A Little Dose of Grace

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24

For the past two years, I've been working as a "PRN" (as-needed) chaplain for a local health system. I work at two hospitals whose spiritual care departments function autonomously but share a budget and the three PRNs (of which I am one). My official boss is a man I'll call Joe, who runs the Spiritual Care department at Maryview. However, I spend a lot of time working at DePaul (because they need me more), and the manager of that Spiritual Care department is a man I'll call Bert, and of course I report to Bert whenever I work at DePaul (although I think if Bert ever wanted to fire me, he would have to consult with Joe). It sounds confusing, but it's not, mostly because Joe and Bert are so incredibly gracious and easy to get along with (and they get along with each other). I have been very blessed to work with them for the past two years, and I will greatly miss them (and the rest of the chaplains) when I leave in June.

A few days ago, it occurred to me to ask Joe and Bert to each send me a letter of recommendation to my District Superintendent, to better aid my D.S. in understanding my gifts, graces, and growing edges in ministry. I hate asking for favors, and I hate asking people to say nice things about me to other people, so this was rather difficult for me. This morning, I summoned up the courage and made the calls. I called Joe first, and he readily agreed to write me a letter of recommendation. Whew. Next, I called Bert, who was out of the office (he is, after all, a chaplain), so I left a voice mail. When Bert called back about 20 minutes later, the conversation went like this:
B: Hi Patti, I was worried when I heard your voice mail.
P: Um...
B: You were supposed to work today...I was wondering if someone was sick or something came up.
(I was supposed to arrive at work between 10:30 and noon and work until 6pm. It was now 12:15. I was in jeans, had Susanna in the backseat, and was on my way to my mom's to pick up Greg. I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN. It wasn't even in my calendar.)
P: Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Bert, I'm sososo sorry...
(Patti blabbers on apologetically for a minute or so).

And Bert...just took it all in stride. He accepted my apology, was beyond understanding, accepting my humanity, my occasionally frantic life...and when I offered to do everything in my power to get there ASAP, he told me that it was OK (probably knowing that I would have to move heaven and earth, or at least bribe my mother, in order to get childcare at such short notice).

In the course of our conversation, I let it slip that I had called to ask him a question. Bert asked me what the question was, and I sort of fudged around and said, "maybe now's not a good time to ask it." He told me to ask it anyway. So, I sheepishly gave him the same spiel I had given Joe (going back under appointment, wanting my DS to know more about my gifts and graces, etc) and Bert readily agreed to write a letter for me. Even though I had totally failed him today. Even though my failure most likely meant that he would need to stay at work a few hours later, and not have an extra chaplain to help him out. Even though I've made other mistakes in the past.

I deserved a lecture and/or tongue-lashing, but I didn't get it. Instead, I received gentleness and understanding.
Some supervisors would seriously consider firing me, but there was no hint of that in Bert's words.
I definitely did not deserve for him to agree to write a letter of reference of my behalf, but he did.

When I hung up the phone, I was nearly in tears, both because of my embarrassment and because of Bert's...grace.

That's what I received today...a dose of grace from Bert. I received far, far more than I deserved. It was a fantastic example of the grace God gives us each and every day of our lives.

Even after we come to faith, we still struggle with our sinful and imperfect nature every day of our lives. We continue to fall short of the ideal, but God continues to forgive us, lift us up, and offer us second...and third...and fourth...and fifth...and five millionth...chances. God does not dwell on who we have been or who we are, but who we can be. When we fail God and expect condemnation, God merely helps us up, dusts us off, and walks with us on our way. God redeems and restores us, time and time again. We don't deserve it, which makes it even sweeter when it happens.

I think Cathleen Falsani describes grace in a great way: "Grace is like receiving a bowl of watermelon gazpacho when you were expecting Taco Bell."

So today, I'm thanking God for continuously giving me bowls of watermelon gazpacho instead of Taco Bell.