I Just Can't Believe It...

Please keep my friend, S, and her family in your prayers. Her husband, J, died very suddenly on Friday. He was only 55 and appeared to be in great health. I just found out this afternoon. S and J were a clergy couple and were a great source of support to me during my time in Danville. In fact, S is currently the pastor of a co-operative parish that includes the church that I served for two years.

This is one of those times when I'm reminded that our lives can end at any time and for any reason. I'm thanking God that J has claimed the promise of the resurrection and is in heaven, but I'm grieving that I and so many others have lost a friend. Most importantly, I'm feeling sad for S who has lost a husband, four grown children who have lost a father, and a church who has lost its pastor.

Pray that they will feel God's presence surrounding them, and that God will give them comfort, peace, and strength. Also pray for S's congregations, that God will show them how to support her and her family in this time of intense grief...and that they will be a strong source of support for her.

United Breaks Guitars

Kinda catchy, and a good way to make lemonade out of lemons. Apparently, United began changing their tune once this video was released.

My Pet Peeve: Inadequate (or Non-existent) Pastoral Care

One of my fellow residents has been doing a hospice rotation for the past four months. She's been visiting the patient (a woman in her 40s) and family every week. This morning, the woman died after being in the "actively dying" state for several days. She is a member of a local congregation, although obviously has not been able to attend due to health reasons. Guess how often her pastor visited her? NEVER, according to what her family told Sandy (my colleague). Literally, he never visited her. Over the past week, Sandy has called him multiple times, updating him on the patient's condition and requesting that he visit the patient and family. He finally did so on Sunday, but only stayed for a few minutes. They hadn't heard from him since then.

Hearing this (and other stories of pastors willingly neglecting their parishioners) makes me want to throw something. If someone is ill and unable to make it to church, at least attempt to visit them once a month. If a family is in crisis (which this family was/is) and someone is rapidly declining, then more frequent visits (once every few weeks) and at least a weekly phone call to "check in" seems to be in order. Most importantly, when a family is in the "hours versus days" stage of the dying process, you owe it to them to make a substantial visit (more than ten minutes!) and be available by phone.

Oh yeah, and if you know** a parishioner is in the hospital for more than overnight, try and visit them at least once. If it's a long stay, I think once a week is reasonable...more if it's a critical situation.

Congregations often have ridiculous expectations of pastoral care. SJ thought that my monthly visitation of shut-ins was inadequate, and wanted me to visit if someone had an ingrown toenail. They complained to the DS that I "didn't visit as a pastor should." My biggest mistake was not laying out expectations with them from the beginning on how much visitation I would do and how often I would visit. I will do that with my next church. But I will say this; I visited our shut-ins once a month and was pretty vigilant about hospital visitation. If I missed someone, then I'd make every effort to visit them soon after they arrived home. I had no funerals/deaths while I was at SJ (amazingly enough), but the few times someone had a member of their family die, I tried to visit them within a few weeks, or at least have a phone conversation.

So my message to those of you who are serving congregations; please, please do whatever you can to keep tabs on your people and to be there for them in times of need. If you can't make it for some reason, send a member of your lay leadership in your stead.

Oh yeah, and make sure that at least a few of your key leaders have your cell phone number, if you don't publish it for everyone to see. Even better, leave an emergency contact number on the voicemail (Yes, I realize you might get some weird phone calls. Deal with it). It's really aggravating for us chaplains to attempt to call a pastor on behalf of an individual in the ER or in surgery, and have to simply leave a message on the voicemail, hoping that it will be heard. Or be told that "it's his/her day off...no I don't have a cell phone number...I can take a message...", etc.

I'd also like to hear your perspectives on this topic. What are your guidelines and practices for visitation? For publishing for cell phone number?

**I am fully aware that sometimes pastors are the last to know about hospitalizations/illnesses/crises/shut-ins, etc. It's the responsibility of the individual/family to inform the pastor about these sorts of events. However, once the pastor does know about them, then he/she needs to provide proper pastoral care.**

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

Estimated due date: February 24, 2010. We were surprised, but are very excited. Praying that all goes well...

Heating & A/C Redux

Well, it's been a few weeks now since the new heat and a/c was installed. The install took about 7 hours back on the 19th and pretty much went without a problem. Here's pictures of the new system:

The leftmost picture is the new 95% efficient ICS furnace with the air purifier to the right with the blue light. The middle is the 16 SEER heat pump, and the rightmost is the Infinity Control Thermostat. All of it is computer controlled essentially (all digital design and learns the most efficient way to run based on prior cycles).

The blue light of the air purifier was a problem several days after the install. It basically meant it was not working. The air filter of course still works, but the unit works by electrocuting the bacteria/virii before it hits the filter. Hence, the filter was catching live pathogens and not killing them. Well, I noticed this for about a week and I called 7 Services back. They actually came the same day, did some testing to make sure just the light has stopped working, and then went off to order the replacement part. (Appears to be an unusual defect, the first they had with it for a year.) They called today to say the part was in (about 1 week later), and replaced it the same day. I'm pretty impressed with the company so far, given they have come on the same day twice to fix some relatively minor issues.

Well, the real verdict is the energy savings. Convienently enough, my new billing period started about one day before the install, so let's see how the savings added up:

kWh: 1489
Cost: $163

Last year, the cost was $156 for June 2008. However, that was at 2008 rates, which were $0.02 less per kWh, which is about a 20% increase in rates. If I adjust to 2009 rates, the same thing would have cost $185. So that's a $22 savings. It's also been unseasonably warm over the past month, so, we need to factor that. I'm still looking for some place that keeps good records on monthly averages, so maybe I can do this later. I bet I saved another $20 for that. So the grand total savings from if I hadn't upgraded: $42. That alone, could add up to close to $400/year when it's done. What will be nice is to see the natural gas bill next winter when I won't be paying $150-200 on gas + $120 for electric = $270-320 total utilities. If I'm paying $200 at most in winter instead (based on my estimate for a/c electricity usage in July), then I'm saving $70-120 for three months. Grand total possible : $610 - 760 /year.

So, the system cost over ten years: $10k - 1500 tax credit - 500 VNG rebate - $700*10 years = $1000 out of pocket when it is done. Of course if you adjust for natural gas going up in price, I bet the -$1000 dwindles to some nice positive number that makes the investment worth it. Of course, the system probably also added $5-7k to the house value if we ever move, so that is nice bonus.

Next Steps

My residency ends on August 31, and I've been discerning what to do after that. I decided not to throw my hat in the ring for an appointment this year. So, I've been looking for a chaplain job and planning on being a stay-at-home mom while looking/in case that doesn't happen. Apparently, the job market for healthcare chaplains is very competitive, and it doesn't help that I'm pretty tied to my current geographical area.

About a week ago, I came across a listing for a chaplain position at a local hospice. It's "flexipool" and very part-time (not quite sure what that means, but I'm not counting on more than 10 or so hours/week) but that's fine. I applied last Tuesday, received a phone call from HR on Thursday, and just today received a phone call from the actual department, saying they want to interview me. I know there are at least three others being considered, but I'm sort of excited and hoping that it works out. Pray with me! I'll keep you updated!

Let's Talk About Sex(uality), Baby

This is a post on a controversial topic, which is always sort of dangerous. However, I'm not shouting my opinion from a platform, but rather "thinking out loud" and inviting others to reflect with me and offer their insight. I invite comments and responses, but ask that you please not post knee-jerk, inflammatory reactions. We're intelligent adults. Let's act like it. Oh yeah, and please read the whole post before commenting. This is a journey...

