with pages for every possible character, including sections for the two character breakfasts. However, due to Susanna's fear of/timidity around the characters, I decided not to force her to meet characters. Therefore, her autograph books are still largely blank, while Josh's have many more signatures. I figure we can get more autographs next time we go to Disney.

After we met James, we went on the safari ride for a second time, so James could have the experience. It was just as good the second time around. Then, we headed over to another part of the park and the non-pregnant people went on Expedition Everest, a roller coaster. I watched the kids, who pretty much looked at me and each other (we joke that Susanna and Josh are besotted with each other) . After the non-preggos returned, we decided to get lunch outside of the park, because a) it was really really hot and b) none of the counter service restaurants in the AK are air conditioned.

So, we decided to eat at Mara, the snack bar at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. We took the bus over to the AK Lodge, ate a delicious meal, and headed back to our resort for rest and to do some laundry. After a few hours of air conditioning and napping, we felt ready to head out again.

Our dinner reservations were at Cape May, which is a seafood buffet at the Beach Club resort. It was yummy, but not the best food (or the best service) we had during our vacation. James, unfortunately, began feeling sick towards the end of the meal, so we cut out a little bit early. Joel also had to get up very early the next day. He had a class on Friday afternoon (he's getting his master's degree) and his flight left pretty early on Friday morning. The rest of us weren't flying out until 6pm or so on Friday.

Up next: our last day at Disney and H1N1 begins to show its ugly face.

Disney Trip Day 4: Mickey, and Segways, and Boma, Oh My!

On Wednesday, Susanna and I woke up bright and early to attend the Chef Mickey's breakfast at the Contemporary Resort. It's a character breakfast, so we got to interact with Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, and Pluto. I think Donald may have been there, too. The food was scrumptious, and Susanna wore her Belle dress (a hand-me-down from cousin Kaitlin), which led to us and everyone else referring to her as "Princess Susanna". (NOTE: We had decided to NOT do the Princess Breakfast because it costs a lot more, and we wanted to wait until she might have a chance of really remembering it.) Susanna's reaction to the characters ranged from ambivalence to absolute terror, but Josh absolutely loved them.

After breakfast, we headed back to the resort to check on James, who had stayed behind because he was feeling pretty rotten. We were hoping he would be feeling slightly better, because as their birthday present to James, Joel and Melissa had booked a Segway tour of Fort Wilderness for both of "the boys" and it was scheduled for 11am. James is a trooper, so he grabbed his Gatorade and went on the tour. While the boys were exploring Ft Wilderness, Melissa and I took the kids to Downtown Disney and did some shopping. We also ate at Earl of Sandwich, which was quite tasty. Once we ate, the boys were done with their tour and Susanna was fading fast (she needed a nap, and was getting very fussy), so we left. We picked up the boys and Susanna and I went back to the resort for a nap while Melissa took everyone else back to Downtown Disney for lunch (the boys hadn't eaten yet) and more shopping.

That evening, we had dinner reservations at Boma, which was at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. James' stomach wasn't feeling up to African food and Joel wasn't hungry yet (they hadn't eaten until 2pm, and it was just after 6pm), so Melissa and I took the kids to dinner and left the boys at the resort. It was a buffet, but Disney buffets are in a class by themselves. The quality and variety of the food is excellent, and Boma was no exception. I could have stayed and eaten all night, but our kids wouldn't allow that, and I think Melissa (the driver) would have gotten a little impatient, too. Susanna's favorite part was the fresh fruit, including strawberries and cataloupe (her faves). If you go, I highly recommend the carrot-ginger soup and zebra domes, among many other items.

Once we rolled ourselves back to our rooms, we said goodnight and headed to bed/our own devices. The next day we were planning on another character breakfast and some time in the Animal Kingdom.

Disney Trip Day 3: Another One Bites the Dust

Since we didn't have to wake up early for the launch, we slept until we woke up. Of course, for Susanna that was no later than 7:00 a.m. It was James' birthday, so I let him sleep in while I got her and myself ready. Once that was accomplished, we headed down to breakfast. Sometime around then, James woke up and elected to spend the morning at the resort rather than head to the Magic Kingdom. Susanna and I met up with Melissa and Josh (Joel was better, but resting) and the four of us headed to the MK.

We spent a few hours at MK, mostly in the Fantasy Land area. We went on a bunch of rides, including the carousel, Dumbo, the Pooh ride, and Mickey's Philharmagic. We were getting hot and decided to head back to the resort for lunch and rest. We met up with the boys at Whispering Canyon, ate lunch, and then the three Moneys headed to our room, changed into swimming attire, and spent some time at the pool.

After our pool time, we went back to the room and took a quick nap. Around 3pm we reunited with Joel, Melissa, and Josh and headed for Epcot. We had dinner reservations in Epcot and wanted to spend some time in the park before dinner. Melissa and I took the kids to the Finding Nemo ride and Talking with Crush while the boys went on Test Track. We then joined the boys and headed over to the Land pavillion. The non-pregnant people went on Soarin' and I watched the kids, which was fun, since Susanna kept playing peek-a-boo with Josh.

