I don't know how my clergy friends with big churches or sick and dying congregations do it. Honestly, I don't. I've had a VERY quiet tenure at St. John's--no deaths or life-threatening events in almost 19 months. That changed last Wednesday, when one of my members had a heart attack. He spent three days in the Danville hospital before being transferred to Duke. He underwent triple bypass surgery today and is stable (PRAISE THE LORD). I'm delighted that the surgery went well (in that he made it through alive).
I am however, totally exhausted. In the past week I have made three trips to the Danville hospital (only 11 miles) and two trips to Duke (almost 70 miles one way). I woke up at 4:30 this morning so I could drop Susanna off at daycare by 6:30 and be at Duke by 8. I walked through the door of my house at 5 after picking Susanna up at daycare. It's yucky outside, so my plans for the evening are to stay up until a decent hour (8pm or so) and then crash.
I love pastoral care...caring for my members and their families in times of crisis. It's one of the things that made me want to become a pastor. It is however, utterly exhausting emotionally. It's hard to explain, so I'm not even going to try. However, I do think that my exhaustion and even occasional tears (at the mere thought of having to bury this gentleman) are indicators of my love and my investment, and in that sense, they are good signs.
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