I consider myself to be in the "moderate-but-leaning conservative" camp both socially and theologically. There are a few things I "lean left" on, such as capital punishment (I'm an enigma; I'm against the death penalty AND against abortion), but on most issues I'm either square in the middle or leaning a little to the right. I have spent a lot of time thinking, praying, reading, and reflecting on the issue of homosexuality. My denomination is embroiled in an increasingly intense debate on the role of practicing homosexuals in the church. Anyway, up until about a week ago, my response to the question, "where do you stand on that issue" would have been fairly confident. I believed (and still do feel) that based on my interpretation, the practice of homosexuality contradicts the witness of the scripture and Christian tradition. As a result, I would have said that that ordaining practicing homosexuals was not compatible with scripture/tradition, etc, etc. Keep in mind that I also believe that even heterosexual sex outside of marriage is incompatible with scripture, and that clergy are to be "celibate in singleness and faithful in marriage".

Anyway, my position on homosexuality has been challenged in the past week and it's left me in a tailspin of sorts. I feel like my world has been knocked on its axis. Last Tuesday, we had six new interns begin the summer CPE program. They'll be here full-time through July and August. There are four women, two men, one African-American, one Filipino-American, two Lutherans, one Methodist, one Presbyterian, one Episcopalian, and a Pentecostal. In addition to the racial and religious diversity, one of the interns is gay. This was confirmed this morning in a seminar, but I had suspected it last week, based on behavioral patterns and his response to a relationship question ("significant other" instead of specifying girlfriend/wife). So, now that my suspicions have been confirmed, I am really wrestling with myself and with views that I've held for a long time.

The crux of the matter is this; my position up until this point has been based on a fairly congitive discernment process and an utter lack of experience with homosexuals beyond a nodding acquaintance. All of a sudden, I encounter this engaging, gifted, and faithful young man who wants to serve Christ and His church and I find myself re-examining my position. I haven't seen Luther (hokey name, I know, but he's Lutheran and I don't want to use his real name) active in ministry yet, so I don't know anything about his gifts and graces, although I should know within a week or two. I'm assuming that Luther will demonstrate gifts for ministry and am wondering, "so what now?" All of a sudden this "issue" is reduced to one person who I genuinely like and admire, and I find myself doing of lot of thinking and, well...agonizing about God's grace, our sin, who God calls to ministry, standards of faithful living, sexuality, etc. One moment I'm worried about a "slippery slope" in terms of moral/ethical standards among the ordained and the next moment I'm reminded that the early Christians established that the character of the one administering the sacraments does not affect the validity of the sacraments. There's a Latin or Greek term for it...I forget.

Those are my thoughts...and where I am right now. I have no doubt that there is more to come. My biggest concern is that as I make this journey, no matter if my "position" changes or not, that I will be faithful to God's Spirit as he speaks to my heart, through others, and most importantly, through His Word.

To Churches: Do You Really Want New People?

In seminary, I took a class titled "Ethics of Hospitality." It was awesome, and really challenged and changed my view on Christian hospitality...inside and outside the church. Trust me, this stuff goes beyond coffee and donuts and being friendly. A great book on this subject (actually written by my professor) is Making Room by Christine Pohl.

Anyway, today my husband, daughter, and I visited another congregation. Our friends' son was being baptized, and we went to support them and celebrate with them. The actual baptism was lovely, but the rest of the experience left much to be desired. Upon arriving, we followed signs around the outside of the building directing us to the sanctuary. Upon arriving at that entrance, we found that the door was locked. It was 10:45 and the service began at 11. OK...so we went around to another entrance and found it unlocked. We walked through a very long hallway to the sanctuary door. There were no greeters and we hadn't seen any bulletins (when I asked a few minutes later, I found a few on a table in the hallway. Apparently the rest were in the narthex...right near the locked door. And yes, I did tell someone the door was locked.

There was very minimal interaction with the rest of the congregation (which was small---about 60 in attendance). We got a few comments on how pretty our daughter is, but that was it. No introductions or attempt to get to know us. The pastor merely shook our hand and asked us to come again...and that last part was muttered.

It was a traditional service and very subdued. I have nothing against traditional worship, as long as it doesn't feel like a funeral. This did, which is extremely sad since today was Pentecost. There was also very little attention paid to this day in the church calendar, which slightly annoyed me. They did celebrate the 55th anniversary of their church's founding, which apparently occurred the last Sunday in May.

I took my daughter to the nursery when she started fussing. There was an attendant in there with one other child, but she pretty much sat in the chair and made no attempt to actually engage Nora. There was no sign-in sheet or anything along those lines; just drop your kid and leave. I wonder if this church has a hard time finding volunteers for the nursery; many older congregations do, even though they keep saying how much they want young families.

This church sits on the corner of a major intersection in a medium-sized metropolitan area. Visibility is not an issue. They just don't seem to be making much effort towards extending hospitality towards outsiders. If I had been an unchurched seeker, then this experience may have very well turned me off when it came to church.

I've learned a lot over the past year, being a congregant instead of the pastor. The little things really do add up...it's not just a matter of inviting people to church (which is important), but it's also a matter of creating a space and an atmosphere where all are welcomed when they come through the doors. And of truly celebrating the risen Christ with joy, instead of a quasi-funeral service every week.

On the positive side, we visited my mother-in-law's church over Easter, and it was an entirely different experience. We were welcomed and drawn into conversation, the nursery was staffed and Nora was engaged, and the service (traditional in style) was joyful and vibrant. We felt a part of the worshiping community, focused on praising the God we all serve. This was a small, older congregation, but the feeling was entirely different.

OK, I'm stepping off my soapbox. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Susanna at (almost) 21 months

Susanna will be 21 months old on Friday! She's growing so fast (26 lbs last time she went to the doctor) and learning so much. She's becoming her own person, and it's bittersweet to watch it happen. She's still not walking on her own, but is able to "walk" 50 feet or so if you hold both her hands and walk with her. She has a ride-on toy that she loves to use, and we just won a 3-month family membership to the YMCA and I hope to get her in the water more often.

She is very vocal. She talks constantly, although we don't always recognize what she's saying. Here are some of her words:
-milk
-juice
-cheese
-book
-dog
-Mama
-Dada
-uh-oh
-bye-bye
-more
-shoes

There are at least 20 more, but I can't think them all off the top of my head.

She can totally feed herself now, even with stuff that requires a spoon (like pudding). She loves food and will eat almost anything, although she doesn't seem to really like strawberries. She likes to be held and cuddled, but usually only for a few minutes at a time. She and Simon are the best of friends and she sometimes feeds him her food before we catch her.

Susanna LOVES music and even "dances" sometimes. It's really cute. She's just barely beginning to have an interest in TV, but does seem to like Sesame Street. She likes being around people and is generally very happy. We do not have to worry about her ever suffering silently; we know when she's happy and when she's unhappy and she's getting much better about telling us what she needs/wants.

She loves bathtime and I usually have to take her out of the water before she's ready. She had her first haircut about two weeks ago (I'll post pics later, or check my Facebook page). Her hair is still very very curly and blonde and her eyes are still blue, although they occasionally look more hazel, depending on the day.

We're very blessed that she's been pretty healthy overall. This year, she's had a few colds, a mild case of bronchiolitis, a stomach bug, and four ear infections (one of which was really bad and caused her to run a fever). However, it could have been a lot worse, especially since she's in daycare.

Basically, Susanna is an amazing kid and we feel very blessed to be her parents. Keep praying about the walking; her MRI and bloodwork were clear, so the issue mainly seems to be low muscle tone. She's still receiving physical therapy once a week and we see the neurologist again on June 18.

RevGalBlogPals: Vacation Post

1) What did your family do for vacations when you were a child? Or did you have stay-cations at home?

We almost always went to the beach, specifically the Outer Banks in North Carolina. When we lived in Hawaii (for two years; my dad worked for a government contractor) we visited Kauai, Maui, and the Big Island. Once we went to Florida and spent 10 days on the beach and then two days at Disney World. Every other time was a different location in the Outer Banks. We would rent a beach house and do virtually nothing for a week.

2) Tell us about your favorite vacation ever:

We rented a house on Ocracoke Island, NC. It's very remote-only accessible by ferry. My dad rented a boat and went fishing every morning. I rented a bike and roamed the island. My brother played Nintendo. My mom and I checked out about 50 library books and we read them all. My dad read books when he wasn't fishing. We went to the beach each day. Extremely relaxing. I think I need to make Harry take me back there.