When we left the building, we discovered the first disaster of the night. During the half hour or so we were inside, it had POURED. Strollers weren't allowed in the building, so we (and everyone else) had parked our strollers outside. The fabric was SOAKED, so the strollers were unusable until they dried out. We removed the fabric covers and I thought I could use a hand dryer to remove the worst of the wetness. Of course, so many paper companies sponsor stuff at Epcot that there were only paper towels in the bathroom, not hand dryers. So much for that idea. So, with a non-walking nine-month-old and a newly walking two-year-old, we headed for Germany in the World Showcase...on foot. Susanna decided walking was overrated after about ten minutes, so James and I alternated between carrying her and pushing the stroller. Joel and Melissa didn't have it much better, since Josh wasn't walking at all.

We finally arrived in Germany, where we had reservations at Biergarten for James' birthday dinner. We took the stroller covers inside, hung them up on our chairs so they could air dry, and attacked the buffet. It was scrumptious, with lots of German foods. As I was going back for the third time (for dessert), James cornered me and told me that he was feeling really sick to his stomach. We needed to leave, ASAP. So, I shoveled down some apple strudel, we asked for and paid the check, and got the heck out of Dodge.

Of course, getting the heck out of Dodge isn't as easy as it sounds when you have sopping wet strollers (we had been in the restaurant for maybe half an hour), a sick birthday boy, a recovering sicko, two young children, and a pregnant woman. It probably took us 45 minutes to get back to the main park entrance, maybe longer. Melissa had to help me out at the end by carrying Susanna, because my back and hips were killing me.

We got back to the car and stopped at a convenience store (yes, they have one in the WDW complex) to get James some Gatorade. When we got back to the resort, he went to lie down and I hurried to the gift shop, praying fervently they would have some Gas-X (the convenience store didn't have any). Thankfully, the resort store did have Gas-X. James took some and we all went to bed.

Up Next: Chef Mickey's, Segway Tour, Downtown Disney, and Boma.

Disney Trip Day 2: The First One Falls

We woke up Monday morning. and began to get ready to go to Hollywood Studios for the day. As we began to head to breakfast, Melissa and Josh came out from their room with some bad news. Joel had been sick to his stomach the previous night, and obviously was not going to be joining us that morning. So the five of us headed to breakfast at the snack bar and then drove over to Hollywood Studios (the car was a nice thing to have, because we didn't have to deal with waiting for the buses with two small children).

It was already hot when we arrived. By "hot" I mean in the mid-80s with probably 60% humidity. Within a few hours, it was easily 90 degrees. The weather stayed like that our entire visit, which made things a little more difficult, especially for the pregnant woman. We went to the Playhouse Disney attraction, which was fun for the kids AND air-conditioned. We also met Chip and Dale and Josh (who at nine months had no fear of the characters) met the Little Einsteins. James went on the Aerosmith Roller Coaster while Melissa, the kids, and I hunted down Muppet paraphernalia for Bart. We did get FastPasses for "Toy Story Mania", but they weren't until 2:00 or so, and we had to leave before then. By noon, we were pretty toast between the heat and the walking. So, we headed back to the resort for lunch and rest.

After lunch, we ascertained that Joel was still not feeling well. He and Melissa had prepaid tickets to a wine-tasting event at the Japan area in Epcot. So they didn't waste a ticket, James went with Melissa while I stayed behind with the kids (since I obviously couldn't go wine-tasting). If you follow me on Twitter or are my Facebook friend, you probably saw me post something like, "my husband has ran off to Japan with another woman." Thankfully, despite being wooed with sake and sushi, James retained his senses and came back to me about three hours later.

Our plans for that night were to head to Epcot for the Food and Wine Festival, which is held every October. Joel was feeling slightly better, so all six of us headed out in the car. It was a very yummy experience; every few feet there was a different booth representing a different country, selling food and beverages from that country. I ate strawberry shortcake and crawfish etouffe from the U.S., a coconut shrimp stew from Chile, chicken souvlaki from Greece, and escargots en croute from France. The portions were sample-sized and cost between $3-6 a piece, so you could taste a bunch of stuff and not spend a fortune. The booths also sold samples of wine from the country, and of course Germany and the US had beer for sale, too.

Unfortunately, Joel began feeling worse as the night wore on, so we made a very quick lap around the World Showcase and headed back to the resort. We wanted to go to bed early anyway, because Melissa (who is, literally, a rocket scientist with NASA) had gotten us causeway tickets for the Aries launch down at the Kennedy Space Center. We needed to be awake at 3am to get ready and down there in time.

However, we had really underestimated how bad off poor Joel was. Within an hour of us returning to the resort, he had gotten much worse, clearly was not going to be able to go with us tomorrow, and Melissa decided (and we agreed) that it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone at the resort for most of the day while we went to Kennedy. It all worked out, though, because the Aries launch was postponed because of heavy fog. So if we had gone down there, it would have been an exercise in futility.

Coming tomorrow: Tuesday's report, including James' birthday, yet another illness, and the Magic Kingdom.