3) What do you do for a one-day or afternoon getaway...is there a place nearby that you escape to on a Saturday afternoon/other day off?

I personally love the beach (can you tell?) and I'm blessed enough to live about 30 minutes from the Atlantic Ocean or Chesapeake Bay. I occasionally make a solo trip to an outlet mall about 30 minutes from my hospital, and as a family we enjoy going to a very nice theme park about an hour from my house.

4) What's your best recommendation for a full-on vacation near you...what would you suggest to someone coming to your area? (Near - may be defined any way you wish!)

I live near a resort area, but I'd actually recommend Chincoteague Island, which is maybe four hours and a bridge/tunnel trip away. It's so relaxing, has a beautiful beach, and is much less congested than the big resort area that's so close to me. Plus, it's where my husband and I honeymooned, so it has sentimental appeal.

5) What's your DREAM VACATION?

I really want to go back to Hawaii. We lived there for two years (on Oahu, the main island) and left when I was 10. I'd like to fly into Honolulu and spent a few days on Oahu at the beginning and end of our vacation, recovering from jet lag and then seeing my old haunts. Then, I'd like to spend maybe two or three weeks island-hopping (Maui, Big Island, Molokai, Lanai, Kauai), with at least several days spent on Kauai, my favorite island. Of course, there are the beaches, but there's so much more to see and experience; rain forests, fern grottoes, the "grand canyon of the Pacific", waterfalls, volcanoes, etc. If I was really dreaming big, I'd include a week in Australia/New Zealand and go to Hawaii afterward. OK, I might as well admit it; if I won the lottery and money wasn't an option, I'd take a year off and travel the world. Since I don't even play the lottery, that's not likely to happen.

Handy Husband

If you've read James' post, then you know about our new heating/cooling system that was installed on Tuesday. It's one of many updates we've done in the house, but so far cost the most. We're enjoying it, though. I'll enjoy it even more when we get our next electric bill and see that it's actually saving us money.

James decided to take off this entire week, since he has the time and felt like taking a break. He's kept himself busy. On Monday, he cleaned the downstairs for me. On Tuesday and Wednesday, he did some fancy wiring for our surround sound system (he'll have to explain it to you, but there are no more loose wires and four little plugs in the wall). Yesterday, we went to Home Depot, picked out paint and a new faucet for the powder room, and he painted the room (a light beige, which looks much better than the boring white) and installed the faucet. Today, he was planning on moving everything back into the bathroom and also installing new fixtures (a towel ring and toilet paper holder) as well as hanging a painting we bought. Several months ago, we bought new decorative accessories (lotion holder, rug, wastebasket in a palm tree motif and some green hand towels) and have been using them, but they'll look even nicer with the new paint and fixtures.

We have owned this house for a year now, and while we love it, we're beginning to realize just how much of an investment home ownership is. We had an inspection and did go in with our "eyes open", but have had some surprises. The house is 15 years old, and most everything is original. Plus, the owners seemed to like to do things cheaply/badly and from all appearances, didn't do a lot of upkeep. And in our humble opinions, they had horrible decorative taste. Since buying the house, we've probably spent $15,000 on repairs/updates/equipment, most of them absolutely necessary. Here's a list off the top of my head:
-Redid half of shelving in MBR closet (our first week, a bunch of shelving fell out of the wall during the night).
-Painted Susanna's room (not necessary, but it looks nice)
-Replaced hot water heater
-Replaced garbage disposal
-Replaced thermostat
-Bought lawn mower, weedeater, and tiller
-Installed doggie door for Simon
-Replaced heating/cooling system (the biggest expense to date)
-Installed wood blinds (the house came with no window coverings)
-Replaced ice maker in fridge
-Bought carpet cleaner (not essential, but the carpets hadn't been cleaned in ages)
-Painted downstairs bathroom
-Replaced faucet in downstairs bathroom
-Replaced hardware in downstairs bathroom
-Bought new furniture for family room and dining room (I got our dining room set-table with six chairs and a china cabinet- for $500 on Craigslist!)

I'm sure James can think of more that I've forgotten. We still have lots more to do, some of it essential, some optional. On the "wish/need" list:
-Replace roof (it hopefully has five years left)
-Replace siding and trim
-Replace windows (the gas seal has already broken in them)
-Paint master bedroom, family room, master bathroom, and Susanna's bathroom.
-Replace all flooring (We want engineered hardwood downstairs; carpet on the stairs and upstairs, and tile or nice vinyl in the upstairs bathrooms. It's currently a mix of ugly vinyl, plank flooring, and carpet.)
-Replace vanities in all bathrooms.
-Replace hardware/faucets in other two bathrooms
-Renovate kitchen and replace all appliances (we want black appliances, updgraded countertops and cabinets, and a new sink). This project will be even more $$ than the heating/cooling system, so it won't happen for a while...like 5-10 years.
-New deck/terrace/patio in back. It's currently poured concrete and I'd like to upgrade to brick, flagstone, or maybe a slightly raised deck area.

Yeah, so once all that's done, we'll pretty much have the house of our dreams, which means that we'll have to move. That's what always happened with my parents, anyway...

Our next project? Painting and decorating the master bedroom. I got a great deal on some paintings at a gallery in Roanoke, and can't wait to make our bedroom a nice "getaway" for us.

New Heat & AC today

Well, the guys from 7 Services just started the heat and AC replacement. We're getting a new Carrier Infinity System with the air purifier. This should be a drastic upgrade from our alleyway-drug-deal model the prior owners(who should rot in hell for all their cheap choices!) bought original to the house. It's amazing the units lasted as long as they did, and we've had no major trouble over the past year. However, the AC leaks like an old VW Bug, and there is rust all over the place. In addition, the system doesn't work very well at heating or cooling in general. (It's slightly under-sized! Imagine that!)

We're getting the Infinity heat pump 16 SEER model, and a backup furnace for the cold winter nights that is 95% efficient. In addition, the unit is a multi-stage which saves more energy, and the blower is variable speed, saving us some more dough and keeping upstairs/downstairs a more consistent temperature. The thermostat control will almost make your breakfast for you. It control's temp, humidity(big bonus around here!!!), air quality, etc. Of course this all comes at a high price tag, but hopefully we won't have to replace it for another 20 years. In theory, we'll save $1000 this coming year in natural gas and electricity costs, so it will pay for itself in less than 10 years. In addition, there is the $1500 tax credit we'll get to claim that makes it that much more of a deal. (From my estimates, it will pay for itself in 5-7 years!) It comes with a 10 year warranty (w/labor included).

I'll report later tonight on the finished product.

Our little girl is growing up so fast! Here's a pic taken about six weeks ago. I have plenty more, but need to download/post them. Susanna has lost her love for the camera and tends to look away instead of look at the camera. It's made getting ultra-cute pics much harder.

Susanna Goes to the Neurologist

This afternoon, I took Susanna to her neurology appointment at CHKD (Children's Hospital of the Kings Daughters). James had a meeting, so he couldn't go with us. :( I was very impressed with the neurologist, Dr. N. He observed Susanna, examined her, and took a history of my pregnancy, her birth, and her development. His conclusion was that most likely, Susanna doesn't have anything that needs to be "fixed" (such as through surgery) or any major disorder. He basically diagnosed her with a developmental delay in gross motor skills...which we already knew about. He gave me two options: wait a few more months and see if she improves OR go ahead and have some diagnostic tests done to be "on the safe side." I chose option B. We've been waiting nine months already and she's had four months of physical therapy. I want to make sure there's nothing major going on, just for peace of mind.

So...he ordered a whole bunch of bloodwork (looked like every test you can have) and a MRI of her brain. The bloodwork we can do anytime; the MRI is scheduled for April 6. Since she's so young, she'll need to be sedated. We're also going to continue with her physical therapy and working with her at home. She appears to have a strong will, so maybe she's just not ready to walk, yet. I didn't walk until I was 21 months old or something like that, so maybe it's also a genetic thing. Who knows?

Regardless of her lack of mobility, she is an absolutely delightful, intelligent, and happy child. James and I feel very blessed to be her parents.

She's huge!

Susanna turned 18 months old on Sunday, and on Tuesday I took her for her 18-month check-up. She got a clean bill of health and weighs 24 lbs (50th percentile) and is 34" tall (95th percentile). Clearly, she is taking after her father in terms of height. That's fine, because I don't want her to hear short jokes for the rest of her life.

I love her pediatrician. She's easy to get along with, knows her stuff, and seems to be on the same wavelength with me. I came prepared to ask for a neurology referral, since Susanna is still not walking, even after three months of PT. However, her pedi beat me to it. As soon as I mentioned that she wasn't walking yet, the pedi said, "has she seen neurology yet? If not, I think it would be a good idea." The office called and set up an appointment right then, and we see the neurologist at CHKD (Children's Hospital of the Kings Daughters in Norfolk) next Thursday!

You may be asking, "why a neurology referral for delayed walking? Why not a developmental pediatrician or an orthopaedist?" Well...Susanna's main issue (according to her physical therapist, who I just love) is low muscle tone. And low muscle tone is a neurological issue. As far as we can tell, her bone structure is just fine. And a developmental pediatrician (while probably a good idea at some point) would probably just do an assessment and refer to neurology anyway. So...to neurology we'll go on March 12.

In other news, I'm sick again. I have a sore throat, a dry, hacking cough, and sinus congestion. Actually, James and I have been sick about 80% of the time since November. I'm blaming a big part of it on Susanna being in daycare and bringing germs home. My spending lots of time in the ER might have something to do with it, too. You know what the funny thing is? Susanna will get a minor case of the sniffles, and two days later James or I (or both of us) will come down with a cold/bronchitis/sinus infection. Or, she'll have a few messy/explosive diapers and a few days later, James/me/both of us will come down with a GI bug that kicks our butts. This is NOT FAIR. However, I am thankful that Susanna has been mostly healthy. With the exception of two ear infections and a minor case of bronchiolitis, she's been healthy this winter. Except, of course, for the sniffles and messy diapers, but I don't count those as being "sick."

Five "Forks" In the Road

I guess I was supposed to do this on Friday, but I didn't have time then, so here goes. This is something I got from RevGalBlogPals:

For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

#1 My decision to attend my undergraduate alma mater. It was during my college years, under the mentoring and influence of several friends and professors, that I sensed and answered the call to ordained ministry. It was

Welcome to Lent!

Today is Ash Wednesday, which traditionally marks the beginning of the Christian season of Lent (the 40-day period before Easter). If you are so inclined, I encourage you to read Chris Howlett's excellent blog posting on the true meaning of Lent.

Also, Joel 2:12-13 is a great passage that goes along with this day. Be sure and attend an Ash Wednesday service sometime today! Most liturgical (Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran, etc) churches will have one this evening. I'm on call tonight, but hoping that the pager will "behave" so I can go to a nearby service.

In non-sacred news, we got new blinds yesterday. They're wood and match our window sills perfectly. We only bought five (5) this time, and have 11 more to purchase. We currently have blinds in the living room, dining room, and master bedroom. We still need blinds for the kitchen, family room, Susanna's room, office, and guest room. My mom lent/gave us a few honeycomb blinds when we moved in, so our windows haven't been completely bare for the past nine months...but we've have no window coverings at all downstairs.

I think I want to decorate the master bedroom and bath with our tax refund money. We're still looking for a dining set (table that seats at least six and maybe even a china hutch) on craigslist, but will only buy one if it's fairly cheap (under $700) and in good condition.

Now I just need to find an interior decorator. Anyone know of a good one?*

*That's a joke. In case you don't know, my mom was a decorator for years. She may be retired (and therefore not have her samples and suppliers) but she still have a great sense of style, which is what I need the most. I did not inherit her gifts in that area.

Thought-Provoking Reading

I was doing some "blog surfing" yesterday and came across a blog (and a post from that blog) that very much intrigued me. I've included the link below so you can read it if you so desire.

http://locustsandhoney.blogspot.com/2009/01/on-abnormality-of-church.html

I found the post very thought-provoking. It also had a lot of truth in it. Sure, it's a little one-sided and I disagreed with parts of it (or saw it from another perspective), but I found myself agreeing with a lot of it.

I am currently committed to remaining in the United Methodist Church and in the ordination process. The denomination would have to do something really major for me to leave. The UMC is my theological home; where I feel most comfortable. I am also very committed to remaining in the local church in some sort of role. However, I am fully aware of the many major flaws in both my denomination and in the local church (regardless of denomination). There are many times when I get so frustrated and angry with either or both of the above institutions and the people in them. That's why I found myself agreeing with some of what John said. I've been hurt by the church, also. However, I still stick with the UMC/local church because I believe in God's redeeming power working through individuals and groups. No one and nothing is beyond God's redemption, but it takes faithful and receptive individuals for that redemption to occur. Simply put, I feel called to be one of those agents of God's redemption, even if I have to wait until heaven to see the fruits of my labor. Is it painful? Yes. May I change my mind later (and leave the denomination and local church altogether? Possibly, although I hope not. Is it worth the pain and frustration? Yes, and that's why I'll keep working for and praying for redemption and transformation. The day when I say, "it's not worth it" is the day that I'll turn in my credentials and start a house church. However, I sincerely hope that day never arrives.

Clinging to the Rock in the Midst of a Storm

Above is a picture (that I now know is by an artist named Jean Guichard) that my husband and I have been drooling over for some eight years now. We keep seeing it at Christian bookstores, framed very nicely and fairly expensive (which is why we haven't bought it yet) At the bottom of the picture is a verse from Psalm 27: "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?" Of course, the next verse in that Psalm is, "the Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?"

I give God all the credit for getting me through my parish experience, and for bringing me to this place of healing. In the darkest times, when I felt so very alone and couldn't reach any of my clergy friends (for I had several who really encouraged and strengthened me), I imagined God holding me and keeping me safe in the midst of the storm. The thought of God being the Light who would show me the way, and the Rock on whom I could cling when all else failed, kept me going.

I'm very blessed in that I haven't experienced a crisis of faith as a result of my parish experience. I supposed I should clarify and say that my faith in God has not suffered. My faith in God's children certainly has...and I'm sure I'll talk about that at some point. However, I seem to have been gifted with a strong faith that is not easily tested. I am supremely grateful for that gift, because it has gotten me through many a tough time. Since I am only 32, I imagine that I will experience more difficulties in life, and my faith may be tested in new and different ways. I hope that the images I've mentioned here will continue to sustain me in my faith journey.

Heading for the B.O.M.? Check this out...

If you're a UM Elder or Deacon (or aspiring to be one), then check out this link and tell me what you think about it:

http://adventures-in-revland.blogspot.com/2009/02/unofficial-guide-to-candidates.html

See Our New Poll!

James and I are expecting to receive a nice chunk of change from Uncle Sam via our tax refund. Of course, a good part of it will go into savings, since that's the smart thing to do (esp. given the economy). However, we want to use some of it towards home improvements. James suggested buying a new appliance (such as a refrigerator or oven) but I'm leaning more towards decorating a room. I'm torn between the master bedroom/bath (an oasis for us) or the dining room (so we don't have to be embarassed when friends come over and we break out the folding chairs).

So, I've added a poll on the sidebar, and I ask you to vote for your choice. I'll take that into account when deciding. For James' sake, I've also included the kitchen (although we can only afford to replace an appliance and maybe get some decorations; we can't afford a total redo). If you want to explain your vote, then you're welcome to use the "comments" section of this post.

You have two weeks to vote!

Moving on UP!

Susanna has been promoted to the toddler class at daycare! She's still not walking, but the program director agreed with us that the transition would benefit her. So, she's now in a room with kids her own age (about 14-24 months) and almost all of them are walking. She gets to do lots of fun things now, like coloring, fingerpainting, and playing outside. So far, she's adjusted pretty well. The only wrinkle has been that she's not taking long enough naps (they have a two-hour naptime, but she's only been sleeping for an hour or so). Hopefully that will change in the next week or so.

You know what we like about the promotion? Her tuition has gone down $14/week. Yay!!!

The doggie door arrives...

Earlier this week, I brought Simon his doggie door for the house. We went with a PetSafe In-Wall unit that is pretty much the standard in dog doors. The location of the dog door was somewhat a problem. The wall by the back door would be the ideal location, but there is an electrical outlet and the natural gas shutoff value for the fireplace right next to it. Hence, no dice. OK, so the next option was the kitchenette area. Well, I initially ruled it out due to the stud placements and initial checking. (The dog door is supposed to fit between the studs and is about 12" wide. The studs in the kitchenette seem to be about 8" apart.) So, we had finally thought about it and were going to put it in the dining room. Well, after I ordered the unit, I decided and hashed a plan to get it back to where I wanted in the kitchenette.

To get it there under the window, I removed the siding and foam insulation (cheapo builder!). Well, the window is narrow and already had one supporting stud, and I decide to remove the extra one in the way. Then I reinforced the window with two new studs on each side that would allow the extra clearance for the dog door. Then I put plywood on the outside instead of insulation.

After that, the installation was pretty straightforward according to the instructions. Here's a couple pictures of the final result.



One thing to note is there is about a foot between the door, so I'm going to build a platform and ramp for Simon and some of his smaller buddies. I can imagine Charlie, who is a 20lb beagle might not want to make that leap in and out.

Susanna at 17 months

Isn't she adorable? She got this outfit from Grandma Nina.

Twilight Saga...

Some of you may have heard about Stephenie Meyer's series called Twilight. There are four books in the series, and it's about vampires. That's all I'm going to tell you, so I don't ruin it for those who haven't finished/read it yet.

I began "reading" (listening on CD) these books because a) they're incredibly popular and b) two of my KY friends (hi Alyssa and Stephanie!) have raved about the books on THEIR blogs. I wasn't sure what to think, especially with the vampire element. But I'm open-minded and willing to try new things, so I checked out the first book on CD from my library (I'm frugal; I rarely buy fiction books unless I know I'm going to read them again and again and again. These books qualify, but I haven't bought them yet) and...

Oh. My. Gosh. These books are good. There's Twilight, then New Moon, then Eclipse, then Breaking Dawn (the final book). I just finished Breaking Dawn. It's taken me almost three months to get through the series because I keep having to wait until the book on CD version is available at the library (I was on the "hold list" for the last book for about two months). Then it takes two weeks of commuting to finish the book. If I had read them the traditional way, I could have been done within a week.

It's an incredible series, and very "clean" in terms of morality and ethics. It's marketed for young adults (teenagers) and written by a Mormon, which are two possible reasons. I'd rate the books at PG-13 because there are some hints of violence and teenage hormones. There are some very strong themes and messages that run through the series...love, loyalty, self-denial, family, etc.

If you liked Harry Potter at all, you will probably like this series. I'm very sad that I've read all the books...I guess I'll just have to re-read them for the fun of it.

For those who have read the series, I was fairly happy with the ending, although I can think of a few spin-off possibilities...

Miscellaneous

OK, so posting every six weeks isn't that bad, right? Right???

Allow me to provide a few updates:

• Christmas was fun, and I think that Susanna really enjoyed it. She's really not into the gift thing (yet), which took the pressure off of us. We spent Christmas Eve with my parents and James' mom came down on Christmas Day. Our gifts to each other were exceptionally domestic; I got a laundry sorter and crock pot, and James got a quesadilla maker and cookware.
• With great fear and trembling, I am putting myself up for an appointment this year. I've been working on some of my own issues that contributed to the SJ debacle and also much better informed on how to handle a "problem church." I think that the local church and I deserve to give each other another chance. I'm just terrified, which may be a good thing. At least I won't be cocky.
• I am LOVING my residency. I love my fellow residents, my supervisor, and the rest of the Pastoral Care staff. I also like Riverside. I hate the commute (40 miles each way) but at least I get to listen to lots of books on CD...the residency ends on August 31.
• Susanna is still not walking. She is standing fairly well with support and is developing more muscle tone, which is key. She's still working with the PT, and will do so until she reaches our goal (able to walk/run easily) or her third birthday, whichever comes first. Apparently I didn't walk until I was about 22 months, so this may be a genetic thing.
• Outside the walking issue, she is still clearly the most adorable, intelligent, and personable child alive. James and I are absolutely enthralled by her, and she charms everyone she meets. She's been sick more this year, with two ear infections and a recent bout of bronchiolitis (thankfully, no ER trip this time!), but her daycare is larger and she's not getting "mommy's milk" anymore. However, she's still pretty healthy, which is a relief. Last time we checked, she was about 31" long and weighed about 23 lbs. She has a smattering of words and lots of unrecognizable sounds. She likes bananas, quesadillas, green beans, and chocolate chip cookies.
• Simon is enjoying his life as a suburban dog and likes barking at the other dogs in the neighborhood. His closest "friend" is Charlie, whose parents are Joel and Melissa (good friends of ours who live in Hampton). He is incredibly gentle with Susanna, who calls him "Dog dog" and likes to pet/hit him. We have yet to see him snap or growl at her. He just gets up and moves when he's had enough. Simon is still extremely cuddly and likes sleeping in bed with us.
• James is doing very, very well at work. He's already gotten a big, fat raise and a performance award. He likes what he's doing, which is a nice change from those last few months at NCCU. Job Satisfaction + Job Success = Happy Husband.

And...I think that's about it. I'll try and post some pictures soon, so you can see how absolutely cute our daughter is.

Tossing a bone...

Life is crazy with both of us working and keeping up with Susanna and the house. Here's a picture of her, taken yesterday, when she was out with Nani (my mom) on a house tour. Susanna is now 15 months old, weighs 22 lbs 9 ozs, and is 31" tall. She is an absolute delight. She's not walking yet, due to low muscle tone. We're working with Early Intervention, and she's receiving physical therapy on a weekly basis. She should be walking with ease by late spring at the absolute latest. I'm personally hoping that she'll be walking by the 18 month mark.

The good news? The Early Intervention team evaluated EVERYTHING, and she is either on target or advanced in every area except for gross motor skills (50% delay) and fine motor skills (30% delay). In other words, we caught this early enough that it shouldn't affect her on a long-term basis. Her cognitive, speech, and social skills are fine, and those are what matter most to us.

Week 6 Reflections

Contrary to my beloved husband's statement, I have not abandoned this blog. I have, however, been very busy. To help you stay connected, I thought I'd begin posting my weekly reflections. Each week I am required to write a one-page journal of sorts about any major relationships, events, or realizations from the week. My supervisor is the only one who sees this reflection, but I'll share it with you. However, if there is information that I deem too personal, I'll edit it out before posting.

FYI, we're all assigned a few floors, where we do rounds every few days among the patients and staff. Mine are: Labor/Delivery, Mother/Baby, NICU (neonatal intensive care), Pediatrics, Hematology/Oncology (Hem/Onc), 4 West (oncology), and 5 Annex (orthopedics).

This week I’ve felt like I’m making progress with the Labor & Delivery staff. I’ve now received three referrals for pastoral care, including one on Wednesday evening. A young woman had miscarried at 14 weeks gestation, and was still holding the fetus in her hands when I arrived. It was so tiny (about the length of a credit card) and very red, yet was fully formed. The more death calls I attend (whether they be for a 14-week old fetus or an 87-year old adult), the more I realize that pastoral presence, prayer, and words of scripture are the best gifts that I can offer a family at the moment of death. Anything else seems so trite.
Now that I’ve been doing my rounds for over a month, I’ve realized that 4 West and 5 Annex pretty much compete for the majority of my time. In general, I can visit all my other floors within 90 minutes, because there are either very few patients who need my attention or (as in the case of Hem/Onc) the patients either don’t want visitors or are sleeping. This week I was able to have some very meaningful visits with patients, including two women dying of cancer. One had just been told that her cancer was untreatable and all they (meaning the medical team) could do was make her comfortable. She went home on Wednesday. The other one is still a patient (according to my census, since I haven’t made it to the floor yet) and has pancreatic cancer. She knows that the disease is terminal, but she has gone to amazing lengths to stay alive and be with her family as long as possible. She currently has a feeding tube and can’t eat solid foods. She has not been home since April, when she was diagnosed. She’s been in and out of several hospitals and has been staying in a nursing home. I wonder what her quality of life is and if I would go to those lengths to stay alive.
Among other reasons, I wanted to do a residency program so I could figure out what was "wrong" with me and fix it (in a manner of speaking). Even four months ago, I felt like a failure in many areas of my life, especially professionally. My learning goals and early experience in this program have been shaped by my experience in the parish. While I still think my learning goals are good ones, I am gaining perspective on my parish experience and am realizing that it was not ALL my fault, or even mostly my fault. Was I partially responsible? Of course, but a lot of it had to do with dynamics of the system and factors beyond my control. My interactions with patients, staff, and colleagues have been very encouraging and affirming. I’m not perfect and can certainly grow in some areas, but neither am I a total loser. As I’ve slowly begun re-gaining my self-confidence, I’ve had the exciting realization that I am not a failure and definitely have many gifts for ministry. Furthermore, in my next ministry setting (wherever it is) I have confidence that I will be able to use my experience and knowledge to become an effective minister.

Hijacking the blog for some cooler vibrations...

Well, since apparently my wife has abandoned this blog like yesterday's underwear, I'm going to make some use of it. Since we've moved into the house, I've been slowly doing repairs each weekend. Today's adventure was the thermostat, which is an old crusty 1970ish style model that is original to the house. You can see what I mean below:

Since I was already at Home Depot today to get an air filter, I stopped by and surveyed the programmable thermostats and got a significant upgrade. This model allows you to program it for 4 different time slots per day and each day can be controlled independently. It's also nice since it will also support a heat pump with backup heat supply, which we'll probably be having to do in a year or so(The A/C and heat are about 14 years old and original to house as well). It took me about an hour to install it, mainly testing it to make sure it was working properly and to program it. The final result is shown below:



Maybe by next weekend I can have the doggie door delivered and installed for Simon. I"m planning on installing an in-wall unit from PetSafe at this point unless I can find another alternative. He can really annoying about going in and out at times and I want to leave the back door closed as much as possible.

Surrounded By Boys...

In the past two weeks, three of my friends have had baby boys, and another couple just found out that their baby (in-utero) is a boy. So congrats to Alex (Andrew and Tracy), Robert (Amanda and Jack), and Ty (Alyssa and Andy) who entered this world last week. And then I can't wait to meet Joshua (due in February) whose excited parents are Joel and Melissa. Woohoo!

So, I have a request. Would someone PLEASE have a girl? I have all of these cute little girl clothes that I would love to lend to someone. And Susanna wants a girl friend to play with...boys are great, but there's nothing like girl time!

Pastoral Care at Riverside: The Cast of Characters

So now that you know what I'm doing, I thought I'd give you a snapshot of who I work with:



Doug is the Director of Pastoral Care and our CPE Supervisor. He's been at Riverside for as long as I've been alive, but he was probably younger than I am when he started. Doug is one of those people who is always surprising you; just yesterday I found out that he drives a Mustang convertible. Anyway, he is the primary reason why I applied to Riverside. He has a reputation as a great supervisor. Plus, he's United Methodist and went to this GREAT college in southwest Virginia. Teeny little place called Emory & Henry...



Judy is the staff chaplain and basically does all the morning and early afternoon work so that the residents and interns can be in seminars and supervision. She gets here at 5:30 a.m., prays with all of the people going into surgery, and then does rounds of the ER and ICU, and takes any pages until noon. She usually goes home around 2:30 p.m. Judy is very thoughtful; she's the sort of person who remembers birthdays (she even got mine!) and provides "survival kits" for us

Helen is the Office Coordinator, and as she put it, "I'm your Mom." She knows a lot about chaplaincy, the hospital, and how the department works. She's pursuing a call to vocational ministry, and plans to take seminary classes eventually. Helen is very cool and is much more than an adminstrative professional. In fact, if a disaster were to happen, she would be leading one of the three chaplain teams!

The other two residents are:

M is in her late twenties, is single (and very attractive, if any of my single male readers are interested), and originally from Dallas (although, thank goodness, she is not a Cowboys fan). She was in the Air Force for several years after college. M is very down-to-earth, thoughtful, and puts people at ease quickly. However, she's also the kind of person you'd love to hate, if it weren't for the previous qualities. She always looks put-together and stylish, even after 13 hours on-call. I'd kill for her wardrobe, but she's about five sizes smaller than me, so it wouldn't do any good. :) She's Baptist, and will finish seminary in May.

S is in his late thirties, is married with a toddler, and originally from Cincinatti. He's a very friendly and welcoming person and currently pastors a church part-time (yes, both my co-residents are masochists). S graduated from seminary a couple years ago and is also Baptist. He's also a Bengals fan, but I'm trying not to hold that against him.

We also have five pastoral interns, who are doing their FIRST unit of CPE. They're mostly here on Mondays.

We all (so far) get along very well, and I can't see that changing much. The staff tends to eat lunch together every day and we have a staff meeting most mornings. We also gather for devotions in the morning, and take turns leading that. It's a very diverse group (although we're all Christian), which is pretty cool.

OK Patti, WHAT Are You Doing This Year???

For the next twelve months (until August 31, 2009) I will be doing what is called a "residency in Clinical Pastoral Education." What the heck is that, you ask? When I'm pressed for time, I simply tell people that I'm a hospital chaplain. It's simple and it's fairly true. However, I'm not pressed for time now. I'm on call tonight and am killing time on the computers in the doctors' lounge (to which we have access, strangely enough).

Those of you who have known me a while may remember the work I did at Hospice the summer of 2005. That was my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education. Simply put, it's clinical (hospital, hospice, nursing home, etc) work combined with supervision, seminars, and reflection. You do pastoral care in a clinical setting, you reflect on and receive feedback regarding your work, and then you put into practice what you have learned. Most denominations either require or recommend a unit or half unit for ordination, and most people do that first unit and move on to bigger and better things.

So that's CPE in a nutshell. I love it, but there are times when it's really emotionally draining. As part of our reflection process (which is mostly done through "verbatims", or accounts of patient/family visits), we have to pinpoint any "hot buttons" that the visit may have touched. For example, if someone had a difficult time providing care for a dying alcoholic because his/her father was an alcoholic and the visit brought back painful memories. That sort of thing. With the right supervisor and the right peer group, CPE can turn out to be a very powerful and healing force in someone's life and ministry.

So...that's what I'll be doing until next August. I'll actually be completing FOUR units of CPE. It's a full-time program, so I work from 8:30-5:00 Monday through Friday, plus four on-call nights a month. I actually get to go home early the day after my on-call shift, so that's kind of nice. When I'm on-call, I stay at the hospital and take pages from 5:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. I still have to be at work at 8:30, HOWEVER, I usually leave after our seminars are completed, around 10:00 or 11:00 a.m.

It's a paid position (although considerably less than I was making as a pastor) with benefits. Once I'm done, I can either return to the local church or seek a position as a chaplain somewhere. I don't know what I'll do yet...it's too early to decide. I really love it so far, although there have been some tough times. Example: last week a fifty-something man was brought to the ER in cardiac arrest. He was from out of state, and had collapsed while playing in a tennis tournament. I took the page, so first I had to comfort his three friends (one of whom had been his tennis partner for 20+ years), then return four hours later to comfort his wife when she arrived. I also got to act as a liason between the ER staff and the family, like finding out when and where they could view the body and stuff like that. It was pretty rough. However, it's also very rewarding to be able to provide care for someone and be "Jesus with skin on".

We're alive...just busy!

I started my chaplain residency program two weeks ago...on September 2. I'm loving it, but of course things have been rather crazy. I leave the house at 7:00 a.m. in order to clock in at 8:30. I leave at 5:00, and usually arrive home about 6:00 p.m. I have one on-call night a week, so I have to stay at the hospital that night and come home the next morning. And then we have all the household chores...James and I spent today cleaning the house and doing laundry. At least it means that tomorrow we can have some fun!

We have Susanna in a great daycare that's actually on my way to work. The daycare is in Chesapeake, so it's close to home. I drop her off in the morning and James picks her up in the evening. So far, Susanna is really enjoying it.

I'll post more later...about Susanna's first b-day party (including pics), more about my program and what I'm doing, and Susanna's 12-month appointment.

Look Who's Turned One!

Susanna's first birthday is today. It's bittersweet for me. On the one hand, I'm celebrating her life and looking forward to many more years. On the other hand, I'm a little sad that my little girl is growing up so fast. Above is a picture of Susanna just moments after her birth. Here is a picture of what she looks like now:

It's amazing how much she's grown! We feel very blessed to be her parents.

Who's the kid?

This past weekend, we headed up to McLean so I could preach at my home church. We stayed in a hotel (that's another blog post entirely), but we spent a lot of time with our friend Paul. We also got to see our friend Mike, which was great. Anyway, on Sunday afternoon Paul and Susanna got a little silly. It was fun to watch, and I had to capture it on video. Turn your sound on to get the full effect!

Seven years!!!!!!!!

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary. I can't believe it. Time sure does fly when you're having fun. James and I had our "anniversary date" on Friday. We went to a local seafood restaurant and to see "Dark Knight" (which is very good, by the way). It was the first time we had been to a movie theatre since Susanna's birth! My mom and dad kept Susanna overnight, so we were able to sleep in the next morning and spend some extra time together (Have I mentioned how great it is to have my parents living less than 20 miles away?). We picked Susanna up around 12:30 on Saturday. We missed her, but it was great to have that time alone.

We are very thankful for the seven years we have had, and the many blessings that God has given us (one of whom is sitting in our La-Z-Boy, nursing a bottle). We've always joked that we signed up for the sixty-year marriage plan, so seven years down, fifty-three to go!

Happy anniversary, honey!

My new toy

I've had a love-hate relationship with our stroller for a while. It's this huge contraption that weighs at least 30 lbs and even folded takes up a huge amount of space. However, we've been using it for almost six months because it was a hand-me-down and therefore free.

For the past three months I've been researching strollers and deciding what would be best for me (James had no complaints about The Mothership, as I call it). I've read various reviews, tried some out at Babies R Us, and asked my friends. My major requirements were that it be a reasonable price (under $200...there are strollers that cost $500), weigh under 20 lbs, have a fairly compact fold, and be well-made. I didn't want a cheap-o umbrella stroller because their handles are too low, even for me. And since Susanna seems to be determined to stay at the top of the growth charts, I wanted the stroller to be comfy for her as she grows.

So after much deliberation, I decided that the Maclaren Triumph was my top pick. It meets all my requirements, has a very good reputation, and is an absolute breeze to fold and carry. Plus, it came in a nice selection of colors.

Of course, the biggest challenge was convincing James that this was the stroller for us and that he should let me buy it. Through a strange turn of events last night (we were having friends over for dinner), he told me I could go out and get it. So, my friend Melissa and I looked at each other, and drove off to Babies R Us (which is now only 15 minutes away). Less than an hour later, we arrived home with the stroller pictured above. I'm very excited. Thanks, Honey!

Meet Clyde!

My parents have a new dog! His name is Clyde and he's three years old. My dad adopted him from a shelter. He's a Doberman mix, but don't hold that against him. We met him on Friday night, and he's a very nice, friendly, gentle, and loving dog. He was very good with Susanna. Simon can't wait to meet his new "uncle", although we're going to wait until Clyde's a little more settled before we introduce them.

Welcome to the family, Clyde!

Rest in Peace, Rocky

David Rockfish "Rocky" Sufficool
November 7, 1997 to July 17, 2008

My parents' dog, Rocky, died very suddenly this morning. My dad said that Rocky had a massive tumor that suddenly bled out. My dad took Rocky to the emergency vet, and they had to put him down. We got him when he was six weeks old; I was halfway through my junior year of college. I took Rocky on walks and took him to obedience school (which he failed miserably, mostly because he was the largest dog by about 30 lbs and I didn't practice with him enough). Although I haven't lived at home in seven years, I still thought of him as partly "my" dog, because we had so much history together.

Rocky was a wonderful dog, full of character. We'll all miss him, but I think his death will be the hardest on my dad, because he and Rocky were very close.

I like to think that Rocky and Woody are playing happily together in doggie heaven, munching on treats to their hearts' content.

Our Little Giant

Susanna had her nine-month checkup today. Yes, I know it's six weeks late. However, that's what happens when you move and have to find a new pediatrician. When I called the last week of May, July 16 was their first available "well child" appointment.

Anywho, I love her new doctor. She took time to listen and answer all my questions in a very thorough way. Susanna of course got weighed and measured. She is 29.5 inches tall (which puts her in the 90th percentile) and weighs 20 lbs, 13 oz (which puts her in the 75th percentile). And those percentiles are for a 10 month old, not a 9 month old baby.

We have a large child, folks. I think she'll surpass me in height before she enters middle school. Sigh.

Back from Florida!

We returned from Florida last night, after a four-hour long delay in Charlotte. Mom and I now know the Charlotte airport very well. We highly recommend the BBQ place in the main terminal. :)
Anyway, a great time was had by all, and Susanna proved to be a very good flier (with the exception of the Norfolk-Charlotte leg, but that's another story). I've posted a few pictures to wet your appetite, with more to come. The first is a professional picture from our photo sitting. We thought it would be a nice idea to have a picture of all four of us. The second picture is after church on Sunday morning. The gentleman in the photo is Piet (known to Susanna as "Opa"), my grandmother's companion. Piet has rapidly become a member of the family. The third picture is of Susanna enjoying her first swim. She is obviously my daughter, because she LOVED swimming in both the pool and the Gulf.

Look How She's Grown!

Our little girl...


...isn't so little anymore. At 10 months, she is beginning to look less and less like a baby and more and more like a little girl. We're almost positive that her eyes will permanently be blue, since they haven't changed yet. Her hair is getting longer and kind of curly. It seems like every day she's developing some sort of new skill. It's wonderful and exciting, but kind of sad, too.

Susanna and Simon are becoming good friends, as you can see in this picture. She pets him and tries to grab his collar. He puts up with it, and licks her lovingly. It's very cute.

Fourth of July Fun!

Last night, we went out on my parents' boat to celebrate the 4th of July. We cruised around the Chesapeake Bay for a few hours and saw most of the city's fireworks displays. It was great; no crowds, no mosquitoes, and at times we could see four or five different fireworks shows at once. Here are a few pictures of Susanna and James. She's wearing a life vest, per USCG rules. She really didn't like it very much, as you can tell from the picture. We think her expression says, "Oh my gosh, these people are unreal. Look what I have to put up with." She didn't have to wear the life vest in the cabin, so she spent a lot of time in there.

Annual Conference 2008

Susanna and I went to Annual Conference last week. We left on Sunday afternoon and returned Wednesday evening. It was in Roanoke this year (they alternate between Roanoke, Norfolk, and Hampton) so we got to stay with James' mom. We had a lot of fun, although it was pretty busy and tiring.

Here's Tuesday's schedule, to give you an idea:

7:30 a.m. We wake up, eat breakfast, and get dressed.
9:45 a.m. Arrive at the Civic Center (about 15 minutes from Nina's apartment)
9:45 a.m.-12:00 p.m. I listen to the various presentations and participate in worship while Susanna looked around, napped, and played on the floor with Chloe, Anna, and Carson.
12:00 p.m. We eat lunch with Dave, a former pastor and family friend.
1:30 p.m.-5:00 p.m. Susanna and I stroll around the exhibit area and the Expo
5:00 p.m. Young Clergy dinner at a local restaurant
7:30 p.m. Back to the Civic Center for a worship service, "Celebrating the Ministry of Young People"
9:30 p.m. Back to Nina's apartment.

Can I just say how amazing Susanna is? She was SO GOOD all week. Sometime she got a little bored and then got fussy, but for the most part she was happy to be strolled around, play with her toys, play with other kids, and take in everything that was going on around her.

This year, the Annual Conference's focus was on Young People. It was pretty neat. Most of the music was contemporary (including at the ordination service, which apparently ticked some people off), the lyrics and liturgy were projected onto screens (although also in the worship book), and all day Tuesday there was an Expo with tons of exhibits to give churches ideas about how to better reach young people.

It was great to see my fellow clergy friends, some of whom I hadn't seen in a year. It was also great to see some friends from Charles Wesley, the church I grew up in. I love Annual Conference, because it's a big reunion and also a great time for refreshment, new ideas, and getting reconnected.

I've posted some pictures for your viewing pleasure. The first one is of Susanna and some friends (a.ka. "the childrens' delegation") playing on the floor during a session. The second is of Susanna holding the Book of Reports, our agenda and guide for all of the sessions/presentations.

What a messy eater!

This morning, James decided to let Susanna feed herself breakfast. She took that to mean "grab spoon with one hand, put other hand in jar and go to town." The end result was slightly messy. However, she did have a blast doing it.

Needless to say, she received a very thorough bath after breakfast.

New skills are always good...

Since I am a stay-at-home mom until September 2, I have the wonderful privilege of cooking the bulk of our family meals. James is a much, much, better cook than me. He's really a natural at it, and usually makes Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. However, I'm the one at home during the day and with (supposedly) more time on my hands, so I've been given the fun task of cooking dinner. For the past two years, while things were so busy, my meal preparation involved a lot of packaged stuff and minimalist meals (slab of meat + canned vegetable = meal). Now that I have more time and less stress, I've resolved to work on my cooking skills.

So far, things are going well. Last week, I made some yummy pork chops in a cherry sauce with fresh green beans (cooked with onion in chicken broth). Tonight, I'm making chicken curry with basmati rice. I also experimented a little and discovered a way to make pot roast positively scrumptious (onion soup mix, cream of mushroom soup, and red potatoes). At some point I'm going to try and make craw fish or shrimp etouffee, because we're simply dying for some good Cajun food (I miss Joe's OK Bayou in Lexington!).

I've realized that I kind of enjoy cooking when I have the time and energy to plan and prepare a yummy meal. My new hero? Rachael Ray and her 30-Minute Meals. Granted, some of her ingredients are obscure/expensive, but there's a Harris Teeter around the corner, and it has virtually everything I need. I figure that with a few exceptions, it's cheaper to make a gourmet meal at home than buy it in a restaurant. The ingredients for tonight's chicken curry may have cost $30 to buy (that's including the big bag of chicken), but a) what I fix tonight will last us for two meals and b) the ingredients I bought should make another 3-4 batches of curry, easily. Definitely cheaper than buying the prepared product in a restaurant. At least I may have found one domestic task that I may wind up liking and being good at!

However, I wouldn't count on me ever saying that I like cleaning or ironing. Never, ever, ever.

I'm so excited!!!!

In less than a month, my mom, Susanna, and myself are going down to Florida to see my grandmother! We're going for free/extremely cheap thanks to frequent flyer miles. This will be the first time my grandmother will meet Susanna. It will be lots of fun.

I can't wait!!

Patti-1, Icemaker-0

James and I are rapidly learning about the joys of home ownership. This is the second home we've owned, but the first was a brand-new townhouse, so there wasn't really a big worry about something breaking. Our new home is 14 years old, and pretty much everything (refrigerator, stove, roof, a/c unit) is original to the house. It all works fine now, but we're budgeting and planning for some major work in the next five years.

Anyway, our fridge is one of those side-by-side models that have an in-door ice dispenser. Very nice, especially for an ice addict like myself. There's a little problem; the icemaker is very slow. As in, it makes about five (5) cubes a day. I'm not exaggerating. It's been quite frustrating.

So, I figured out a solution. I made a few trays of ice cubes, and tossed the ice cubes into the ice storage bin. Voila! The ice tumbled oblingingly into my glass. I may have to be an ice-making machine for a few days, but hopefully we'll have an abundant supply of ice before long.

James spent this weekend working on our master bedroom closet. A few days after we moved in, half of our closet shelving fell down in the middle of the night. Apparently the previous owners (or the builder) hadn't placed the proper supports on it. Grr....Now half of our closet is redone, and we could probably swing from the rods and not have it collapse. The other half of the closet will be redone probably sometime this fall---after I've started work and have received a paycheck.

How to Transform Your Life in 30 Days or Less...

This blog post will either be very, very long or be split into several parts. I've been very busy for the past six weeks, which is why I haven't posted anything. So, I have a lot of news for you. Let me give you a brief synopsis, so you know what to expect and will stop chomping on your respective bits.

1. As of May 17, I am on family leave ad interim until June 30. This means I am no longer the pastor of St. John's. My last Sunday in the pulpit was May 4, and I took my remaining vacation time, through May 16. My District Superintendent totally supported me in this., and it was something that I needed to do, for a variety of reasons. I'm not going to go into those reasons here; you can e-mail me privately if you want details.
   
2. I've been accepted to a "Residency in Clinical Pastoral Education" at a hospital in Newport News. I begin on September 2. It's a paid position with benefits, and lasts for one year. After that, I may return to the local church or I may get a chaplain position. Only God knows!
   
3. We closed on our new house on May 16. The packers came to Danville on the 19th, they loaded on the 20th, and unloaded in Chesapeake on the 21st. We have about half the house unpacked, including our room, the kitchen, the family room, and most of the living and dining rooms.
   
4. Susanna turned nine (9) months old last Thursday. She has five teeth, number six is poking through, and we're hoping the teeth seven, eight, et al will wait a little bit. She's occasionally miserable, and so are we. Thank God for teething biscuits! She's sitting up by herself, scoots around on her back and tummy, and is making lots of new sounds. This includes "Da-da", which both James and I decided referred to him, since she was looking at him when she said it. Therefore, the kid has her first word at 9 months, and is looking to be as verbal as her mother. I'll post pictures soon, I promise.
   
5. The movers killed James' plasma TV. Thankfully, we had full insurance, so it will be replaced. However, in the meantime, we're back to the 10 year old 20" TV James bought in college. It's better than nothing, but we'll be glad when we have another nice, big screen TV again.
   
6. This stay-at-home mom thing is way harder than I thought it would be. I don't think I'm cut out to do this long-term. I love taking care of Susanna, but I'm not that great at domestic stuff. However, I think I will learn to be a better cook in the next three months.
   
7. James still loves his job. He's splitting time between Norfolk and Suffolk, and works what I call the "schoolyard shift" (between 6:30-7:00 a.m. and 3:30-4:00 p.m.) so he can beat traffic and spend more time with us in the evening.
8. It is so, so nice to have our family together again. It's also nice to be closer to my parents (who live less than 20 miles away) and some of our friends. We can actually have a social life now. Woohoo!
9. I feel peaceful and stress-free for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long. My marriage is better than it has been in a long time, and I hope that the next year will bring healing and wholeness.